immigration

Dhamarys’s Immigration Story – Luperon, the Dominican Republic to Providence, Rhode Island

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Dhamarys’s father came to the United States in 1981. He had been married before, and his daughter from his previous marriage helped him get a green card. He didn’t like the United States and ended up returning to the Dominican Republic in 1983. Dhamarys’s father has a total of 11 children, and four of them were with his second wife, Dhamarys’s mother.

Childhood

Dhamarys was born in Luperon, and when she was three months old, they moved to the capital, Santo Domingo. She had a happy childhood – one where “everybody in the neighborhood was like family.” She remembers how at Christmas time, they would cut the leaves off palm trees to make walls and close the street down to have a giant dance party. 

Above: Dhamarys [on the left] in the DR with her mother, three siblings and three cousins

United States

Dhamarys grew up dreaming of going to the United States, specifically New York. 

“Everybody wanted to go to New York. It was called New York, not the United States!” 

Dhamarys’s father always said he would never return to the US, but eventually, her mom convinced him otherwise and he left for New York City in 1984. He worked nonstop and it took three years before he completed the immigration process for Dhamarys’s mother and their four children. In 1987, when she was 19, Dhamarys, her mother, and her three younger siblings, all moved to the US. It wasn’t an ideal time. She was leaving her dog and a fiancé behind in the Dominican Republic. She was supposed to return for her marriage after three months, but that never happened. (audio below)

Above: Dhamarys’s Dominican voter ID photo, age 18

When her father was in the US without the rest of the family, he was working at New York City’s Four Seasons Hotel, working as a dishwasher. Before they joined him in the US, he decided that he didn’t want his children to grow up in NYC. Another dishwasher told Dhamarys’s father of a cousin in Rhode Island who could help the family get set up there. Her father trusted this man, so he rented a U-haul, bought a map, and the family headed for Providence, Rhode Island. The dishwasher’s connection had left keys in the apartment mailbox. They arrived and unpacked everything into the one-bedroom apartment. Dhamarys remembers it being so cold. 

“We knew we had to stick together to survive.”

Survival

The next day at eight in the morning, someone knocked on their door. It was a tall man who was speaking English rapidly, and the family couldn’t understand what he was saying. He left and came back two hours later with a police officer who spoke Spanish. 

“You have 24 hours to leave this apartment.” 

Their connection, who said they could stay there, was himself a renter, and the lease was only for a single occupant. The tall man at the door who spoke English was the actual owner. Desperate, they found another apartment in “the worst part of Providence.” The tenants in the first-floor apartments were drug dealers, and their third-floor apartment was undergoing renovations. There was no furniture, no kitchen, and no heat – they had a mattress on the floor, and they managed to get a little space heater. After a few weeks, the renovations finished, and they started getting settled.

Within two weeks of arriving in Rhode Island, Dhamarys, her parents, and 14-year-old brother Raul started working. They would walk three miles every day to work in the same electronics factory assembling computer parts. Dhamarys’s younger siblings: Luisa, ten, and Nathalie, eight, started school. She was amazed at how quickly they picked up English. 

“I was jealous as I couldn’t go to school. I just had to work to help my family.”

She will never forget the day her mother asked her to leave the factory at lunch to buy eggs. She tried to ask the man at the supermarket for “huevos”, but he didn’t understand her. Next, she tried making chicken sounds, but he thought she wanted to buy a whole chicken! One of her coworkers happened to have been at the supermarket and overheard everything. Dhamarys finally got the eggs, and by the time she got back, her coworkers at the factory were all laughing and clucking like chickens. (audio below)

Nursing

Her father never stopped reminding Dhamarys that she needed to go back to school. Eventually, she left the factory, started working at a gas station, and enrolled in classes to become a nursing assistant.

There was one woman who always came to the gas station to buy cigarettes. Dhamarys kept noticing her badge and eventually found out she worked at the Women & Infants Hospital. She told the woman that one day she is going to be a nurse there too. Dhamarys signed up for CNA (certified nurses assistant) classes, passed, and got her license in 1992. She worked first at a nursing home, then applied, and just like she told that woman in the gas station, Dhamarys started working at the hospital in 1994. She felt so proud walking into that same gas station wearing her badge. (audio below)

In 2008 Dhmarys graduated from nursing school with an associate’s degree, and in 2014 she went back to get her Bachelor of Science in Nursing at the University of Rhode Island. Dhamarys couldn’t have done it without the Women & Infants Hospital financially supporting her degree. Dhamarys only took one class at a time because she was working forty-hour weeks, but in 2017 she graduated as a Registered Nurse.

While earning her nursing degree, Dhamarys had the opportunity to substitute a class for a trip to help people in Haiti [see the photo above]. As a nursing student in 2015, she went to remote places to provide free healthcare to communities in need. Dhamarys has continued going to volunteer in the Dominican Republic. Even though now it costs her money to volunteer, she thinks it’s worth it. 

“They take you to the poor, poor places, and it is so rewarding. They appreciate it so much. Every year I put signs in the Women & Infants Hospital and collect stuff like medicine. I love to go. It’s very rewarding to give back to your country.”

Not only is Dhamarys working as a nurse at the hospital, but in 2017 she picked up a part-time job at the airport. She has always loved to travel, but could never afford it. Now she can fly for free. When she went for the interview, they asked her why she would want a job inspecting food carts, when she is already working as a nurse. Her response was, “Because I want to fly. I’m not gonna lie to you!”

Above: Dhamarys standing on Broad Street with the street lines painted like the flag of the Dominican Republic

Rhode Island

Dhamarys loves Rhode Island. She loves the people, the beautiful Atlantic Ocean, and the superb seafood. 

