Joel’s Immigration Story – Nuku’alofa, Tonga to Salt Lake City, Utah

Village Life

Joel grew up in a family of 12 children in a small village in Tonga – one of the smallest island countries in the world, with a population of a little over 100,000 people. In the entire village, there wasn’t a single car, so everyone got around by walking or horse and buggy. Joel would often fetch water from the village’s only well; there was usually a long line. He showered at the beach and washed off the salt using rainwater collected from the roof. Joel doesn’t remember wearing shoes until he left the island at age 15. 

“I only had one pair of shorts, and we had to wash them every few days. We didn’t have a washing machine. I was the washing machine!”

Above: Lorraine Morton Ashton, an American missionary of the Mormon Church, compiled thousands of photographs for her book “Pictures of Tonga, 1936-1958.” She took the only picture Joel has of himself as a child. Joel’s grandson is holding the book.

Responsibility

Joel’s mom stayed at home to care for her 12 children. It wasn’t easy to make sure everyone had something to eat. Despite his family’s lack of money, Joel had a lot of fun as a child and doesn’t remember having many worries. He had never been anywhere else, so he didn’t know that he had less materially than many other children outside of Tonga. In their home, Joel’s seven sisters got the beds, and the five boys all slept on the floor. The children had a lot of responsibility from a young age, which included farming and many chores. (audio below)

Faith

Joel and his siblings had a religious upbringing.

“The people on the island are very religious. Sunday is the day of rest. It’s the law of the land. In Tonga, religion was so important.”

Audio: The corn shell [see the photo above] is an ancient way of communicating in Tonga, from calling children in for dinner to a call for war.

Joel’s father taught band and choir at an American school connected to the Mormon Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He made sure all 13 of his children could play an instrument. Joel learned the trumpet and has fond memories of the whole family caroling around the community at Christmas. Even though Joel’s father was a leader in the Mormon Church, he was often invited by the other denominations to come and compose music for their services. Joel has fond memories of riding on the back of his father’s horse to visit the other churches. 

“My dad was serving other churches but never getting paid with money, just by food. I always liked to go with him because they would feed us well.” (audio below)

Outside of the Island

Joel grew up hearing regularly of Tongans leaving for America. His father originally came to the United States because of a calling in the Mormon Church. 

“When he came back home, he was telling us about the freeways, lanes, and cars everywhere. He brought home all these second-hand jackets, and even though it is so hot, we were wearing them around and perspiring just because they came from America.” (audio below)

In Tonga at the time, high school was the highest level available, and Joel wanted a post-secondary education. He had a brother and sister already studying at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Hawaii, so he decided to join them there in 1970 to finish high school. Before arriving, Joel stopped in American Samoa to visit a sister. That was the first time in his life that he watched television.

“I was sitting right in front of that thing because I was amazed. All we had growing up was the radio, and most people didn’t even have a radio. Then when I went to Hawaii, I got to use a toilet and didn’t need to walk to an outhouse anymore. The luxury of life was nice.” (audio below)

United States

Joel used to play rugby while growing up in Tonga, so in Hawaii, he decided to give American football a try. It took him two years of playing on special teams to learn the game, but once he did, he was really talented. Joel became a respected outside linebacker and defensive end. After Joel finished high school in Hawaii, he moved to California to attend Santa Monica College and then Cal State on football scholarships. Football became an essential part of his life, but now he lives with regrets and pain.

“I just liked the physicality of football. It is the Polynesian mentality to like physical sports. Now looking back, if I could do it again, I would probably play golf. I had a knee replacement, and I have been having surgery on it. My shoulders, my ankles, I am always hurting, and it’s all from football and rugby. I just kind of live with it.” (audio below)

Joel attended college for five years, but he never graduated with a degree. His parents moved to California to join him, but when they couldn’t find work, Joel dropped out to help them care for his five youngest siblings. He and his father worked as landscapers, so his siblings could attend school.  

Meeting Cindy

Joel thinks it was around this time in his life that he started making some wrong choices and grew disconnected from the church he had grown up attending. Then he met Cindy.

Cindy was born in Utah and living in California when she met Joel. Her father was teaching at a local College’s institute of religion, and Cindy was very religious. She regularly attended her father’s institute, where they had events for young single adults to learn more about the gospel. Joel’s sister also went there.

“I used to go pick up my sister, then I saw Cindy, and I thought ‘she is so beautiful.’”

Cindy went to a friend’s wedding, and Joel happened to be there, but as the entertainment. When Joel wasn’t playing football, he fire-danced and walked on fire with a Polynesian performance group. They were properly introduced at the wedding, and Joel made sure to get her number before it was over.

