Colin Boyd Shafer

Abi’s Immigration Story – Mexico City, Mexico to New Albany, Mississippi

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Mexico

“I don’t have many memories of Mexico.”

Abi’s memories of life in Mexico are vague – it’s hard to tell what is a memory and what is from the stories her mom has told her. She knows they were poor, and eating from the street vendors was a luxury. This one lady would always come by on a bicycle selling tamales and hot chocolate. Abi would run out to her. The lady would have a huge smile and she never expected Abi to pay her anything – she could see that Abi was poor and hungry. That woman’s kindness, Abi has never forgotten, and it inspired her to want to do good for others too. (audio below)

Abi remembers how close-knit her family was in Mexico and has memories from the day they left. It had been almost two years since they last saw Abi’s father, who was already in the US. Leaving felt spontaneous – Abi had no idea her last day in Mexico, was her last day. She left wearing a black Bart Simpson backpack, with a cardigan, a coloring book, and crayons inside. (audio below)

Leaving

She remembers how sad leaving Mexico was for her mom. Abi was put on a bus which took her close to the border, then she got in the van of her mom’s friend, and this woman brought Abi across the border, saying Abi was one of her daughters. (audio below)

Abi’s mom tried to cross on her own and got caught and sent back to Mexico by border patrol the first time. This meant that Abi, four years old, had to stay two weeks in a hotel room with this stranger who crossed her and her own three kids. Abi remembers the smell of cigarettes and combing the lice from the children’s hair. For these two weeks, her parents didn’t know where Abi was and they were “freaking out”. Then one day, the woman told Abi to get dressed and get in the van. That was the day Abi finally got to see her dad for the first time in almost two years. Three weeks later, her mom crossed the border without getting caught and met up with them.

They stayed in Colorado for a few months, where an aunt was living. Adjusting to the United States was hard for Abi’s mom, and job opportunities were scarce. An uncle had a construction business down in Mississippi, so they headed there to try it out. Abi’s dad was a welder in Mexico, but in America, he worked in construction and for a furniture business. Her mom, the daughter of a seamstress, had always worked office jobs in Mexico. She always said she would never sew like her mom did but a factory in Mississippi was hiring, and she has been sewing for them ever since. Both of Abi’s parents had to work night shifts. 

Abi’s mom, in particular, has endured a lot being away from her family.

“To be able to fight as hard as my mom has to raise my sister and me is incredible. We are family people, and she didn’t have support.”

Adapting

It wasn’t easy for Abi to adapt to school in Mississippi. She started kindergarten in New Albany, and only three other Hispanic families had kids at that school. She always felt like she was bringing weird-smelling foods or weird-looking drinks to school.

“We don’t stop being Mexicans just because we moved to a different country. It was hard to find friends that wouldn’t look at you weird. It’s really close-minded here. The Hispanic community is large now, but back then, it was small, so we were ‘foreigners.’”

There also wasn’t an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher at her school to help her.

“I remember for two years, all they did was stick us Hispanics in a room and let us draw on the board.”

But Abi will never forget one teacher, Ms. Tammy Hill, who would try her best to help despite the language barrier. It was because of Ms. Hill that she learned English in nine months. (audio below)

Abi always felt excluded due to religious differences. Most of the people in this part of Mississippi are Baptists, whereas her family is Catholic. She felt like people were always asking her questions about the bible, and she couldn’t believe they do “bible drills”. (audio below)

Community

“I’ve always been a loner.”

Her mom thought Abi needed friends and signed her up for Girl Scouts. The leader, Miss Kareen, was the first white person Abi remembers truly accepting her and the other Hispanic kids. Her first friends, her age, were Miss Kareen’s daughter and niece.

“They were the first American family that accepted us for who we were. They didn’t question why we weren’t speaking English or why we couldn’t afford this or that. Girl Scouts will always hold a special place in my heart. It gave me the confidence I never had as a kid. We were all the weird kids, and we bonded over our weirdness.” (audio below)

Stokes is a general store off the highway that’s been around for many years. It’s where Abi’s parents would go to cash their work checks. They couldn’t cash them at most places without ID, but Mr. Stokes would cash them. He asked her family what they missed from home, and they said tortillas.

“There was nowhere here that you could find tortillas. Mr. Stokes said ‘give me a list,’ and he would order Mexican products to bring into the store. He was one of the few people who supported immigrants in this community. He always told me I could take one candy that I wanted when my parents cashed their checks.” (audio below)

Like Miss Kareen, Mr. Stokes, who passed away recently, treated Abi’s family with respect and kindness.

Dreams

From an early age, Abi knew she wanted to be a medical surgeon. With her high school counselor’s help, she took all the classes she would need to get accepted, and made excellent grades by “working [her] butt off.” It was two months before she graduated high school in 2013, and many universities had sent her letters of acceptance (including her dream university, Stanford), when Abi came to realize that because she didn’t have a social insurance number, so she wouldn’t qualify for any scholarships. Abi wasn’t going to be able to afford university, which was one of the hardest realizations she has ever had.

“You spend your entire senior year planning out your life and I wanted to go to Stanford so bad. That’s all I ever talked about.”

She settled for community college, and because she was undocumented, she was paying out-of-state tuition. After the first semester, she dropped out.

“I couldn’t get it out of my mind the fact that I had failed myself.” (audio below)

Medical school wasn’t in the cards for Abi. She thought about studying criminal science, and then joining the police force – and then found out she couldn’t do that since she wasn’t a US citizen.

“I went into a depressed state. I always knew something was off about me but I used to be one of those people who said, ‘just think happy thoughts, and it will go away.’”

She didn’t know what to do with her life, felt very alone, and was hopping from job to job. Then she met her partner, he helped her a lot, and she started to see “the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Grandma

If there is one person who has inspired Abi the most, it would be her grandma. She was orphaned at a young age, married young to an abusive husband, and got divorced (which was highly unusual at the time).

“My grandma is the epitome of strength and resilience. She put all her kids through school as a single mother. She would find ways to have fun and never focus on the negative.” (audio below)

When Abi left Mexico she thought she would never see her grandma again. Luckily, one decade after she arrived in the US, her grandma got a tourist visa to come to Mississippi and attend Abi’s graduation. Her grandma makes a green mole from scratch and snuck in some spices to make sure Abi got to eat her favorite dish.

“When I see her, it is like we haven’t missed a day. She’s just the light in my world. If I can be half the woman she is I’m doing something good. She forgets a lot of things because of her age, but she never forgets someone’s birthday.”

Although Abi couldn’t go to medical school, she still managed to find employment in the medical field. It started with a job in 2014 at the hospital doing newborn photography. Finding a passion and love for photography helped her get out of her depression. 

After the hospital, she started working at a dental office. Two Italian American dentist twins, Ronnie and Donnie, really believed in her.

“I didn’t know anything about being a dental assistant, and they hired me.”

Future

Abi feels like she is at a bit of a fork in the road and isn’t exactly sure what she is going to do next. She’d like to go to dental school, ideally at Ole Miss.

Even though Abi’s been in Mississippi for almost two decades, the fact that she isn’t from there is something she is reminded of regularly.

“To me, this is my home. New Albany is the first place I made my memories in the US. It doesn’t matter how excluded they make me feel; this is always going to be my home.”

Still, Abi believes that her generation is changing a lot of things here and thinks the future is bright.

“Here in Mississippi, we need to learn how to accept immigrants. We came here because we wanted a better life. If Mississippian people were to open up their doors and listen to our stories, they could start to understand that we aren’t here to invade or take jobs. We are all just people, and we are trying to make life happen for us too. I hope and pray that everyone learns to respect others, who may not look alike, sound alike, or pray alike. We are in the “bible belt,” and if we really are Christians, then we need to act like it. Immigrants should be included.” (audio below)

Abi hopes more people like herself will share their stories.

“I don’t think my story is particularly special from anyone else that has come to the United States to try and make a new life.”

Abi also thinks too many people either try to forget that they came from somewhere else. She doesn’t want to forget her roots.

“Even though I was four years old when I came here, Mexico is still a part of who I am.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Amal’s Immigration Story – Khartoum, Sudan to New Haven, Connecticut

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Sudan

Amal remembers Sudan as sunny, wild, and breathtakingly beautiful, and the Sudanese people, as very giving. 

Amal’s grandmother, Souad Kalafala, whose name means “happiness”, took care of Amal when she was growing up. 

“She taught me how to cook, clean, and organize everything. She also taught me how to trust myself and how to plan for my future.”

Amal realized as a child that she had a real talent for painting. She started using the ink of henna, something popular in Sudan, to do her drawings. Amal especially loves doing henna for brides and grooms, a tradition at Sudanese weddings.

Amal met her husband Aamir at the hospital in Khartoum when she was tending to her sick father, and in 2002 she and Aamir married. She had a good job working at the Bank of Khartoum, and Aamir was a taxi driver. 

Danger

In 2008 the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM) invaded Khartoum. Both parties, the JEM rebels, and the Sudanese government’s army wore similar military outfits, which made it very difficult for anyone to distinguish between the two. While the conflict was ongoing, a group of men entered Aamir’s taxi, and he drove them to their destination. The next thing he knew, Aamir had been captured and jailed by the Sudanese National Intelligence. They accused Aamir of being a member of the JEM rebels, but he was only a taxi driver doing his job.

“I was imprisoned and tortured for a very long time.”