“It may be the smallest state, but there is a lot to do here. Any culture you can think of, we have it here. I don’t think I will ever move out of Rhode Island.” (audio below)

Most of Dhamarys’s friends in the US are Dominicans. There is a street in Providence called Broad Street that is like a “little Dominican Republic”. According to Dhamarys, it’s where you can find some of the best Dominican food in the United States. She doesn’t follow politics in the DR, but says, “culture-wise I follow the Dominicans.”

Above: Dhamarys at the Juan Pablo Duarte (Founding Father of the Dominican Republic) memorial in Roger Williams Park, Providence

Language

Dhamarys’s language ability and her accent is something she is very conscious of all the time. Studying in English has always been extremely hard for her. 

“Something that you can read one time and understand, I have to read five times.”

Dhamarys finds it hard to pronounce many English words and says she appreciates it when people correct her pronunciation. She has never experienced discrimination because of her accent, but it still makes her self-conscious. 

“I have a very strong accent. I worry about it all the time. That’s why I don’t like to speak. I always feel very uncomfortable.”

In order to complete her Nursing degree, Dhamarys had to take a communication class and give a presentation. Nothing makes her more nervous than public speaking. 

“One of the girls in class says, ‘take an Ativan.’ I said, ‘oh, would that make me calm down?’, and she said ‘yes’ and gave it to me. Let me tell you; my accent wasn’t the problem; the problem was I couldn’t speak!” (audio below)

Above: Dhamarys’s daughter at her first communion [left] and Dhamary’s son at work as a sheriff patrol officer in Florida [right]

Parenting

Dhamarys’s entire family lives in the United States now. She has two children. Her son is a sheriff patrol officer in Florida and her daughter just started high school in Rhode Island and hopes to be a nurse anesthesiologist.

When Dhamarys’s son comes home to visit, they go out to the club together with all of his friends.

“My son always says, ‘my friends are asking for you,’ and I say, ‘That’s because I’m young, baby!’” (audio below)

Dhamarys has her daughter every other week. When she does, her parents pick her up from school each day, then Dhamarys joins them after work for dinner. Dhamarys jokes that the kitchen in her house “is just for decoration.” Dhamarys tries to include her parents in everything she does. She recently took them on a surprise cruise and they all had a blast. 

“My parents are so good to me. I am the oldest, and I feel like I am the favorite.”

When she has free time on the weekends, Dhamarys loves to dance the Bachata. (audio below)

Future

Dhamarys’ dream is to retire at 59 and travel. The only problem with this plan is that she loves her job at the hospital, so she’s not sure how she could give it up. No matter what happens in the future, Dhamarys continues to have a joy for life that is infectious. 

“I try to be positive. Everything is difficult in life, but if you have a negative mind, it is more difficult. I feel that people are more willing to help you if you don’t complain about things. It has worked for me.” (audio below)

*Update: Since the interview, Dhamarys started selling real estate, and in 2019 she was awarded the “Hospital Hero” at Women and Infants Hospital.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes have been edited for clarity and brevity.

Thierry’s Immigration Story – Le Mans, France to Pasadena, California

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Le Mans

Thierry was born ten weeks early in Le Mans, while his parents were visiting his grandparents, but raised in a suburb outside Paris. To keep it simple, when people ask where he is from, Thierry tells them Paris. 

Once a year, Thierry and his three siblings would visit one set of grandparents in Le Mans and the others in Les Vosges. The maternal grandparents in Les Vosges had a farm, and he loved picking blueberries there. It was the same farm his mom and her eleven siblings grew up on and were fed by. He considers himself lucky to have had a “boring happy childhood”. He started going to sleepaway “holiday camps” in the summer at age five and bicycling to school alone when he was only six. His parents encouraged his independence. 

Thierry’s mom worked in management for French telecommunications, and his dad worked for Air France. He actually started with the company as a carpenter, at a time when planes contained wood! The perk of his job was that the family could travel a lot. They weren’t wealthy but were never in need of anything. 

“I guess because I was flying all the time, I didn’t feel like borders were a thing. I always felt like I could take a plane and be somewhere else.”

Canada

At 18 Thierry moved to Quebec to go to university and be with his first girlfriend, a Canadian. Despite how Canada is commonly perceived, Thierry didn’t find Canada to be as welcoming a place. He also found it unusual that he had to do a French test – and barely passed with a 60% – even though he is from France!

It was in Canada while studying that he started developing an interest in photography.  Thierry’s first photographs were landscapes inspired by Canada’s natural beauty. Thierry got a “real camera” and attempted some portraits. The first portrait he felt looked professional was of a little child he spotted looking out the window when he was at his brother’s wedding in the South of France [see the photo below].

When he was 20, Thierry and his Canadian girlfriend broke up. All of his friends in Canada were connected to his ex-girlfriend, so he decided it was best to move back to France. For the next five years, he lived in Paris, researching in a lab, pursuing a Ph.D. in cancer research. The fact that his father was battling cancer heightened his passion for the field. Sadly, all of this time in a lab meant less time with his father who was dying. He found it hard to stand the 60 hours a week inside in a lab environment and was happy when it was over. At age 25, with a Ph.D. in cancer research, Thierry decided to switch careers and become a photographer.

Photography

Thierry already spent so much of his free time on photography and wanted to see if he could make a career of it. After his father passed away Thierry left France and traveled with his camera to Brazil, Thailand, Morocco, Japan, China, and even spent a few months traveling in the US. The first time he went to Los Angeles, he fell in love with the weather and the people. He also thought it was the perfect place for him to work as a photographer.

“I knew there was something different for me in this city. It was the place to be for me. I felt very stuck in France. I knew it would be a challenge because everyone is a photographer or model here.”

Above: Thierry’s father was particularly fond of Russian cameras. Thierry found this one in Thailand, as it felt like something his father would have used had he been a photographer. 