“Cindy was something special because she got me to go back to the church. I got away from the teachings of the church, and then I met her.” (audio below)

Moving to Utah

By this time, his siblings were older and were able to help his parents. Joel moved to Utah to be with Cindy.

Joel didn’t have a college degree, so he tried to find any work he could get. He had experience working with cement in Hawaii and California, so he did that, and at nights, he cleaned carpets and toilets. 

“Coming from an island and a big family, everyone worked hard; I always knew how to work. Even though I had to work two or three jobs, I was able to handle it. My family just kept growing, and the more it grew, the more I had to work. We ended up having eight children. I had to work all the time.”

American Dream

Joel got his general contractor’s license and started his own business almost three decades ago. Joel likes working for himself because he gets to decide how much he works. It’s a small family business now, with most of his eight children working for him. 

“It is the ‘American dream.’ We struggled along the way, but now I have time for anything I want to do. I don’t have to answer to anybody. Life is good. We aren’t rich or anything, but we are doing fine.”

Tongans in Utah

Joel thinks Utah is a great place to live and considers it home. All of Joel and Cindy’s children, except their eldest daughter, were born in Utah.

Today, more Tongans are living outside of the island of Tonga than in the country. In the 1950s and 60s, a lot of Tongans moved to Utah because of the Mormon Church. He likes how the church is service-oriented.

“It brings back the island mentality of everyone taking care of each other. The church expects you to be like that if you want to claim yourself as a good member of the church.”

The Tongan community in Salt Lake City gets together regularly for church services, funerals, and weddings. There are enough Tongans that they have their own wards within the Mormon Church. Despite this, Joel and his wife attend a predominantly white ward. Still, Joel tries to go to the Tongan meetings sometimes where they sing Tongan hymns, which he loves.

“It takes me home to listen to singing in our language.” (audio below)

“When I count in my heart, I count in Tongan. My wife said that when I talk in my sleep, I talk in Tongan. She doesn’t understand Tongan and always says, ‘Dang, I wish I knew what you were saying!’” (audio below)

Future

Cindy hopes she and Joel can retire and live the rest of their lives in good health, and able to enjoy time with their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Cindy jokes how they have eight children, and she knows at least three of them will take care of them when they are older. (audio below)

Joel hopes his eight children and 23 grandchildren continue to not have to struggle the way he did. He also hopes they can all be strong in the LDS Church so it can bless their lives. 

“I want to see all my children sealed in the temple of the church for this life and the next life. If we can all be sealed, we can all be together in the next life.”

Joel has never served a full-time mission with the LDS Church and dreams of doing one someday with Cindy. 

Above: This is the Temple in Provo, Utah where Joel and Cindy were “sealed for time and all eternity”.

Respect

Joel likes the respect that Tongans have for one another. Whenever you see a Tongan, whether you know them or not, you greet them. The typical expression of greeting is Mālō e lelei! (Thank you for being good). Joel continues to try to be a good person for his family and community in Utah.

“Your attitude about things will take you where you want to be. I’ve always been positive and don’t like to be around people who are negative.” 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Riho’s Immigration Story – Tokyo, Japan to Elk Point, South Dakota

Childhood

Riho grew up in a quieter part of Tokyo, riding bicycles, running, hiking, and doesn’t consider herself a “city girl.” 

When Riho was ten years old, her parents divorced. Her mother, who works in landscaping, raised Riho and her two siblings. Before the divorce, she thought her mother was weak, but afterward, she realized how strong her mother is.

“I respect her so much. She is the best mom ever.”

Riho went to university in Japan to study childcare. She had been volunteering at a nursery since she was ten years old, so it made sense to study something with which she was familiar. After graduating from university, instead of working in childcare, she accepted an office job, which she quickly realized she wasn’t going to enjoy. 

English

When her sister went to the United States to study English, Riho’s mom encouraged her to do the same. Riho wanted a change so this seemed like a great opportunity. In 2017 she came to Hawaii to study English at an international language school. She loved how her fellow students were from so many different countries. Riho also loved Hawaii’s warmth, the beaches, shopping malls, and art. She couldn’t believe how many Japanese tourists there were in Hawaii.

Meeting Steven

It was in Hawaii where Riho unexpectedly met her future husband, Steven, who had only been out of the Marines for a couple of years. Steven had returned to Hawaii for a vacation, a place where he was stationed as a Marine. He was looking for people to hang out with while his friends were working and connected with Riho online. Riho was looking for a friend with whom to practice her English skills.