Fleeing to Egypt

Later that year, Aamir escaped from prison, and together the family fled to Egypt with their four-year-old son Ahmed Amir in tow. The five years they spent in Egypt were extremely difficult on Amal and Aamir. When they arrived in Egypt, Aamir was “completely broken” from the torture he had endured – so bad that at one point, he had to be hospitalized. Amal reflects on how long it took for Aamir to get healthy and start communicating again. Despite the terrible memories they have from Egypt, Amal says she met many kind Egyptians.

Their son Ahmed Amir who lived there from age four to age nine, remembers it differently than his parents.

“It was really fun in Egypt! My favorite memory was in a place called Alexandria. I remember how my father taught me how to swim and tried to teach me how to float.”

In Egypt, Amal’s family applied to the United Nations as asylum seekers. After applying, they noticed an improvement in their medical care, and Ahmed Amir was finally able to go to school. For five years, they lived in Egypt, waiting and hoping they would be able to restart their lives somewhere else soon.

Connecticut

Before leaving Egypt, they found out that their new home would be the United States. Amal and her family landed in Connecticut in November 2013. Staff from IRIS (Integrated Refugee and Immigrant Services), a refugee resettlement agency that helped bring their family to the US, were at the airport waiting. They brought Amal, Aamir, and Ahmed Aamir to their new apartment. That first morning in America was the first time any of them had seen or touched snow. 

“I woke up, and I thought Americans were crazy! I had never seen snow in my life so I thought I saw flour, and it was some cultural tradition that they threw flour on the ground and everything, but then my mom explained it was snow. Then I went outside and I wasn’t wearing anything heavy. I froze in no time! It was really cold outside, and inside it was really warm. It was a really good day.” (audio below)

IRIS

IRIS has had a lasting positive impact on Amal and her family. According to Amal, since picking her family up at the airport, IRIS has been with them “step by step.”

“IRIS was like a big mom for us.” (audio below)

The morning after they arrived in New Haven, they were driven to the IRIS building where they met the staff. Amal will never forget how they were all smiling. Sometimes weekly and often daily, Amal and her family would go to IRIS if they had any problems. 

According to director Chris George, IRIS is not a typical resettlement agency. It doesn’t want to only be “an assembly line of services during the initial months of a refugees’ arrival”. IRIS’s team realizes that refugees need more sustained help. so they provide programming that other agencies might consider extras, like health care, employment services, and an English language program with an early learning program.  (audio below)

“We have these resources because the community knows about us and supports us.”

From Chris George’s experience, Connecticut, and specifically New Haven, is a welcoming place to newcomers. The local community sees the benefits of having a diverse population. (audio below)

Adjusting

Adjusting to life in Connecticut was challenging. Amal went from survival mode in Egypt – where the only thing she was thinking about was the safety of her husband and son – to the United States, and finally being able to imagine a future. Amal found herself always anxious that she was going to lose this newfound safety. (audio below)

Despite being in a much safer environment, it has been challenging for Aamir and Amal to find work and communicate in English. The English Amal had learned in Egypt was British, and people didn’t seem to understand what she was saying at first. Aside from studying English, Amal works part-time in the Whole Foods produce section and loves her supervisor, and coworkers. Her husband, Aamir, works full time at a local restaurant as a dishwasher. He is often on the night shift and usually works 50 or 60 hours a week. He wants to go to school to improve his English, but he doesn’t have any time right now.

Ahmed Amir started fourth grade after arriving. He remembers being in ESL (English as a Second Language) class with Mr. Zach, someone whose patience and kindness helped him adjust. Ahmed Amir couldn’t believe how many different countries his classmates were from.

“Everybody treated each other equally like nothing was different no matter what race you were or color. Everybody was treated the same.”

Ahmed Amir has developed a real love for basketball since moving to the US, something he would never have played in Sudan. His favorite subjects are geography and history and he is especially excited to be learning Spanish this year, so he can communicate with some of his new Spanish-speaking friends in their language. (audio below)

Uncle Adam

They have one other person living in their house, and they refer to him as Uncle Adam. From the Darfur region of Sudan, Uncle Adam had been living in Libya and working as a tailor. When civil war broke out in 2011, he sought refuge at Salum Camp, on the border between Egypt and Libya. Like Amal’s family, he was resettled to New Haven in 2013 but was immediately admitted to hospital for two major surgeries. Today Uncle Adam is blind in one eye, has diabetes, a tumor in his head, and kidney problems. 

After arriving in New Haven, Uncle Adam lived for three years in a home with other single men who didn’t have a family. Most of these men in the house were young and busy working, so they didn’t have time to help him. Uncle Adam and Aamir are not from the same family or tribe, but Aamir saw that Uncle Adam was lonely and started visiting him regularly. Aamir would cook for him, do his laundry, shave his beard, and cut his nails. Aamir could see Uncle Adam wasn’t happy there, so he started bringing Uncle Adam to the house for Amal’s Sudanese cooking. (audio below)

Amal and Aamir realized they could take care of Uncle Adam on a full-time basis. With the help of IRIS, they did all the paperwork to become legally responsible for the care of Uncle Adam. When they first were resettled to New Haven, they lived in a one-bedroom house, but the judge said they needed to change homes for Uncle Adam to have his own room. This change meant an increase in rent, but they are managing.

Faith

Prayer and religion continue to be a big part of their family’s life in America and it’s something that they share with Uncle Adam.

Audio: The family and Uncle Adam praying at home

“We take Uncle Adam to pray at the mosque so that he can see other Sudanese people. Now he is one of the community, and he is doing better.”

Amal says the saddest part of Uncle Adam’s story is that he was trying everything to get his wife to the USA. With the help of a lawyer from IRIS, they started doing all the documents and coordinating with the US embassy in Khartoum. She got her visa, and one week before leaving for the US, she passed away. Uncle Adam was never able to see her again. All four of his children are still in Sudan, and they don’t have the financial means to visit him. 

Ambitions

While in Egypt, Aamir learned how to weld. Someday he would love to work as an engineer or pipeline inspector in the future instead of being a dishwasher. Amal wants to improve her language skills, so she can know more about the people she meets, and they can know her. On top of working at Whole Foods, Amal is studying English, as well as culinary arts, with the hopes that it will land her a good job in the field.

“We need to improve ourselves, our language, and be one of them [Americans]. We came to this country, have our own culture and traditions, but we need to know about these people. At first, we felt like guests, but I think after five years, we are a part of this community.” (audio below)

Future

Amal’s dream for the future is for her son Ahmed Amir to be happy, and seize the opportunities that she knows he has in the United States. 

“I think he is very lucky because of the education he gets here. There are more opportunities here if you want to improve yourself with knowledge. Everything is available here, unless you don’t want it.” (audio below)

Ahmed Amir dreams of one day traveling to Sudan to see his grandmothers and uncles again. 

“I see them over the phone, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen them in person.”

*Update: Since the interview, Amal moved her family to Vermont for an incredible educational opportunity – private high school education for Ahmed Amir. Uncle Adam stayed in Connecticut, at the recommendation of his doctors.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Kriz’s Immigration Story – Hudiksvall, Sweden to Nashville, Tennessee

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Childhood

Kriz was born in the broader community of Hudiksvall, but her family lived in a small fishing village of only 200 households. She had a middle-class upbringing, with her mother at home caring for the family until she was seven. At that point, her mother became a “mail lady” at the post office. Her father worked in the sawmill. She was able to walk to her elementary school in her village, but from seventh grade onwards, Kriz took a bus to and from school. Kriz spent the summers of her childhood at her family’s lake house. Her father built a boat, and Kriz was seven when she first went out in it.

“I’m getting emotional now because he has Alzheimer’s, and his life is degenerating. He built that boat. It had a little engine on it, and he showed me how to start, stop and steer, and how to change the throttle. He started it for me and said, “off you go” and “off I went.” (audio below)

Her father was a keen archer and founder of their village’s archery club. The love of this sport rubbed off on Kriz, and for two years, Kriz held a Swedish national record.

Above: A handmade blown-glass bowl Kriz won at an archery competition

Country Music

Kriz’s dad also loved listening to country music. During family drives, he always played a mixed tape of Swedish traditional music, old-time rock n roll, and country music. He wanted Kriz to play an instrument, and he chose the accordion – which she didn’t care for. When she was 12, a new music teacher moved to the village, and seeing her dislike of the accordion, suggested Kriz try playing the guitar. Kriz started writing country music when she was 13 years old and figures that she has written over 300 songs to date [see her song binders below].

Audio: Kriz singing her signature song

“ I’ve been told that I have a Swedish accent when I speak but not when I sing.” (audio below)

Over the years, Kriz had several different jobs in Sweden: working in the sound department at a TV station and then on a farm. Before moving to the US, Kriz worked at a ski resort in the winter [see the photo below] and spent the rest of the year driving tractors and harvesting at both a sawmill and a peat moss field. Although she has yet to work as a truck driver – one job Kriz has always dreamed about doing.

“I guess it was a romanticized thing for me – the freedom of being on the roads listening to music.”

Growing up, she knew very little about the US, and never had any plans of visiting. All she knew was that it had a strong military, and it was massive.

“Exactly how big it is you don’t understand until you come here. If you travel from the northernmost point to the southernmost point in Sweden, it will take 10 to 12 hours – the same amount of time it takes to travel one state in the US.”

Finding Love

Kriz became an avid user of the website Myspace, regularly posting her music there. A man from Chattanooga, Tennessee, started frequently commenting on her music. In response, Kriz saw the potential for musical collaboration and sent him a recording of her singing along to one of his songs.