Thierry can’t see himself in any other career – photography is his way of expressing himself. Thierry’s late father always loved photography. Thierry knows that his father would have loved to be a professional photographer. For someone who started working as a carpenter at 14, it simply wasn’t a realistic career option.

“I feel like photography is a mission, not only for me but for my father, to do what he would have loved to do. I hope he is proud of what I am doing.” (audio below)

Scientific Approach

Thierry feels like, in a roundabout way, his studies in the sciences are useful for his work as a photographer.  

“I still have the scientific approach – trial and error, and statistics. The way I photograph, I think about the physics of it. A lot of people take photos in a very experimental way. I think in many ways, my knowledge of physics allows me to do a little less trial and error.” (audio below)

All those years studying and researching for his Ph.D. taught Thierry discipline, a quality he believes he needs as an artist trying to live from his craft.

Above: Young Thierry dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Misconceptions

Thierry has found that Americans often think the French hate them, and if you go to France, you shouldn’t mention you are American. He thinks this is wrong.

“We fantasize about the US, like how the Americans fantasize about France.”  

A lot of the French TV shows he watched during his childhood were just reproductions of American shows. The French government had to create laws making it mandatory that radio stations play a certain quota of French music or else it would be all American. Thierry believes that if a company is “American,” it will succeed in France. 

“Even though Starbucks is the worst coffee, it’s American, so people in France go there. We have much better coffee in Europe than that, but it works. There is a fascination about America, and I think it comes from after WWII they were seen as our savior.” (audio below)

Despite this fascination, Thierry never imagined himself living in the US.

California

When Thierry first moved to the US in 2014, he moved to Orange County, California. In 2017 he moved to Pasadena, a city northeast of downtown Los Angeles. Thierry thinks LA is a city you either love or you hate, and having a normal job is anything but a nine to five. He also thinks it is a place where if you are good at what you do, you can succeed. 

“What I like here compared to France is that if you are good, people will give you a chance. In France, they like what you are doing but they already have a photographer. People aren’t willing to change unless there is a major problem like the photographer died or he’s blind. People here are more open to change and to try and experiment. It is more performance-based. If you bring them more money, everything is good.”

Most people Thierry encounters in LA work in the entertainment industry, but most of them also need to supplement their artistic endeavors with another job like bartending.

“It’s very easy to get lost because a lot of people are doing five or six different things. There are so many distractions and events going on. It’s easy to be at events every day.”

Los Angeles is a city where people from outside the US, and people from inside the US, migrate. Thierry knows it is more diverse and open-minded than most places in America.

“In Temecula Valley, two hours from LA, I was doing a photoshoot and I made a wrong turn. I stopped to make a call on my cell phone and someone came out of their house with a shotgun. ‘Get off my property, or I’ll shoot!’” (audio below)

Relationships

Thierry and his ex-wife [see the photo above] didn’t meet on a set, even though she is a makeup artist, and he’s a photographer. A friend of a friend introduced them, thinking they would get along. Thierry knows that his career can be a challenge in any relationship. 

“It’s very hard to be a photographer and be in a relationship, no matter if your partner understands or not. Last year I did ten publications in Playboy [see the photo below]. It’s not necessarily easy being in a relationship when you do that.”

Daughter

In 2017 Thierry became a father. 

“I discovered what unconditional love is. With my daughter, I can’t even imagine, no matter what she does that I will not love her. There is this deep connection, and it changed my life.” (audio below)

Thierry reflected on his finances after having a daughter.

“I changed from whatever comes is good; to now, I need to make money and feed my kid. Before having my daughter, I would accept a lot of unpaid jobs. Since then, I have focused on my need to make an income.”

Photography an industry where people are always trying to push to pay you less. Thierry is invited regularly to events, where people think he will take photos and share them for free. Now he is straightforward about it; for his daughter’s sake – he needs to be paid.

“You don’t invite your dentist to your house and expect them to fix your teeth!” (audio below)

Green Card

Thierry’s green card came through marriage. He can’t believe the complexity of the process.

“There is no one that wants to move out of their country unless they have a very good reason for it. Either they are fleeing something, or they are aiming at something specific like me. It’s much more comfortable for someone to stay where they are. I don’t think that crazy strict regulations on immigration are a good thing. One of my hopes for the future is that emigrating will be easier, and ideally, borders would be a thing of the past.” (audio below)

Nutrition

Thierry loves cooking healthy natural foods. 

“After my dad passed, I started being very health conscious because I didn’t want to be on the same path. His cancer was very related to food. I think, for the most part, most cancers are related to lifestyle. Even things like smoking are not even close to being as bad as having bad eating habits.” (audio below)

Thierry wants his daughter to know where her food comes from. When he was young, he did. His grandparents were raising about 30 rabbits at any time, and that was the main meat they ate.

“I remember seeing the rabbit, playing with the rabbit, then you take a rabbit, you skin it and you eat it. To most people, it seems really rough, but to me, it made me appreciate it. I would never waste any meat because this was something that was living.” (audio below)

Future

Thierry is busy doing commercial photography, weddings, running a studio, working as a director of photography for TV shows, and he has even acted in a few. Despite all of this work, his number one priority is his daughter. 

Thierry feels a sense of duty to expose his daughter to as much of the world as possible. He believes a lot of the world’s problems stem from peoples’ lack of exposure and knowledge. Traveling and experiencing different cultures and ways of life was one way that Thierry thinks he became more empathetic to others. The more you travel, the more you realize that people have the same basic needs. 

“When you meet a family from a country you had a misconception about, you see that no matter what, they love their kids and would do anything for their kids. Anywhere you go, you will see that people love their kids and would do anything for them. My hope for the future is that we raise children that travel more and understand other cultures and are empathetic to others. I think that the new generation is more open. I’m hopeful for that.” 