Steven was worried that Riho might hate that he had been in the military and had served in Okinawa, Japan. That wasn’t the case. When they met, Riho felt that there was something special about Steven. Even though she was still struggling with English, she was impressed that he understood her. (audio below)

After that first meeting, they hung out every day until Steven had to return to South Dakota. 

Before Steven left, he told Riho that if she wanted to, he would like to make this relationship work. From that day on, they texted and called each other every day. Two months later, he asked Riho to come to live with him in Elk Point. He told her how there was a University where she could continue her studies in English. Riho asked her mom if she could go.

“My mom was surprised but said, ‘if you want to go, you should go.’ I don’t have regrets. I came here for him.”

South Dakota

Steven tried to warn Riho about how cold it can be in South Dakota compared to Hawaii. But when she arrived on Christmas day 2017, it was snowing, and much colder than she was prepared for. (audio below)

“The first week we just spent inside as I adjusted to the cold. I missed Japanese food so much. Steven only has pizza, chicken, and super American food. I need rice! The first month was super hard for me regarding food. We worked out how to get Japanese food. Now almost every day, I cook Japanese food for him. I get it online.” (audio below)

The closest sushi restaurant is in Sioux Falls, which is about an hour’s drive from Elk Point and the nearest store to buy Asian groceries is two hours away.

Riho continues to study English at a nearby university. There are only two other students in her class: one from Korea and one from China. Elk Point is in South Dakota, but only five minutes from the border of Iowa. Riho describes it as having a big sky, lots of farms, a few houses, lots of cornfields, and is a place where everyone knows each other.

“If a car drives by, everyone says hi.”

Steven describes the area as rolling plains where you can experience four seasons in one day.

“Just about everyone is nice and respectful. Lots of outdoor partying, four wheeling, and fishing. That basically sums it up.”

Steven’s family home is on a corn farm, and he works on another corn farm. 

Marriage

After arriving in South Dakota, they were trying to figure out how Riho could stay in the United States. She thought about going back to Japan, and maybe they could see each other a few times a year. But they didn’t want to be physically apart. The options seemed to be either she finds a job, gets into a school, or they get married. They chose to get married. Steven is a quiet person, and Riho says a lot of his friends didn’t even know they got married. 

Overall she has found the people in South Dakota she has met to be friendly.

“People look at me – ‘oh, she’s Asian! She’s Japanese; it’s so cool!’ Everyone asks me where I am from and how I find South Dakota? It’s not difficult to fit in here.” (audio below)

Steven was worried about what his mother would think of their relationship, but when he told her they were getting married, she was happy for him. His mom picks up Riho in the morning and drives her to the university for her classes.

It is hard for Steven to communicate with Riho’s family. He doesn’t speak Japanese, and they don’t speak English.

“I’m teaching him Japanese, but he only remembers crazy words!”

Typical Day

On a typical day, when Riho isn’t in school, she wakes up Steven at 5:45 in the morning so he can leave for work. She then goes back to sleep and wakes up around ten. She spends much of the day outside in the garden, and feeding and walking the animals. (audio below)

Because she doesn’t have a car, Riho cannot go anywhere, so she spends the rest of her day listening to music, playing with the cats, or playing the piano.

Steven says it feels like they have been together for longer than they have. He’s been a lot busier with her around, which he says isn’t a bad thing. There are many things Steven loves about Riho.

“Her smile, laugh, she doesn’t think about it, but every time I see her makeup on or off, she looks like a princess or queen to me. More beautiful than anyone I’ve seen. She makes my life a lot easier. She keeps me a lot more calm than I used to be.” (audio below)

Future

They haven’t had an actual wedding yet, but are hoping to have one soon. Steven plans on going to university so that he can be a better provider in the future. He is paying off debt and wants to get a new, more reliable car. He jokes how his current car usually has three different parts break every single day. 

They are currently renting a home from Steven’s brother and dream of owning their own home in South Dakota. They are looking forward to getting the “immigration thing” over with, as it has been a strain. After Riho receives her green card, she will be able to get a job. She knows her childcare qualifications won’t be recognized here, and she doesn’t want to study for another degree, so she isn’t sure what she will do. Someday Steven would like to visit Riho’s family in Japan.

“I like being here. Since moving to Hawaii, I haven’t wanted to go back to Japan. Here everyone doesn’t care about time. In Japan, everyone cares about the time. I can’t be in Japan anymore because time is so fast”. (audio below)

*Update: Since the interview, Riho and Steven did have a wedding at the farm, and they moved to Missouri so Steven can study Engineering. Riho is still waiting on her green card.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.