“I threw it out there: ‘Maybe we can do something together sometime?’ The conversation continued, and slowly but surely, we fell in love.” (audio below)

The phone bill was getting so expensive that it would be cheaper to buy airfare and meet in person than continue the long-distance relationship. This Tennessean proposed to her over the phone, but she said she wanted to meet him in person first. In 2008 she came to the US, he proposed, and Kriz said ‘yes.’

United States

Moving to the US was intimidating for Kriz, even though she could already speak English well.

“I was afraid I would do something wrong and stand out.”

The ubiquitous billboards lining the road were one of the first things that struck her about America, along with the incredible number of cars. The highway where she grew up had only two lanes, in comparison to the eight lanes in each direction she now experienced. Kriz could not believe people used drive-thru banks! 

“In Sweden you park your car and run errands on foot. Over here you drive-thru everything!”

It was a strange experience being unable to work legally when she first arrived on a K-1 fiancée visa. She used all this free time to learn about American culture by watching the Andy Griffith show. Kriz also started a diary of where and what she ate. The first entry on her list was McDonald’s, where she had a Mcgriddle, something she had never seen in Sweden. 

Kriz’s first job in the US was in a medical office answering phones, and next, she worked in a call center.

Nashville

Kriz and her husband moved from Chattanooga to Nashville because he needed back surgery. After he had recovered, Kriz began working at a chocolate store in a mall where she makes candy, candy apples, and stocks the chocolates. Kriz enjoys the job, and her boss says she would be lost without Kriz.

The first word that comes to mind when Kriz thinks of Nashville is ‘vibrant”. 

“You can feel the music in the air. If you are creative, you can feel inspiration just flowing around. It’s definitely touristy, but it has everything – big city life to country life.”

Kriz regularly visits Percy Priest Lake, only ten miles outside of downtown Nashville. After growing up by the water, it’s where she feels most at home in Tennessee.

Missing Sweden

Kriz misses all the holidays in Sweden, which always seem to be longer and more often there. In Sweden, you don’t put out cookies for Santa at Christmas but instead, leave a bowl of rice pudding. One important holiday in Sweden is Midsommar (Midsummer). It is so dark for most of the year, so they celebrate light! Traditionally young girls pick seven different types of flowers and use these to dream about who they are going to marry. Today most people don’t believe in this custom, but in the past, people did. Superstition amongst the older generation in Sweden was quite common. Kriz’s grandmother was always blaming trolls for any misfortune.

“My grandmother seriously believed in trolls and little supernatural beings living out in the woods or under the cabin. If something was missing, she blamed ‘the little ones.’”

She also misses the Fika culture – the time you socialize over a cup of coffee or a cup of tea (soda or kool-aid for the children) and snack. ‘Having a Fika’ with a friend is part of everyday life in Sweden. Her family always kept cinnamon rolls in the freezer in case someone came over. In nearby Atlanta, there is a large Swedish community and an IKEA store. While Kriz used to enjoy the Swedish meatballs, becoming a vegetarian has made her miss Swedish food less.

Audio: Reading her favorite poem by Swedish poet Dan Andersson

Future

It is hard having her parents still living in Sweden, especially with her father’s Alzheimer’s. Kriz is the only person in her family living in the United States. 

“They respect my choice, but they miss me, and I miss them.”

What makes it even harder lately is that her husband’s health hasn’t been good, so they no longer sing together. In the immediate future, Kriz will be releasing a small collection of poetry, while still hoping to write that “first million-dollar song.” 

Audio: A poem Kriz wrote for her granddaughter’s christening

*Update: Kriz’s father passed away this year. “God and circumstance would have it that I was there visiting, and he passed away peacefully. Even though I couldn’t stay to attend the funeral, the last verse of my dad’s favorite poem was read to him by his casket for me.” If you would like to listen to more of Kriz’s music, you can visit her Facebook Page. 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Analisse’s Immigration Story – La Paz, Bolivia to Waterford, Connecticut

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Childhood

Analisse remembers how beautiful and geographically diverse the area she grew up in was – with both the Andes mountains and the Amazon rainforest close by. While she grew up in a small apartment with her parents and two brothers, her Grandma Lula had a big house with a huge yard they could play in – this is where she created her best childhood memories.

It was a Sunday tradition that the family would have lunch together, and Annalise loved helping her Grandma cook for everyone. Analisse doesn’t know why exactly, but after lunch, the family would all sit together and read the newspaper to one another aloud.

“My cousin would always read the horoscopes to everyone and we would laugh.”

Ambition

A great fouth grade teacher named Mrs. Quinzio sparked Analisse’s interest in one day becoming an educator.

“It’s not that I remember exactly what she taught us, but it was the way that she taught. Ever since then I have wanted to be a teacher to inspire kids and be there for them – especially in the middle school years when there is a lot of change going on with them and their lives. I wanted to push them to become who they can become though they do not even know it yet.” (audio below)

Analisse attended an American school in Bolivia, had family living in Maryland, and an older brother at college in Massachusetts, so she had always planned on going to college in the US.

Soccer

Analisse grew up playing football (soccer) with her dad and brothers. Every weekend they would go to a nearby field and play two on two. Analisse was excellent – so good that she ended up playing on Bolivia’s national team. She wanted to play soccer in college, but she also had other ambitions. Analisse found Connecticut College, a division three school, which seemed like the perfect place to play soccer and study to become a teacher. In 2004, at age 18, Annalise arrived in the United States on a school-sponsored student visa.

Analisse’s experience speaking English at school in Bolivia smoothed the transition to Connecticut. Her college soccer team was the other key factor in this transition. Immediately, it was like she had this family away from home. Her teammates’ parents cared for her. 

“On long weekends or holidays when I couldn’t go back to Bolivia, they would take me in – ‘their adopted soccer child.’ I had all this support.”

Educator

Analisse’s first teaching job after graduating was at the Dual Language & Arts and Magnet Middle School in Waterford, Connecticut. The school has only 150 students, and everyone knows everyone. During English class, her students work on personal narratives. The students review examples of powerful personal narratives, discuss what makes them powerful, and then learn how to write their own. She is trying to inspire them to find ways to express the life experiences and insights they have already gained.

Audio: Classroom discussion about the personal narrative they just read

“When they come to me as brand new sixth graders, they have a lot of thoughts and feelings, but they don’t know how to put it into writing. We spend a lot of time making our stories powerful – making sure that the feeling the students felt when they went through whatever experience they are choosing to write about is transmitted through their writing.”

“I have one student who is writing about her brother who died last year. Every time she writes, she gets teary-eyed, but she is like ‘this is helping me go through all the feelings I’ve been feeling and not knowing how to talk about them.’” (audio below)

Aside from teaching, Analisse is an assistant coach of the women’s soccer team at Connecticut College – the same team she played for.

“Every time I put on my cleats and am out on a soccer field, there is a feeling that it brings back. I have grown up playing soccer my whole life.”

Meeting Amy

When Analisse first met Amy, another local teacher, they would go to Harkness Park on Sundays, to lesson plan together – or at least pretend to.

“We would bring a blanket and some food and write lesson plans. We ended up talking most of the time. I would have to go home after and actually do work!”

They were getting to know each other – and falling in love. Analisse will never forget the unique way Amy proposed to her. They were both into “letterboxing” (an outdoor hobby that combines elements of orienteering, art, and puzzle-solving). Amy hid five different boxes in Harkness Park. She asked Analisse to join her for a walk since she had found some new letterboxing instructions online. They followed the instructions and collected beautiful stamps around the park. While they were walking, it went through Analisse’s mind how this would be the perfect idea for an engagement. When they got down to the water, the last box contained a letter explaining the meaning of all the stamps. Analisse still hadn’t clued in that these stamps and the letters were about their relationship.

“These people have been to the same places we have been! We should be friends with these people! Then the letter mentioned going to Harkness for picnics, and that’s when I started crying and was like ‘this is us!’ Amy reached into the backpack and got out our engagement necklaces.” (audio below)

Future in Jeopardy

When Analisse tried to renew her work visa in 2011, her lawyer made a small clerical error and submitted the wrong employer ID number. This mistake would prove to be costly: putting Analisse’s future in the United States in jeopardy. By the time she became aware of the error, the deadline had passed, and her visa had expired.

“In April 2012, I got a call from my principal saying that I needed to come back to school. She was crying and hugged me and said, ‘you can’t come back to work on Monday. Your work visa expired, and you need to leave the country in ten days.””

Analisse flew to Bolivia and started the renewal process. There were so many forms, and at the time, Bolivia was going through political turmoil. Strikes were frequent, making it hard to get to the consulate. Analisse was also trying to help Amy plan their American wedding – which was to occur in a matter of months – yet she didn’t know if she would ever be able to return to the US. Amy and Analisse began to discuss the idea of moving to Canada together. In the end, Analisse got her visa and returned to the US one month before her wedding.

Marriage

Their wedding took place in the Harkness Park amphitheater in June 2012. Analisse’s parents were not supportive of the marriage, but Amy’s were. Analisse’s uncle, aunt, and cousin were the only people from her side of the family who came – but the amphitheater was full of her friends and coworkers on a beautiful sunny day.

“There was so much love at our wedding. I was sore the next day from dancing so much!”