Borderless World

Thierry likes to believe that we are moving towards a better world – that people are starting to see how “hard borders” are creating more problems than they are solving. It makes sense to Thierry that if it is incredibly hard to get from Mexico to the US, once someone does, they are going to stay because they paid so much money and went through so much trouble to migrate in the first place. If it were easier, like it was in the past, people would come and go, back and forth. (audio below)

Thierry believes that just because someone is born in a certain country, it shouldn’t give them any more right to be in that place. He dreams of a borderless world for his daughter’s future.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Mariya’s Immigration Story – Yaroslavl, Russia to Walnut Creek, California

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Childhood

Mariya was born in 1990 in Yaroslavl, Russia – a large industrial city four hours from Moscow, famous for making rubber tires. Her father was finishing his Ph.D. and her mother was completing medical school, so it was her babushka (grandmother) who looked after Mariya.

It wasn’t easy for her parents to find jobs in Russia that fit their qualifications. Mariya’s mother was a doctor, but she ended up accepting a job at a blood bank. Her father was a software engineer but had to work two jobs plus teach at a university to make ends meet. Like many others, the post-Soviet era was a difficult economic time for her family. She remembers the uncertainty as to whether or not there would be bread available to buy. 

“The milk truck would come once a week, and my grandma would wait in a line at nine at night to get milk for the next morning. It was bad. It’s hard to relay the bare bones of life in Russia.” (audio below)

Above: sledding in Yaroslavl [top left] & Mariya’s first day of school, six years old [top right] & Mariya in front of her apartment complex [bottom]

Once a year at Mariya’s preschool, they would do school pictures with a stuffed animal, and the girls had to wear a bow in their hair. Mariya didn’t have a bow because her parents couldn’t afford it, so she had to borrow one. (audio below)

Above: Mariya in class in Yaroslavl [left] & an old notebook from school in Russia [right]

In school, Mariya always tried to be the best – she knew education was important to her parents. She didn’t have any other dreams or ambitions, though. The mentality was, “just do what you have to do.” This thinking changed at nine years of age when Mariya and her baby brother moved to the US with their parents.

“When we got to America, that’s when my parents told me to have big dreams. I feel like that was the American way of thinking about the future.” (audio below)

United States

All of her ideas about America came from the TV. They had three channels, and only one American show called Charles in Charge. 

“There was a big house with a pool; everything was just so big and so beautiful. That was the only visual I had. I was going to move to the U.S. and have a big beautiful house and a big pool. Life was going to be great.”

Above: Mariya with Batman, in Russia [left]

In the late 1990s, many other families were leaving Russia for California and Silicon Valley’s technology boom. People in software engineering, like her father, were leaving Russia because of the lack of available jobs. She remembers being excited about her first plane ride.

“When you’re young, you don’t understand the gravity of what you are about to do – literally, leave everything you know behind.”  

In hindsight, she realizes how little her family knew about where they were going. 

“We didn’t know the geography of where we were going. My dad used to say, ‘We are going to live in San Francisco, but I’m going to work in L.A.’ We thought the cities were right next to each other!” (audio below)

Mariya’s family left Russia with giant bags because they couldn’t afford suitcases and $100 cash from Mariya’s uncle. When they got to California in 1999, they borrowed money and moved into a Walnut Creek apartment. Walnut Creek, was an area where many other Russians immigrated to. It wasn’t the affluent place it is today. Their new apartment was on the second floor, and from the balcony, Mariya could see the complex’s pool and fountains.

 “To me, it was like we were living in a resort; I had never seen anything like this in my life.” 

Soon the novelty faded away, and Mariya, age nine, realized that life wasn’t going to be easy in the US. She was confused by how empty the streets were – “where are all the people?” In Russia, she walked or took public transportation. In America, she realized that everyone drives, and if you are going to walk somewhere, it will take you a long time.

Above: Mariya’s family’s first Christmas in California

Within a couple of days of arriving, Mariya started school. It was the spring, almost the end of the school year, but her parents still made her go. She had studied English in Russia a little, but it was British English. Instead of saying “mom” or “dad, Mariya said, “mother” and “father” (in a British accent). Mariya realized that the English she knew wasn’t going to help much. Mariya was lost.

“I was sitting there in class, not understanding anything that was happening. And then I would go home at night with homework that I was responsible for completing. At home, my mother and I would translate every single word with a dictionary.”

Mariya went from being a top student in Russia, to barely scraping by. She remembers crying to her mom, telling her that she wants to give up. Luckily, things got better over time. Looking back, she knows it was much easier for her than for her parents to transition to life in America since they knew no English at all.

Synchronized Swimming

In that first year of being in the US, Mariya brought home a flyer advertising a two-week crash course in synchronized swimming. Back in Russia, she had done swimming and gymnastics but had never tried “synchro.” Her mom thought it would be an excellent way for her to do something other than schoolwork, make friends, and practice her English. Mariya took the crash course, and when they asked her if she would like to do this year-round, she said “yes”!

“When you’re young, synchro is appealing because you’re swimming, but you are also dancing in sparkly suits and makeup. It combines a lot of aspects into one sport. You do gymnastics and acrobatics, you go upside down, and a lot is going on. I loved being in the water and doing something artistic.”

She was with the Walnut Creek Aquanuts from the end of elementary school to high school. With each passing year, she got better and more competitive. It was a financial strain on her parents, but they always supported her.

In her junior year of high school, Mariya became a US citizen, so she tried out for and made the US Junior National Team. As she neared the end of high school, Stanford University was her number one choice. Still, Mariya doubted that she would be accepted there. Luckily, being recruited as an athlete improved her chances, and she got in. While at university, Mariya started her career with the US National Team, and in 2012 she went to the Olympics in London.

Olympics

Above: The tattoo Mariya got after the 2012 Olympics

Mariya finds it hard to put into words the pride she felt representing the US. 

“In the Olympics, you feel like you are a part of something bigger. I’m not just in my little sport. The US Olympic & Paralympic Committee does an excellent job of creating camaraderie. I remember getting my first USA jacket and feeling so proud.” (audio below)

“The Olympics is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before as an athlete. It’s a crazy experience, but the most amazing experience I probably will ever have in my life. It’s the entire pinnacle of the work you’ve done your whole life. The pressure you feel is immense, even if you go into the Olympics knowing that you’re not going to get a medal.” 

Mariya explains how in synchro, it’s like you are training your entire life, for only nine minutes of actually competing. The pressure of having the whole world watching is like nothing else. It is a struggle for many Olympic alumni because they will never be able to replicate that exhilaration and adrenaline ever again.

Above: Mariya’s license plate “PCHELKA” meaning “busy bee”

Russia has been the best in synchronized swimming for decades. When Mariya started synchro, she told her American coach that she wanted to swim for Russia someday. Legally, as a dual citizen, she could represent Russia, but deep down, she knew they were “light years” ahead of her. The training in the US isn’t what it is in Russia. She has never felt like it was a competition; instead, she is proud of Russia.

“I always felt pride listening to the Russian national anthem and watching the flag go up, but I also feel proud listening to the US national anthem. I was always even in my pride and allegiance, and it was hard for people to understand that. Their impressions seemed to sound like, ‘Well, you live here – you’re an American. How can you have allegiance to your old country?’” (audio below)

Mariya knows some immigrants abandon their culture when they come to the US and try to be as American as possible, but her family was never like that. They ate Russian food, spoke the Russian language, and she continued to be proud of her country of birth while representing the US. (audio below)

Returning to Russia to compete for Team USA was a special experience for Mariya.

“It was like coming home. When you walk out on deck they show your name and who you are competing for. When the Russian audience saw my name, which is clearly Russian, they all started cheering.” (audio below)

After her first Olympics in 2012, Mariya had one more year at Stanford and didn’t plan on returning to the Olympics again. After graduating, however, she started training and decided to try out for the National Team again. She was told she was too old to improve and needed to lose some weight – they would rather focus on younger teenage athletes. She felt insulted.

“Synchro being an aesthetic sport means that you’re always criticized. The pressure that comes with ballet, swimming, and gymnastics was strong. I am constantly criticized all day: ‘You’re doing this wrong – you’re doing that wrong. You also have to lose five pounds.  Are you sure you want to eat that?’” 

Her parents were okay with her retirement and figured it was a good time for her to get a real job and have an everyday life. Mariya, on the other hand, yearned for a second Olympic experience and would not give up. She returned to her home club in Walnut Creek to prepare for tryouts one last time. That next year at the national team trials, Mariya was the best swimmer there.

“You can’t keep someone off the team when they are number one!”  

A year later Mariya was going to the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro.

“That was my redemption story. You told me you didn’t want me and I came back, made all the improvements, and proved you wrong.” (audio below)

After Synchro

The 2016 Olympics was a great way for Mariya to finish her career in synchro. In 2012, she finished 11th, and in 2016, they finished 9th. She was happy with the improvement and felt like she ended on a high. Throughout her synchro career, Mariya was always doing something outside of the pool. Towards the end, she was working part-time and finishing her Master’s of Sport Management at the University of San Francisco.

“My parents emphasized that I always had to have something to fall back on. There are tons of athletes that finish their athletic careers and have no education or work experience to fall back on.”

Her family has now been in the US for more than two decades. Mariya is confident that it hasn’t been what her parents expected, but she knows they don’t regret coming. She also knows her parents had no idea their daughter would become a US Olympic athlete.

“Some parents push their kids towards the Olympian path, but my parents just wanted a better life for themselves and their kids.”

Many people are surprised to find out Mariya wasn’t born in the US. With all of the political issues in the news regarding the United States and Russia she overhears a lot of discussions, and finds it hard to keep quiet.

“It is interesting to hear people speak their true feelings about Russia when they don’t know I’m from there.” 

Audio: Mariya discussing the stereotypes Americans have about Russians
Above: Mariya, age six, and her parents, after going kayaking

Mariya appreciates that she lived in another country, and she wishes more Americans would have this experience. From the moment she arrived in the US, it bothered her how little Americans seemed to know about other countries, like Russia.

“Once you travel and meet different people you start to understand that the way things are here is not the way they are other places in the world” (audio below)

Future

Mariya is nervous about the relationship between the US and Russia. She knows the US media shows things one way, and the Russian media shows them another way. All Mariya wants to see is peace. She is a dual citizen, and she can remain one unless the two countries are at war. If they did ever go to war, she would need to choose.

Currently, Mariya works for Visa and coaches synchro. Mariya hopes that eventually, she can put her Master’s in Sports Management to use and work more closely with athletics – specifically the Olympics. In the not too distant future, she would like to get married and start a family.

“I feel like I got started later than everyone because of synchro.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Eman’s Immigration Story – Kuwait City, Kuwait to NYC, New York

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Childhood

Eman was born at the beginning of the 1980s to Palestinian parents living in Kuwait.

Most of Eman’s memories of Kuwait involve food. 

“We didn’t have McDonald’s when I grew up – we had Hardees. Pizza Hut is better there. It had an elaborate salad bar. The food was good in Kuwait because that is all we had. They have no other form of entertainment really.” (audio below)

Fleeing Kuwait

Eman was nine when they fled Kuwait in 1990 because of the Gulf War. Eman’s parents had already lived through war as Palestinians and they didn’t want their children experiencing the same trauma they had. The family drove overnight from Kuwait to Iraq. Eman remembers how her parents tried their best to pretend like everything was normal for her and her two younger siblings.