Analisse’s cousin read a poem in Spanish, and the vows were bilingual. There is a pizza place in New London called Two Wives Pizza, so they thought it was appropriate to head there after the ceremony. Over time, Analisse’s parents’ have become more supportive of their marriage and they are all rebuilding the relationship. Analisse isn’t sure what changed exactly but out of the blue they said they would like to see Amy too when they visit.

When they married, Analisse was still in the US on a work visa. Even though the state of Connecticut recognized the marriage, federally, due to the Defence of Marriage Act, it wasn’t. This prevented Analisse from applying for a green card through marriage. In 2013, when they repealed this federal act, Analisse started the process of applying for a green card. It was a lot of paperwork and required proof that they are actually together. In their package, they included emails, pictures, and letters. A friend recommended that they bring notes from people who know them as a couple. They admit they over-prepared, and once again, Amy surprised Analisse.

Green Card

Amy created a Facebook group for all of their friends, asking them for letters to support their green card application. These letters focused on Amy and Analisse’s relationship and how each of these friends knows them as a couple. Amy gathered all of these letters, put them in a book, and invited the friends to Harkness Park to present the book to Analisse. When Analisse looks at this book she feels overwhelmed with love.

“Amy texted me and said ‘Want to go to Harkness and walk? Oh, by the way, wear your green button-down shirt.’ I’m walking down that path, and I see this whole group of people all wearing green, and I see Amy emerge from there, and I stopped and was like, ‘this is my party.’ I got the book and probably cried for the rest of the time.” (audio below)

Above: A photograph of Analisse and Amy being reunited one month before their wedding after not knowing when they would see each other again

Together

Amy can’t imagine her life without Analisse. When Analisse had to leave the country before their wedding it gave her a glimpse of what that would be like.

“We were both crying the entire month that she was gone. That made our wedding that much more meaningful, and the green card that much more meaningful. I don’t think people realize how hard it is to do legally. To us, it is like, no wonder people come here illegally because it is hard. You really have to have a work connection or relationship with someone to come to this country. You can’t come and just expect to be a citizen. A lot of US citizens think, ‘well why doesn’t that person just become a citizen?’ It’s not that easy, and people don’t understand that.” (audio below)

Analisse and Amy would like to see a lot of change with the immigration process. So much depends on whether you can afford a good lawyer, something Amy stresses is so essential for other people to have when trying to get a green card.

“For a lot of people coming from South and Central America, it is no wonder they are coming here illegally: it’s hard, expensive, and you have to have a lot of connections.” (audio below)

*Update: Since the interview, Analisse is no longer teaching, and is now the strength and conditioning coach at Connecticut College. The Connecticut Sun WNBA team also recently hired Analisse as the head strength and conditioning coach!

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Ihab’s Immigration Story – Basra, Iraq to Harrisonburg, Virginia

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Ihab is the son of a Jordanian father and an Iraqi mother. His paternal family – the Sadoons – have historically been bedouins distributed between Jordan, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait. His father was an orphan, living in a society that did not welcome his people. Despite this, at age 18, Ihab’s father was accepted to study medicine at Johns Hopkins and Columbia University.

War

The family was living in Iraq when Ihab was born in 1979, because of the war and the country’s need for doctors. They would move from one place to another, depending on what hospital needed his father the most. For the first ten years of his life, he and his three siblings grew up surrounded by war.

“I remember our house was hit once with a bomb. I remember packing so many times – packing our stuff and going from one place to another. And I remember losing my friends. We didn’t live more than two or three years in one place – we kept moving, which was very frustrating – it just became so much harder for me to make friends. It’s not worth it to make friends, then lose them in a year or two. We had to leave so many places.” (audio below)

Dentistry

In the 1990s, the economy was failing in Iraq, so the family moved to Jordan, and that’s where Ihab attended university to become a dentist. In 2007 he was accepted to NYU’s graduate program in implant surgery. He did an internship in Maryland and a residency at Columbia University in NYC. Ihab planned on returning to the Middle East, but with the Arab Spring happening, and his daughter in the US, he decided to stay. 

While away from his region of birth, Ihab keeps letters from his late father and his sister close to his heart.

“Every time I feel bad, I open these letters. I start reading and feel good. My dad always reminded me that I came here for a reason – ‘don’t waste your time; do not forget that there are lots of people that are waiting to be helped by you. Always be kind to others. Don’t forget me.’”

Other than his father, he has always been close to his younger sister. Ihab cherishes a letter she wrote saying how much she loves him and can’t wait to travel with him.

“I was having a tough time with my marriage, and my sister always tried to say positive things and remind me to focus on my daughter.”

While living in New York, Ihab became very interested in outdoor activities like hiking, snowboarding, and biking. It was challenging in NYC to get out into nature. This changed in 2013 when he moved to Virginia, which has plentiful and easily accessible outdoor recreation opportunities. 

Harrisonburg

When Ihab first moved to Harrisonburg, Virginia, it didn’t feel like a welcoming community, but that has since changed.

“I feel like Harrisonburg is becoming a good hub for the multicultural community. Once people know you they open their arms, but it takes a while. For the first couple of years, people weren’t welcoming. Locals are not used to foreigners that much. If you go to the countryside where my patients are from, they are not used to accents or different colors.”

Above: A gift Ihab’s daughter made him for the religious holiday Eid

Diversity

At the mosque he attends on Fridays, almost everyone is a refugee. In New York, he was used to meeting people in his community who were highly educated professionals. The Harrisonburg immigrant community is mostly farmers, taxi drivers, and factory workers. He believes this diversity within the community sometimes leads to cultural misunderstandings and has brought both good and bad to Harrisonburg.

“It’s like if you take a guy from West Virginia and dropped him off in India.”

Ihab is trying to get more involved in the Muslim community and local interfaith initiatives, especially after the election in 2016. He is happy that when local churches and synagogues gather, they invite the mosque now.

“We need to show we are part of the community and that we belong.” 

Specialist

Ihab works as a dental surgeon at the hospital, primarily with geriatric patients, as well as covering the emergency room. In New York, he treated a lot of gunshot victims or people in traffic accidents, but here he is doing a lot of extractions.

“It’s not crazy here like it used to be in New York.”

When Ihab first moved to Harrisonburg, a lot of patients were referred to him because of his specialty. Some of them thought he was too young, and that they couldn’t trust him because of his accent and background. He would give these patients their treatment plan, but they would go to someone else for a second opinion – the local “American” doctor who grew up in Virginia. Ihab explains how it was funny because that doctor would usually say, “no, you need to go back to him [Ihab] – he’s the specialist!”

“They tried to run away from the Middle Eastern guy with an accent. Now a lot of those patients don’t want to see anyone but me!” (audio below)

When Ihab goes bow hunting in the countryside, he knows people look at him funny because of his appearance and accent. Today a lot of the locals know him as “The Jordanian.”

Above [right]: Ihab’s homemade venison sausage

“The more time I spend here, the more bond I feel I have with the locals.”

Ihab has faced discrimination in Iraq and Jordan, so when he was leaving for the United States, he was worried. However, the country surprised him. The US is the place where he feels most at home.

Daughter

Ihab didn’t plan on becoming a father when he did. At the time of his daughter’s birth, he wasn’t economically stable, and his marriage was already in trouble. He wasn’t sure he even wanted a child.

“To tell you the truth, my daughter is the best thing that ever happened in my life. She protected me from committing suicide. I had lots of pressure in my career and then the divorce. She is the only thing that makes me really happy.” (audio below)

Ihab has his daughter over every other weekend and for most of the summer.

“I wait so passionately for these days. This is my fun time. My daughter does everything I do – we bike together, we kayak together, we climb together. Being a father – I’m so blessed to be that guy. This little thing comes and isn’t planned and becomes the pleasure of your life.”

Father

Ihab hopes to set a good example for his daughter, like how his father did for him.

“My dad was my role model. He was always willing to help people. I just wanted to be like him.”

Ihab’s father came to visit him in Harrisonburg before he passed away in 2016.

“When I lost him, I was in Kenya on a mission trip. I was going to come back for his funeral, but if he were alive, he would have told me to go back and help people. This is what he would like me to do.” (audio below)

“This is a letter my dad sent me before he died. He asked me to open it after he died. He was writing his will. Every week I open and read it. ‘We are all going to die. Do good things and try to be good to family and your patients.’ He was a religious guy, so he wrote, ‘God will always take care of you.’” (audio below)

Travel

Ihab has traveled a lot. He has three passports filled with stamps.  

“Every stamp has a story.”

India is one place that continues to have a lasting impact on Ihab. Even though people have so little materially, they seemed happy. It was shocking. He returned to America, knowing that instead of buying luxury items, that money could feed people in need. He subsequently began to donate to those who are less fortunate, and he buys only what he needs.

 “India changed my lifestyle forever. I try not to be luxurious at all and try my best to remind those around me of this. I want to share this with his daughter.”

Future

Ihab is hopeful for the future. He used to be argumentative and willing to fight. Today, he believes if you speak softly, others will eventually understand you. In response to the current administration’s rhetoric towards Arabs and Muslims, many of Ihab’s patients have reached out with compassion to let Ihab know that they don’t believe what they hear from this administration about his people. They want Ihab to know that the president does not speak for them.

“Lots of immigrants don’t have a life anywhere other than here. They are more American than Americans themselves, because they don’t take it for granted. They are great assets for the American mosaic.”

“Regarding my future – the road is open. Sometimes I think about taking a few years off and going on medical missions. I don’t know what I’m going to do in my life. If I’m here in the US, I will help bridge the gap between the right and left of the aisle.”