 “We didn’t feel danger or that anything bad was happening. It’s a field trip – eat delicious food and listen to your favorite songs!”

Oddly enough, the one thing Eman will never forget about Iraq is the milk. “It is the best milk I’ve ever had in my life.” Eman remembers how embarrassed her Mom was about the sheer amount of milk her daughter was drinking.  

“Everything in my life revolves around food. I find comfort in food.”

Above: Eman enjoying takeout [top left], toast with zaatar made with thyme and olive oil from Palestine [top right] and a NYC slice [bottom]

Canada

Eman’s father had already started the immigration process for the family to move to Canada. He managed an international fiberglass company and already had business in Montreal, Quebec, so they didn’t stay in Iraq for long. 

“I remember coming off the plane and everybody coming at us with covers to cover us up, since it was really cold, and we were from the desert.”

Above: Eman’s bookshelf

Eman found adjusting to Canadian life reasonably easy. The school she went to in Montreal had other recent immigrants, and many were Arabic speakers – people who spoke the same language and looked like her. Eman explains how even though, as Palestinians, they were second class citizens in Kuwait, their quality of life was better there than in Canada.

Her mother had been a kindergarten teacher in Kuwait, and her father a successful businessman. In Canada, they ran a little muffin and coffee shop franchise called “Treats” in the mall. It was hard work, long hours, with very little return.

The move west had the most profound effect on Eman’s mother, sending her into a depression that has never fully recovered from.

Eman will never forget the happy occasion of her family getting their Canadian citizenship in 1993. Eman’s happiness was overshadowed by one section of her citizenship document. For “country of origin, it read “stateless”. She says this still scars her today.

Comedy

From an early age, Eman had wanted to work in entertainment. She grew up watching American shows and felt like nobody on them looked like her.

“I wanted to dispel negative stereotypes. If I saw people who looked like me, they were always awful terrorists – evil people. I feel like when you entertain someone, they will listen to you a lot more than if you are preaching or teaching.” 

Eman started her work on the comedy circuit in 2006.

“Now when I look back, I wish I didn’t get into comedy. It is such a hard unstable career. If I could turn back time, I would be a professional tennis player [laughing].”  (audio below)

Above: Intruding on a stranger’s photoshoot by the Brooklyn Bridge

Identity

Eman finds that people often have trouble figuring out what exactly is her background. They know she is a woman of color, but not much more than that. Once, she encountered a man on the subway who was shouting out people’s ethnic backgrounds. When Eman walked by, he fell completely silent. (audio below)

Above: A necklace from her parents that reads “Eman” in Arabic

Eman doesn’t feel like she has had to deal with a lot of overt discrimination, which she attributes to not being “visibly gay or Muslim looking.” Although she does think her career would be further along if she had been a regular white guy. 

“I remember when I first started doing stand up in Canada, and I wanted to talk about my identity off the top. My boss would be like, ‘maybe you shouldn’t push that right away because it makes people uncomfortable. Make them laugh with light stuff, then get into who you are.’” 

Audio: Eman opening her set at New York Comedy Club
Above: Eman’s wardrobe with a small Palestinian flag

She has had some strange experiences because of her background. Eman remembers once being called “edgy” for mentioning on the radio that she was Palestinian. She also has been heckled because, as she says, “people don’t like what they don’t know.”

“I did get heckled once by a drunk American couple that voted for Trump and called me a terrorist. The audience was really nice to be like, ‘get the fuck out of here!’ [to the hecklers]” (audio below)

Meeting Jess

In 2009 Eman met Jess, who was born in Montreal, Canada to a Peruvian mother and a Canadian father. They became friends on the Canadian comedy circuit. Eman didn’t think of Jess in a sexual way; in fact, she had never really thought of any woman in a sexual way! 

“My curiosity spiked one night when she was at the club; I looked at her in a different light. She has a line in her stand up about being bisexual, and I was like ‘Oh, my God – I’m totally curious!’ It was always on my subconscious. I thought if I were to fool around with a girl it would be her. I didn’t know I would end up marrying her!” (audio below)

New York

Eman knew that New York City was the place to be for standup comedy. Once a year, she would head down to NYC to do a show. It was perfect when she met Jess because she had the same idea about the city. Both Eman and Jess, as comedians, agreed that New York was a place they could both grow as comedians. Besides, Eman had always dreamed of moving to the US. She grew up obsessed with Beverly Hills 90210 and often fantasized about going to an American college by the beach.

They arranged a trip to New York City for a five-month “trial period”, staying in a small studio apartment. This trip was an excellent test for their relationship, and they passed. As Jess remembers,

“It became clear that we were going to do this together, and we were going to do life together.” (audio below)

Marriage

It also became clear that they wanted to move to the US more permanently. They decided to try and get green cards. Their lawyer suggested that Eman apply, and Jess come as her spouse. This complicated Jess’s plan. She already had the ring, and the proposal all planned out! In the end, Jess still proposed but did end up going to New York as Eman’s spouse.

They married at City Hall in Toronto in 2015. Jess’s father had just passed away, so she was a “complete disaster” emotionally, but is thankful they did it for the sake of the green card. 

“In our wedding photos, it looks like Eman is taking me hostage.”

A year and a half later, they had a proper wedding in Montreal [see the above photo]. Jess’s mom helped throw a beautiful wedding party. It was a “real cultural mishmash,” with Jewish traditions, Arabic traditions, mixed in with Peruvian food and culture. They did the hora and the dabka. As Jess remembers,

“We had belly dancers come out at the end, and my mom got down with them. I may have proposed to Eman, but at the wedding, I was full bride.”