Ihab says he doesn’t have many childhood friends because he didn’t live in one place long enough while growing up. This inability to stay put for long has continued into adulthood. Ihab has been in the US for a little over a decade and has already lived in four different states.  

“I am living like a modern bedouin. I get bored and always find an excuse to move. I’m not sure how long I’ll stay in Virginia, but I’m definitely enjoying my life. There is lots of goodness in the people here. They try to be good neighbors.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love (and passion). If you would like to support the project’s continuation it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Dam’s Immigration Story – Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam to Seneca, South Carolina

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Vietnam

One of Dam’s most distinct memories from Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) is riding on a motorbike with his dad to go and get a chocolate treat. Dam’s father was a farmer, and they lived on a plantation, where they had tropical fruits like durians, mangosteens, and pomelos. (audio below)

Dam’s mother was a housewife but worked as a nurse informally in the community. When Dam was only a few years old, his mom and dad divorced.

Dam’s maternal grandfather studied Political Science in Washington DC in the late 1960s. He returned to Vietnam to work for the Vietnamese government. After the Vietnam War, because of his previous political involvement, he was put in jail for five years by the communist government. When Dam’s grandfather finally escaped, he made his way to the United States through Thailand and the Philippines. Once in the US and settled, he sponsored his wife, his daughter (Dam’s mother) and her two boys (Dam and his brother) to come to Maryland in 1992.

Maryland

Dam was five years old when he arrived in the United States. He remembers that first plane ride and saying goodbye to his grandmother. 

“I knew that once we boarded that plane, something would be different.”

It was fall in Montgomery County, Maryland, and extremely cold.

“On the first day of school, I didn’t know an ounce of English, and I wanted to use the restroom. I was looking around, and I didn’t know how to ask. I was trying to tell them in Vietnamese, and no one understood, so I just peed myself right there on the first day. It was embarrassing.” (audio below)

Dam’s first friends in Maryland were the five other students in his ESL (English as a Second Language) class. After arriving in America, his mom did different odd jobs. She was a server at a Vietnamese Pho restaurant for a while; then, she got her nail technician license, a skill she already had learned in Vietnam. With her new husband, whom she had met in the US, she bought a nail salon. Dam’s mother missed Vietnam, but she knew the opportunities were better in America.

“In Vietnam we have a poor country. You work hard, but you cannot make enough money to survive [crying].” (audio below)

Broken

Dam’s mom has a lot of regrets about how things went after moving to the United States. It was her second marriage that she thinks broke her family apart. Dam suffered physical abuse at the hands of his stepfather, and that’s why Dam had to enter the foster care system. Remembering this breaks his mother’s heart.

“He told me every day he cried because he missed me.” (audio below)

From the age of 14 to 21, Dam was in foster care. He attended four different high schools and lived in many group homes and foster homes. After being emancipated at 21, he returned to live with his mom, and they are still working out their issues.

“It was hard. I limited my mom’s visits, ’cause I was upset with her for a while. I’ve been going to therapy.”

Heading South

Dam’s mom never fully adjusted to Maryland’s winters, remarking that “the wind goes through your bones.” She had some friends in South Carolina who kept encouraging her to move south. Dam’s mom couldn’t move though because she needed to be in Maryland to care for her parents. After they passed, she decided to give South Carolina a try. Dam’s mom moved her life to Seneca in 2016.

When she headed south, Dam remained in Maryland, where he was working and studying. Then he had a car accident, which resulted in a herniated disc, and he was dealing with some mental health issues. Dam had no support in Maryland, so he decided to pack everything up and move down to South Carolina to be with his mom. 

Since moving to Seneca, Dam started doing an online university degree, he is helping his mom with her all of the paperwork for her nail salon, and he is working as a sales associate at the Dollar General. He likes working there because he gets to talk to people from all walks of life.

Dam has always found it difficult making friends and has only made a couple so far in South Carolina.

“I have a hard time making friends due to the walls that I put up. It’s hard trusting people for me because of my time in foster care.”

Volunteering

Shortly after moving to Seneca, Dam started volunteering at the local retirement residence.

“I volunteer here because the residents remind me of my grandparents. I like helping the elderly. It’s sad sometimes, how their kids leave them here, but that is why I have come here to cheer them up.”

Dam has developed a special friendship with many of the residents as well as with the volunteer coordinator Jenna, who appreciates Dam’s help and feels like she has known him for years. (audio below)

Jenna says the residents appreciate how spunky and personable Dam is, and his “very caring heart.” Dam decorated the mantle in the common room, and he has gained a reputation for his Gangnam Style dance moves. The home’s morale is elevated by the presence of people like Dam and Jenna. One of the residents remarked:

“We like where we live. If we didn’t, we’d get the hell out of here!” (audio below)

The South

Dam has noticed how things are different than in Maryland. The people in the South are more direct, life moves at a slower pace, and things are cheaper.

“People are nicer here and want to help you out. They have a nice fakeness. People say hi to you here, while in the northern states, they don’t care.”

He has also noticed the different role religion plays in the “bible belt”. Dam grew up Catholic, has tried being a Methodist, and a Baptist, and now he is a part of a non-denominational church.

“A friend downstairs invited me to his church. I went there, and all of a sudden, I felt the holy spirit and got baptized again. I actually felt it, the first time I got baptized I did it for my family, but this time it was for me.” (audio below)

Most people Dam encounters in Seneca – a town of a little over 8000 people – assume he is Spanish-speaking.

“I’ve had people come up to me and speak Spanish. They just assume. ‘Are you Guatemalan or Honduran?’ They think I am everything but Asian.”

Still, Dam stays connected to his Vietnamese roots. For the holidays, he wears this ozai [see the above photo], and he and his mother make Vietnamese food all the time. His specialties are sweet/sour fish soup, and pho, but the ingredients are hard to find since there aren’t any Asian markets nearby.

Nails

Dam’s mom bought a nail salon inside Seneca’s Walmart and Dam does all of her paperwork and taxes since she still struggles with the language.

 “I have been doing nails since I came here to the United States. I learned first in my country. My dad told me to learn how to do nails as it was the fastest way to make money, survive, and be independent.”

Dam’s mom has three sons, and she is proud that her youngest is in the Navy. She was excited to have him home for Thanksgiving.

Mom’s Boyfriend

Dam’s mom has found a new boyfriend named Jerry. Dam says he is her “sugar daddy” because he pays for everything. He also says Jerry looks like Colonel Custer from the Civil War but he would never tell him that.

Jerry is a retired Vietnam Vet and a South Carolina local. He has always felt connected to Vietnam and the Vietnamese people.

“I left Vietnam, but it never left me.”

Jerry would walk over to Walmart every morning just for something to do. He noticed Dam’s mom in her nail salon and pursued her.

 “I was married when I went to Vietnam. When I came back, my wife had three or four boyfriends. I stayed single all these years. I had a massive heart attack, retired and the veteran’s administration takes care of me now. I’m sure grateful for everything. You can see what the attraction was – big big hugs! How can I not come to visit her every day? Looking at her – that’s easy!” (audio below)

Dam’s mom works so hard most days from nine in the morning to nine at night, so it is impossible for her to meet anyone to date. Luckily she met Jerry, who she calls “honey” because he is so sweet

“Dam says he is a ‘sugar daddy’; I said he is a miracle. God sent somebody to help me. ”

Although they have only known each other for months, Jerry says he was looking for her for 50 years. (audio below)

Future

Dam’s mom is still worried about her son’s physical and mental health, knowing that he has been through a lot. Dam found this place up in the mountains in Westminster called Chatuga Bell Farm with a beautiful view that he likes to go to clear his mind and relax.

“As a kid, you have your castle or your treehouse. This is my treehouse – my solitude.” (audio below)

Dam plans to finish his bachelor’s degree online and maybe pursue postgraduate education. Whatever he does, or wherever he is, he wants to help students. Meanwhile, he is helping his mom with the bills and the paperwork for her nail salon.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love (and passion). If you would like to support the project’s continuation it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Asani’s Immigration Story – Vatra Dornei, Romania to Detroit, Michigan

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Romania

Vatra Dornei is a tourist town where people from all over Europe go skiing and enjoy winter. Asani was born there in 1990 – the same year communism in Romania ended. She grew up hearing her parents’ stories of waiting in line for bread and how their greatest joy had been listening to the radio. Asani considers her childhood “easy” as she never experienced the hardships her parents did. Her parents always made sure she and her brother went to school, no matter what.

“One winter the snow was so bad my mom couldn’t open the door. She had to dig a tunnel to get us out.” (audio below)

Above: Asani and her family on Oct 6, 1995 (audio below)

The Envelope

Asani’s mom was an agricultural engineer and professor and her dad was the only veterinarian in Vatra Dornei. They had a pretty good life there but they wanted a better future for their children and thought the US could provide that. Her dad had been dreaming about moving to America since high school. In 2000, when Asani was ten years old, her mom won the visa lottery. Asani remembers clearly the moment they found out the family was moving to America. The envelope arrived, her dad opened the letter, and her mom started crying. It was the culture back then for the mailman, also known as the “town drunk” to have a drink at every house where he delivered mail, so they were thankful the precious envelope even got to them!

“What we knew of America was it is this amazing country with the Golden Gate Bridge, and everyone there is rich!”

The family sold all their belongings and had lots of goodbye parties. At the time, Asani was too young to understand how life-changing this move would be.

“I didn’t realize what moving was and that I would be away from the rest of my family for the rest of my life.” (audio below)

Adjusting

The family moved from a comfortable lifestyle in Romania, where they were always having parties and socializing – to San Francisco, where they didn’t have money, friends, couldn’t speak the language, and their academic qualifications weren’t convertible. Both of Asani’s parents were always working two or three jobs. 

For Asani, it was fun at first being in this new place, but they didn’t speak English. For the first three months, she and her brother stayed home with a “Romanian to English” dictionary, English language cartoons, and their parents’ encouragement. She remembers the massive playground down the street, which was exciting since they didn’t have one in Vatra Dornei. When Asani took an exam so the school could figure out which grade to place her in, they bumped her up a year. She never had a single ESL (English as a Second Language) class! She remembers the day she couldn’t recall a simple Romanian word.

“I couldn’t think of how to say ‘bread’ in Romanian. That was a shocking moment.”

Michigan

After one year of trying to make ends meet in California, the family decided to drive across the country to Michigan, which has the largest population of Romanians outside of Romania. They knew they had friends there and her parents were searching, trying to get the life back that they had in Romania. (audio below)

Life didn’t get much more comfortable when they moved to Michigan. Her parents worked at a factory making car parts, pressing buttons working seven days a week.

“Our parents would be gone. We would wake up by ourselves, make food for dinner, do our homework. They would come home at 10 pm. Sundays, they worked half days, and that was the only day we saw our parents. For a little while, my little brother and I had to raise ourselves.”

Identity

Asani’s legal name is Alexandra, but her older brother, who was a toddler at the time, called her “Asani” when they were heading home from the hospital. (audio below)

Asani picked up English fast and found herself regularly translating for her parents. She remembers moments when her parents didn’t understand something, and people would laugh at them. She came to believe that being Romanian wasn’t a good thing. 

“I was embarrassed that I was from another country and didn’t want people to know. I didn’t want people to call me Asani, so I would tell them Alex is fine”.

Eventually, Asani became very proud to be from Romania.

“If you ask anyone from my dental school about me, the first thing they would say is ‘Asani is Romanian.’” (audio below)

Perfect Smiles

One of the first things Asani noticed about Americans was their perfect smiles. 

“Everyone had straight teeth, no-gap, perfect smiles. I had a gap – a really big gap when I was a young girl. I thought all these American people would know I was different because of my gap.”

Asani remembers covering her face and trying to avoid talking to Americans. She would dream of one day having that “American smile,” and this led to her dream of being a dentist. Before moving to America, she always thought she would be a veterinarian like her father. 

“Moving to America led me to the career I am choosing. I got into dental school, and I am fixing my smile. After going through what I went through, I don’t want people to be unhappy with their teeth.” (audio below)

Happiness

Her dad now works for the University of Michigan’s animal research center, and her mom works for the Engineering Library, maintaining the collection. Asani knows that her parents didn’t have the life they expected to have in the US. Asani’s dad seems to like the US more and more. After each visit back to Romania, he is happier he left. Asani feels like her mom can never feel happiness in America because her extended family is still in Romania. Her mother always said, “We are never truly happy unless we are in Romania.”

Asani thinks her mom feels guilt for any happy moments she has in America because her family isn’t here. The majority of the family in Romania live day-to-day, and her parents continually send remittances to Romania. Asani hopes one day the rest of the family can come to America too.

“Everything I do is so I can eventually bring my mom and dad happiness.” (audio below)

Asani wants to make sure that she repays her parents for all they have done for her. She knows how much they sacrificed for her and her brother to have a better future. Even now, when she visits home, her mom always tries to give her 20 dollars, since she knows Asani is living off of student loans. Asani promises her that when she is a dentist, she will pay her back. 

“I can’t wait for the day when I have the money, and I can take my mom and all her sisters to Santorini or something and treat them all like goddesses.” (audio below)

Since moving to the US, Asani has moved 19 times and moved to the city of Detroit when she started dental school in 2015. Asani says a lot of people look down on Detroit, but to her it is home. She loves how new restaurants and murals are popping up all the time, and she’s never felt unsafe. She especially adores Belle Isle, where she runs regularly.

Future

If Asani has a child, she doesn’t want them to feel torn like she has – between America and Romania. She wants them to have a place they call home.

Every weekend growing up, Asani’s family would go hiking in the mountains. Like her and her ancestors, when Asani has children, she needs them to have this experience, to know nature and the mountains. (audio below)

Michigan doesn’t have mountains, but when she visited Washington State, it felt more like Romania. Maybe someday Asani will move out west.

*Update: Since the interview, Asani has moved to North Carolina, where she is practicing as a dentist. Asani is also going to be getting married soon to the love of her life, with one ceremony in Vatra Dornei and one in the United States.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Riho’s Immigration Story – Tokyo, Japan to Elk Point, South Dakota

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Childhood

Riho grew up in a quieter part of Tokyo, riding bicycles, running, hiking, and doesn’t consider herself a “city girl.” 

When Riho was ten years old, her parents divorced. Her mother, who works in landscaping, raised Riho and her two siblings. Before the divorce, she thought her mother was weak, but afterward, she realized how strong her mother is.

“I respect her so much. She is the best mom ever.”

Riho went to university in Japan to study childcare. She had been volunteering at a nursery since she was ten years old, so it made sense to study something with which she was familiar. After graduating from university, instead of working in childcare, she accepted an office job, which she quickly realized she wasn’t going to enjoy. 

English

When her sister went to the United States to study English, Riho’s mom encouraged her to do the same. Riho wanted a change so this seemed like a great opportunity. In 2017 she came to Hawaii to study English at an international language school. She loved how her fellow students were from so many different countries. Riho also loved Hawaii’s warmth, the beaches, shopping malls, and art. She couldn’t believe how many Japanese tourists there were in Hawaii.

Meeting Steven

It was in Hawaii where Riho unexpectedly met her future husband, Steven, who had only been out of the Marines for a couple of years. Steven had returned to Hawaii for a vacation, a place where he was stationed as a Marine. He was looking for people to hang out with while his friends were working and connected with Riho online. Riho was looking for a friend with whom to practice her English skills.

Steven was worried that Riho might hate that he had been in the military and had served in Okinawa, Japan. That wasn’t the case. When they met, Riho felt that there was something special about Steven. Even though she was still struggling with English, she was impressed that he understood her. (audio below)

After that first meeting, they hung out every day until Steven had to return to South Dakota. 

Before Steven left, he told Riho that if she wanted to, he would like to make this relationship work. From that day on, they texted and called each other every day. Two months later, he asked Riho to come to live with him in Elk Point. He told her how there was a University where she could continue her studies in English. Riho asked her mom if she could go.

“My mom was surprised but said, ‘if you want to go, you should go.’ I don’t have regrets. I came here for him.”

South Dakota

Steven tried to warn Riho about how cold it can be in South Dakota compared to Hawaii. But when she arrived on Christmas day 2017, it was snowing, and much colder than she was prepared for. (audio below)

“The first week we just spent inside as I adjusted to the cold. I missed Japanese food so much. Steven only has pizza, chicken, and super American food. I need rice! The first month was super hard for me regarding food. We worked out how to get Japanese food. Now almost every day, I cook Japanese food for him. I get it online.” (audio below)

The closest sushi restaurant is in Sioux Falls, which is about an hour’s drive from Elk Point and the nearest store to buy Asian groceries is two hours away.

Riho continues to study English at a nearby university. There are only two other students in her class: one from Korea and one from China. Elk Point is in South Dakota, but only five minutes from the border of Iowa. Riho describes it as having a big sky, lots of farms, a few houses, lots of cornfields, and is a place where everyone knows each other.

“If a car drives by, everyone says hi.”

Steven describes the area as rolling plains where you can experience four seasons in one day.

“Just about everyone is nice and respectful. Lots of outdoor partying, four wheeling, and fishing. That basically sums it up.”

Steven’s family home is on a corn farm, and he works on another corn farm. 

Marriage

After arriving in South Dakota, they were trying to figure out how Riho could stay in the United States. She thought about going back to Japan, and maybe they could see each other a few times a year. But they didn’t want to be physically apart. The options seemed to be either she finds a job, gets into a school, or they get married. They chose to get married. Steven is a quiet person, and Riho says a lot of his friends didn’t even know they got married. 

Overall she has found the people in South Dakota she has met to be friendly.

“People look at me – ‘oh, she’s Asian! She’s Japanese; it’s so cool!’ Everyone asks me where I am from and how I find South Dakota? It’s not difficult to fit in here.” (audio below)

Steven was worried about what his mother would think of their relationship, but when he told her they were getting married, she was happy for him. His mom picks up Riho in the morning and drives her to the university for her classes.

It is hard for Steven to communicate with Riho’s family. He doesn’t speak Japanese, and they don’t speak English.

“I’m teaching him Japanese, but he only remembers crazy words!”

Typical Day

On a typical day, when Riho isn’t in school, she wakes up Steven at 5:45 in the morning so he can leave for work. She then goes back to sleep and wakes up around ten. She spends much of the day outside in the garden, and feeding and walking the animals. (audio below)

Because she doesn’t have a car, Riho cannot go anywhere, so she spends the rest of her day listening to music, playing with the cats, or playing the piano.

Steven says it feels like they have been together for longer than they have. He’s been a lot busier with her around, which he says isn’t a bad thing. There are many things Steven loves about Riho.