They made the official move to NYC in April of 2016. Eman describes New York City as tough, gross, filthy, but also unique, fashionable, and colorful. 

“Originality is so embraced in New York City. You meet such interesting people who probably left where they are from so they could come here and express themselves fully. It is a beautiful liberal bubble where we think Hillary Clinton is president of this town.” (audio below)

Future

Eman tries to perform every single night, sometimes even more than one show in a night. She gets rusty quickly, so being on stage regularly is her way of staying sharp. Eventually, she hopes to have a stable income from comedy (and fame and fortune of course).

Audio: Eman discussing her and Jess’s relationship on stage at the New York Comedy Club

In regards to America’s future, Eman isn’t too sure. She wants to be an idealist and think that liberal-minded people will win in the end.

“I want to believe this is the last of ignorance, but I look at the future, and I am so worried. I don’t know if evil wins in the end, but I feel like that is what’s winning right now.”

Update: Since the interview, Eman and Jess have a new daughter (puppy) named Esther Honey, their Crave Comedy Special The El-Salomons: Marriage of Convenience launched and they have been creating awesome cartoons about their lives together over on Instagram.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes have been edited for clarity and brevity.

Cristiana’s Immigration Story – Slatina, Romania to NYC, New York

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Childhood

“You hear all these stories of Roma – commonly but problematically called ‘gypsies’- moving, traveling, wearing colorful clothes, having long hair, and other romantic fantasies about the ‘gypsy’ lifestyle. Thinking about my childhood, it could not be farther from the truth.” (audio below)

Cristiana was born in Slatina, a small town where there wasn’t much for a child to do. There was one main factory in town that produced aluminum that employed her father his entire working life. This factory was their family’s financial security and stability. Whenever you drove into the town, you would see a dark cloud of smoke coming from the factory. Reflecting on the pollution, it doesn’t surprise Cristiana that as a child, she always had problems with her lungs.

Cristiana’s mom married her father when she was 16. They met riding the bus that went to the town’s only cinema. Mistakenly she thought she knew him, so she started talking to him. He played along. Eventually, she realized he wasn’t who she thought he was, but by that point, she actually was starting to like him. Cristiana’s mother still jokes with her husband – “You are not the man you said you were!”

Cristiana’s mother’s childhood was short. On her way home from her very first day of school, she was in a horrible car accident. After recovering from being in a coma, she returned to school at the insistence of a teacher who believed in her potential. The teacher had the best intentions – to get an intelligent and curious child back on track – but her classmates were already too far ahead. Then when she was a teenager, her mother (Cristiana’s grandmother) was sick with cancer, so there was no chance for her to fully focus on her education or career. After growing up with such complex challenges, she wanted Cristiana and her brother to have a playful and carefree childhood with access to the best education, something she dreamed of but never had.

Grandparents

Cristiana’s paternal grandparents’ village, Balteni, was two train stops away. Traditionally, the youngest son (Cristiana’s father) stays in the village and takes care of his parents. Cristiana’s mother challenged this norm and insisted her family live in Slatina so that Cristiana could go to school. Every weekend or holiday, they would visit her grandparents as a compromise.

Cristiana remembers one spring she went to pick flowers with her grandma. They found snowdrops growing, removed them with the roots, and replanted them in grandma’s garden. The following spring, the flowers emerged from under the snow and just kept growing. Cristiana’s parents live on the property now, and she always asks them how her snowdrops are doing. Recently, Cristiana’s mother pressed a few and sent them to her by mail [see the photo above]. (audio below)

Cristiana’s grandparents were very active in their community. Despite the “invisible wall” that existed between Roma and non-Roma in their village, they were at the highest place a Roma could be in the local societal hierarchy – somewhere between tolerated and respected. Her grandfather was a respected blacksmith. His non-Roma neighbors would happily work with him, but they wouldn’t want any of their children to marry any of his children. The land he owned and the houses he built made Cristiana’s grandfather proud- a pride she couldn’t understand as a child. He would always say, “I bought the corner of the village.” As a kid, Cristiana would roll her eyes and say, “oh, grandpa is talking again about all the things he’s accomplished.”

“When I came to terms with my Roma identity, I started to see how Roma live life and the instability they have and how transient some of their lives are. I started to understand why my grandfather was so proud. For him, space, land, and belonging were incredibly important. I took that for granted as a kid.” (audio below)

Priviledged & Roma

“On one hand, I had a story of being Roma – working-class on the edge of society – and yet my story is one of incredible privilege and support from family.” (audio below)

Cristiana feels like she grew up very privileged in an underprivileged family. Her parents worked so hard and had little money, yet they never asked Cristiana for any help – they only wanted her to focus on her studies. She didn’t even have to do many of the chores other kids her age were doing, like taking out the garbage or washing the dishes. In high school, her parents spent the majority of their incomes (and even took out a loan), so Cristiana could be privately tutored. They didn’t want the limitations of their class to affect their daughter’s chance for success. 

Cristiana’s mom worked as a cleaner near Cristiana’s school so she could be close to Cristiana and her younger brother – dropping them off, picking them up, cooking for them. She did this throughout Cristiana’s schooling. Cristiana remembers how that embarrassed her at the time – that her mother didn’t have a “profession,” her classmates’ mothers. When she looks back now, she feels so proud of her mother.

“She was this gorgeous young woman who didn’t care about how it looked on the outside. She found a pragmatic way to make sure we went to good schools and financially contributed to the family.” (audio below)

Her father has a darker complexion and looks more Roma. To protect her identity, only Cristiana’s mother picked her up from school. (audio below)

“I heard stories of her going to the hair salon, with me along, and the ladies there said, ‘Your daughter is so beautifully suntanned. How long did you spend at the seaside?’ They couldn’t imagine that we were Roma.”