“Her smile, laugh, she doesn’t think about it, but every time I see her makeup on or off, she looks like a princess or queen to me. More beautiful than anyone I’ve seen. She makes my life a lot easier. She keeps me a lot more calm than I used to be.” (audio below)

Future

They haven’t had an actual wedding yet, but are hoping to have one soon. Steven plans on going to university so that he can be a better provider in the future. He is paying off debt and wants to get a new, more reliable car. He jokes how his current car usually has three different parts break every single day. 

They are currently renting a home from Steven’s brother and dream of owning their own home in South Dakota. They are looking forward to getting the “immigration thing” over with, as it has been a strain. After Riho receives her green card, she will be able to get a job. She knows her childcare qualifications won’t be recognized here, and she doesn’t want to study for another degree, so she isn’t sure what she will do. Someday Steven would like to visit Riho’s family in Japan.

“I like being here. Since moving to Hawaii, I haven’t wanted to go back to Japan. Here everyone doesn’t care about time. In Japan, everyone cares about the time. I can’t be in Japan anymore because time is so fast”. (audio below)

*Update: Since the interview, Riho and Steven did have a wedding at the farm, and they moved to Missouri so Steven can study Engineering. Riho is still waiting on her green card.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Mukesha’s Immigration Story – Kigali, Rwanda to Louisville, Kentucky

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Rwanda

“I don’t know anything about my hometown Kigali, Rwanda, besides the stories I have heard from my parents. I have no connection to Rwanda besides the blood that is flowing through my veins and the language I share with my parents. Rwanda is the country on every document that I have.” (audio below)

Mukesha’s parents have told her stories of what it was like before the genocide, what their childhoods were like – playing under the trees, watching the stars at night – stories of joy. Once the genocide started, the stories are sad – running away and being torn from family.

Her parents are reluctant to talk about Rwanda; it is a reminder of how much they have lost.

Above: Mukesha’s pre-school graduation shortly after moving to South Africa

South Africa

In Rwanda, her parents had good jobs and were living comfortably as middle-class citizens. When they arrived in South Africa in 1998 as asylum seekers when Mukesha was six, they couldn’t enter the formal labor market. Her parents ended up doing odd jobs to put food on their table. Mukesha is grateful for all the sacrifices her parents have made.

A diverse place, Mukesha is happy to have grown up in Durban. Still, as she aged, she became more and more aware of being a “foreigner”: bringing a different lunch to school and braiding her hair differently from others. She remembers in sixth grade getting called “ kwerekwere” – a derogatory term to describe foreigners. To fit in, Mukesha found herself drawn towards friends who were South African, and avoiding kids, who like herself, were from other parts of Africa. (audio below)

Life was callous for those who weren’t South African.

Above: Mukesha’s First Holy Communion

Dreamer

Mukesha’s faith has played a pivotal role in her development.

 “We didn’t have much in South Africa, but we had our faith. We would say the family prayer together. I remember thanking God for braces before I could afford them.” 

Mukesha says she has always been a dreamer. “I was kind of delusional, to be honest.” She wanted to become a teacher, a profession she started pretending to do very early on in her life.

“I used to teach math to dolls with missing arms, and teddy bears with missing eyes.”

Her mom told her that teachers don’t get paid much, and that ended that dream. When it came time for university, Law was her first choice. Her parents explained to her how nobody would hire her as a lawyer in South Africa since she was a foreigner. Instead, her parents wanted her to be a doctor or nurse, as it wouldn’t matter if she were a “foreigner.”

Her second choice was a degree in Media Communications and Business Management, which is what she ended up studying. She had grown up watching and wanting to be like Oprah, so working in the media seemed exciting. (audio below)

Resettlement

The “xenophobic attacks” that swept South Africa were the catalyst to her family, starting the resettlement process in 2008. Mukesha describes how these attacks began as some people making fun of “foreigners,” and escalated to people like her being burned alive. She remembers all five of them being in a room presenting their story to a UNHCR (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees) caseworker. Mukesha was 15 at the time, and what her parents said surprised her. She didn’t know the struggles her parents had been having – how hard it was to be a Rwandese adult in South Africa. 

“I felt like I had been in the dark all my life. OMG this is what they go through every single day in taxis, at work, on the bus.”

The family did these interviews several times; then, they separated them to do individual interviews to make sure their stories matched up. It felt unnecessary, and Mukesha felt like it was “reinforcing trauma.”  Her family waited in a state of limbo – hoping to get the word. She would go to school to write a test and think ‘should I study for this if I am going to America tomorrow?’ It wasn’t easy for her to finish college with so much going on in the background. They waited for six years. Finally, in 2014, the same day Mukesha graduated college, they found out that they had 48 hours to pack and be ready to leave for the United States.

“I should be celebrating. I am getting this thing I always wanted, but what about my friends? How do I say goodbye? It all just happened so quickly.” (audio below)

Hillbillies

Before boarding the plane, their caseworker handed them their resettlement package, and said, “Oh, by the way, your family is going to Kentucky.” Mukesha had never heard of Kentucky. She had heard of Los Angeles or New York, but not Kentucky. Mukesha googled Kentucky on her phone, and all she saw was farms, farmers, and the term ‘hillbillies’ came up, which she didn’t understand. This surprised and angered her. The address on their resettlement package was for the resettlement agency (Catholic Charities) but Mukesha thought that was where they were going to be living. When she googled the address, it was a church!

“I was like, ‘Mom; they are taking us to a church!’ I was already mad that we were coming to Kentucky, and now we were going to be living in church! My mom said the novena like ten times and the rosary, ‘God, hopefully, we are not going to a church’. I was freaking out. This is America; I’m expecting big things! As we are landing, we start to see bridges and houses, and I was like, ‘Oh, this is actually a city.’” (audio below)

Arrival

Mukesha had never been on a plane – especially one landing in a snowstorm. After arriving in Kentucky, the person who picked them up spoke to them in a “deep Swahili accent,” which Mukesha thought was funny since her family can speak English. Another volunteer warned them that the neighborhood they were moving into wasn’t the best. 

“It’s important to remember perspective – you can only see what you see based on where you are standing. For me, it seemed like a nice apartment with three bedrooms! I can share a room with my sister, and my room has a door that you can close! The fridge was stocked, we had vouchers, and we ate as a family for the first time in years.” (audio below)

Shock

For the first two weeks in Kentucky, they stayed inside their new apartment. The one thing they noticed right away was that there weren’t a lot of people around.

 “Where are the people? In Africa you see people walking around. People in America don’t walk. We started to feel nostalgic for the whole community vibe.”

That first trip to the supermarket overwhelmed Mukesha and she found herself asking: “Why do we need two aisles for cereal?” (audio below)

Another shock was when Mukesha’s family took the bus to their ESL (English as a Second Language) classes.

“That is where I saw the racial divide. The people on the bus looked like they were struggling. They were no different than the people I had seen in South Africa. This was not something that I ever expected to see here. The places the bus was driving through looked really bad.” (audio below)

Her family discussed their collective shock after taking the bus that first time. They were so confused by how this level of inequality and poverty could exist in America. In contrast, the church the white woman invited them to, used a bible made out of gold.

“The entire church, besides our family, was caucasian. They drove proper luxury cars! The neighborhood where the church is is very different from where the ESL classes are. This is when the divide hit me the first time. What’s happening here mirrored South Africa. Even though this is the country that everyone looks up to, it is not all roses and butterflies.” (audio below)

Amazon

Mukesha’s first job was at an Amazon warehouse, dealing with customer returns.

“When I got my first paycheck, I almost lost it.”

When she mentally converted the money to South African Rand, it was a lot, and this motivated her. This money meant she could finally get the braces she prayed for. Mukesha liked her manager and the job, but there was a lot of negative energy coming from the people she worked with. They complained a lot and thought her positivity was strange. She could feel the negativity rubbing off on her. The question she had for her fellow employees was, “If you don’t like the job, why don’t you leave it?” Now she realizes it isn’t easy to leave a job if you have bills and dependents. This job taught her a lot and it allowed Mukesha to be able to meet a lot of American veterans. She couldn’t believe the hardships they faced, after sacrificing so much for the country.

 “I had always wanted to meet an American veteran. Why would people who served the country come back and not be helped?”

A lot of people she worked with didn’t know any black people or any Africans. A coworker in their 40s asked her if she had a pet giraffe. An older white male coworker, who she considered a friend, told her how “paying taxes sucks.” When she asked why, he said, “Us Americans, we pay taxes to bring people like you here.” These comments frustrated Mukesha – she was paying taxes too, and her family had to pay back the money received for the flight to America.  (audio below)

Storytelling

Mukesha hopes that by sharing her story she can help the youth be more informed. It is for this reason that she has seized every opportunity to speak publicly about her experience as a refugee.

Above: Mukesha sharing her story with a group of middle-grade students

Many of the students she has shared her story with have written her letters that she has kept. One note from a student named Jordan says: “I have a completely different outlook on refugees now”. (audio below)

“Every time I’m feeling discouraged I read these letters for a reminder of how great life is.”

Crossroads Ministry

In 2016 Mukesha started working at the Crossroads Ministry – a retreat center where privileged students come to have relationship-building opportunities with marginalized people in overlooked places. Mukesha’s job is to lead these students as they visit agencies where they can connect and find commonalities with people different than themselves – whether it is a refugee, or an elderly person, or someone with substance abuse issues. The most important thing is that these students identify that this person they are connecting with is a person first before being a refugee or female or Somalian or an alcoholic. Mukesha hopes to plant seeds that change perspectives on preconceived notions and show these students, that we must understand the complexity of everyone, and avoid believing there is a single story. (audio below)

“I remind the students that this won’t be the last time you are at a crossroads with someone who has been marginalized. What do you want to do? No one is voiceless – some people’s voices aren’t being listened to. I tell students to be the voice that will amplify.”

Future

Mukesha regrets how she and her siblings used to complain to their parents about the life they had growing up. She knows now how much they gave up for them. Mukesha is happy that her parents aren’t merely trying to survive today. She knows that they don’t have their ideal jobs, but they do have a home and a car, and they are safe. In the future, Mukesha would like to pursue a college degree in the USA, since employers in the US don’t recognize her degree from South Africa. She dreams of making a film or writing a book about “third culture kids”.

“Besides the stuff that is on the surface, there is so much more. When you are a young refugee, growing up in a culture that is not yours, you are sometimes delusional to reality because your parents shelter you. I want to write a book about the difficulties of being a ‘third culture kid’. I want to explore the trauma of being a young kid, moving from one culture to another and how it affects you into adulthood.”

Other than that she wouldn’t mind becoming “rich and famous”!

Amplified Voices

Mukesha wants to continue trying to amplify the voices of people being persecuted and advocating for Louisville, and Kentucky at large, to be welcoming to refugees and immigrants [see the above photo of her discussing this with the mayor of Lousiville]. 

“I want to be the voice that is going to amplify the voice of that refugee girl sitting in a refugee camp, thinking she is never going to leave. Your circumstances don’t necessarily determine your future.”

*Update: Since the interview, Mukesha decided to take the leap of faith and go back to university as a full-time student. She is currently pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Organizational Leadership and Learning at U of Louisville. She is still at Crossroads Ministry, but as a part-time retreat associate, so she can focus on her academics.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Elke’s Immigration Story – Vellberg, Germany to Mineral Bluff, Georgia

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Childhood

Elke grew up on a farm outside the town of Vellberg, Germany, where she remembers working hard as a child. Every day after school, she would come home and help feed the animals. While her father always wanted a boy, he ended up with four girls. From an early age, Elke dreamed of finding a husband and having children. (audio below)

Elke says, like most Germans, she traveled a lot. She explains how, in the US, someone may go from Alabama to Florida, while in Germany within a similar distance, you would go to France or Austria. Whenever she had extra money, she would travel through Europe by train. 

Costa Rica

In 1989, Elke decided to take her biggest trip yet –  a three-month solo adventure to Costa Rica. After a month, she was on the bus when she met an American named Tom, who was living in Costa Rica. He owned horses, and Elke wanted to buy one.

When Tom went to Costa Rica, he didn’t plan on returning to the USA. To make a living, Tom first improvised by making fresh orange juice and selling it to tourists. This business didn’t last long as he was picked up by the authorities and taken to jail. While he was in prison, he was befriended by one of the officers, who would later become the head of immigration and eventually helped Elke and Tom escape from Costa Rica.

Above: Tom with one of his horses in Costa Rica.

Romance

After being released from detention, Tom bought horses and started his own business – an off the grid tourist resort of sorts. Elke rented a horse from Tom a few times, and then they went on a “real date.” Tom reflects:

“We walked down to the next town, Cabuya, to eat at a little bitty restaurant with just two or three tables – and had a great meal. This was after swimming in a beautiful little river there with Rio Lajas coming out of Cabo Blanco – we made out for the first time, then we had that great meal. On the way back, we stopped along the road. Do you know that Beatles song ‘Do it in the road’? Well, we did ‘it’ in the road!” (audio below)

Above: Tom describes this photo of Elke riding her horse as his “favorite picture.”

When Elke went back to Germany, it only took her one month to pack all her things and return to Costa Rica, and Tom. He was surprised when she came back, justifying it by saying [while laughing] “Elke came back for the horse.” (audio below)

They spent almost three years living together in Costa Rica before they had to leave. 

“Living in Costa Rica was wild – like living in a movie. It was a constant struggle for survival, but you were living.”

They had the ocean and were meeting people from all over the world at the tourist resort they were running. They had little palm houses people could stay in and 40 horses.

Drugs

“We did a lot of drugs in Costa Rica. It was very cheap, and we abused it. I believe that if I had stayed away from drugs down there, I would still be there.” 

The neighbors reported Elke and Tom to the Costa Rican authorities for being cocaine dealers [they were users, not dealers]. Tom remembers when two truckloads of men with machine guns showed up and shot up the farm.  

They had brought in a partner to help them manage the business, and he took advantage of the situation – without paying them for it, he essentially took control of the farm. They lost the property, and Tom was thrown in jail. Tom blames his drug use for his inability to stand up to this partner and maintain the business.

 “I think it is just right that when you are doing that much drugs, you end up losing everything. When you screw up, life will punish you”. (audio below)

“My passport shows that I’m still in Costa Rica. I got out of the country and never looked back.”

United States

With Elke being seven months pregnant, they escaped Costa Rica. With the help of the head of immigration who Tom knew from his previous detention, and made their way to Orlando, Florida. Destitute, without money or clothes, friends let them sleep on their couches. Over time they managed to move into a microbus, then to an apartment and finally a small house in Samford, Florida, which they purchased. They enrolled in college and, when finished, moved to Georgia, where their second child was born. 

Trout Shipping

In 2004, a man they met offered them his trout shipping business. They bought this business and continue to operate it while living in the Appalachian mountains. It is routine business, and they also ship apples now. Once they receive an order, they pick up the shipment and deliver it. Elke says all they need is a truck, which doubles as her office, and a cell phone.

Helping Strangers

Tom has a strong sense of empathy towards those in need, which can be attributed to his experience of hitting rock bottom while in Costa Rica. He remembers the people who helped them when they were in need and wants to do the same for others. 

Elke and Tom have hosted more than 800 people in their house over the years. It is usual for Tom when he is making his trout shipments to Atlanta, to invite people who are facing hardships up to their home in the Appalachian mountains. They host kids that were living on the street, couch surfers, hitchhikers, and they hosted a big group from the Occupy Movement. One older man brought scabies into their house, but they still love him. Tom says,

“I can see a little bit of me in every single person that comes here.”

They have hosted people who have committed all sorts of crime from armed robbery to murder – helping them all get on their feet after being in jail. Usually, they don’t have any problems, but on the rare occasion, they do. One guy pulled a knife [see the above photo] on Elke, which she confiscated.

One young man they had taken in after he got out of jail told Tom he wanted to shoot, so Tom set a bottle up as a target off the deck. The youth shot a whole magazine at the bottle and didn’t hit it. Tom fired one shot, hit the bottle dead on, then turned to this young man, looked him directly in the eyes and said:

“If you pull a gun on someone in Atlanta, and they are someone like me, you will die. Get out of this life of crime.” (audio below)

Family

One person who has been with them longer than most is Dana [see the photo below] – someone they say “fell through the cracks.” Dana has many health problems, no real family, and had lived on the streets while battling alcoholism. When they first took Dana in, they weaned him off alcohol, but he started having seizures. With Tom and Elke’s help, Dana was able to secure disability insurance. Dana couldn’t stay away from alcohol – and it was common for him to be arrested and then returned to Tom and Elke. For a while, Dana tried living with his brother but ended up getting kicked out, and once again, Tom found him living on the streets in Atlanta, and “just wanted to get him home.”

They have developed a real connection to Dana, and he has a permanent home in their basement. Elke gives him “two to three beers every day and a bottle of moonshine for his birthday, and he is as happy as a clam”. 

“Wherever we go, we take Dana. He’s family.”

Elke and Tom love having dogs, especially Great Danes. At one point, they had ten dogs, and seven of them were Great Danes. Now they only have two, Lluvia and Luna.

“We love big dogs. Every day with them is a blessing.”

German

Elke stays connected to Germany by reading German authors such as Herman Hesse, who is her favorite. Hesse was born ten miles from her hometown. Elke also keeps in touch with her German family over WhatsApp. She misses her mom’s cooking, especially the potato salad and the German beer, small towns, and little festivals. 

Elke regrets not teaching her children how to speak German. She felt like she was too busy learning English to teach them, German. When Elke met Tom, she had five years of English language education from Germany. Despite this, Elke says she could barely speak the language.

Elke doesn’t have any German friends in the US, but some of her friends from Germany have visited. One time she had friends from Germany visiting, which resulted in a bullet hole through their kitchen window [see the above photo].

“We had a great time here together. My friend, her husband, and I were upstairs printing off a ticket. Tom was sitting on the computer dry firing. For some reason, there was a bullet in the gun. It went boom – Tom fired off a shot. It was quite an event! ”

Tom jokes:

“I’m famous in Germany now! We haven’t had any Germans come back.” (audio below)

Elke and Tom love living in Georgia – although Elke believes that it doesn’t matter where you live in the US, you can meet friendly people.

 “Georgia is beautiful. We have a really good life here.”

Living Well

Despite no longer partying the way they did in Costa Rica, Elke and Tom are still extraordinarily social and love entertaining. They had 150 people over to their cabin to watch the eclipse and even hired a mariachi band for the occasion. They’ve been married for more than a quarter-century, and according to Tom, he does whatever she tells him to do. (audio below)

Within the next decade, they plan to sell their trout business and build tiny homes to house tourists on their property. They see this enterprise as a way to continue hosting and interacting with diverse people while living up in the Appalachian Mountains of Georgia.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.