Hidden Identity

Cristiana didn’t have many friends growing up, primarily because she didn’t want her classmates to know she was Roma. She never invited anyone home to play in her small apartment.

“You learn how to keep a family secret in order to fit in. I did fear that I would treated badly as a Roma, but I found coping mechanisms – never inviting kids home and separating my school life from my family life. As a kid, you want to fit in, and you do everything you can to be accepted by others. Looking back, it is just so heartbreaking.” (audio below)

Hiding her true identity was challenging, but it allowed Cristiana to go to school without facing daily discrimination. It was an isolated existence but she wasn’t the type of person to get bored. She had a great imagination and spent a lot of time reading stories and dreaming. 

She figures that by high school, her two best friends had figured it out. They saw how she never invited them over, and they had the wisdom not to ask questions. Instead, they would invite her to their homes.

“I never saw Roma women on television who are considered smart and confident and beautiful – who are acknowledged for who they are and their skin color is not a problem, so I always hoped nobody would notice it.” (audio below)

Cristiana’s parents always made sure her hair was short [see the above photo], so society wouldn’t think she was Roma. Her mother dressed her in greys and browns, never anything colorful. Her mother wanted her to look as far as possible from “the stereotype of a flashy gypsy with shiny clothes and long hair.” Cristiana hated her hair being so short. She remembers a doctor joking with her once, how if she didn’t have earrings on, he would have thought she was a boy. 

“I was this dark skinny kid with very short hair. Being beautiful was the last thing that crossed my mind. I was just hoping nobody would hold it against me that I was ugly. Nothing about me was girlish. It was hard.” (audio below)

Discrimination

Despite doing her best to hide her true identity to avoid discrimination, it did happen. She only remembers a couple of instances. At the end of first grade, she received an award for having the best grades in the class. 

“After the celebration, one of my classmates’ parents went to my teacher and said, ‘how can you give the best award to a gypsy girl?’ The teacher said she deserved it – she had the best grades. It was the last time I had the best.” (audio below)

After this, Cristiana always made sure never to be the best. “It was a trade-off – a compromise between being accepted and excelling.” Now, these memories enrage her. 

Confidence

By the sixth grade, Cristiana started to grow her hair longer with bangs, and a few classmates commented that she looked like Cleopatra. 

“It was the first time that I felt powerful and beautiful.”

When she was 15, a photographer in her town approached her and asked if he could photograph her – telling her she would look beautiful in his photos. She looked at some of the other models he had shot and couldn’t understand why he wanted to photograph her. She thought it was a joke. 

“When I saw the first photos printed, I didn’t recognize myself. That was the beginning of me feeling more confident and seeing myself in a new light. “ 

In retrospect, Cristiana is happy she didn’t spend her youth worrying about clothes or hair. It allowed her to focus on other “more substantial profound things.” 

“I feel comfortable with this ugly duckling story.”

United States

Cristiana’s first trip to the US was in 2006 at the end of her third year of college as part of a summer student program. She was 22, it was her first time abroad, and she was going to work at a fancy country club in Maryland. She admits it sounds cheesy, but “it was like a script from a Hollywood movie. I had the right people at the right moments, who were open and receptive and kind. I was like Alice in Wonderland”. 

The country club decided they had too many summer students, and Cristiana needed another job. Luckily, Steve, this Italian American manager at a restaurant in Baltimore, came to her rescue. He found her a friend’s empty house to live in, two part-time jobs, and he even invited her to an Italian wedding. 

“It made me feel like I belong in a way I had never felt before. The support and care and kindness I met in the US gave me the energy and strength and inspiration to go through the process.”

This overwhelmingly positive experience in Maryland gave her confidence to explore her identity as a Roma. 

“It was eye-opening, and at the end of that summer, forced by circumstances, I talked about my Roma identity for the first time. The beginning of this journey of trying to understand for me what it means to be Roma, understand the Roma people and see where I fit in. It’s hard redefining who you are and exploring a part of your life you avoided for so long.”

Cristiana returned to Romania, opened her computer, and started researching – “who are the ‘gypsy’ people”?

Cristiana felt inspired like never before to make a difference in Romania and the world. While finishing her psychology degree, she started an organization to help youth employability and soft skills. Still, the focus wasn’t explicitly on the Roma; it was a mainstream initiative for Romania.

As she contemplated her next steps academically, she had to continually fight with her grandfather’s voice in her head – “Have you ever seen a gypsy who was a teacher or a lawyer or a professor?” (audio below)

Academia

Cristiana wasn’t going to let stereotypes stop her. In 2009, she received a Fulbright scholarship and went on to earn a Master of Education Policy at Vanderbilt University. It was a real immersive liberal arts experience – writing articles in the newspaper, taking electives in film studies, and she even started taking ballet.

“Ballet has been the most incredible discovery for me on a personal level. I used to say I hope my future children will not deal with the challenges I dealt with, and they will do ballet. There was a moment at 26 when I realized I was talking about myself. It permitted me to do the thing I only dreamed of as a child.” 

Above: Economist and Philosopher Amartya Sen, a mentor and inspiration, who has helped Cristiana greatly in her academic career

Her professors at Vanderbilt were encouraging when it came to her exploring her Roma identity.

“Being Roma went from being a complete secret to being a big part of my life. Once I take responsibility for something, I am a car without a brake.”

Cristiana wanted to add research to what she already knew through lived experience as a person from the Roma community. The more she researched, the more she realized there aren’t many books about her community. There also aren’t many Roma who have had the academic experiences she has had, and some Roma who are academics aren’t “public” about being Roma. Cristiana believes that “being vocal about being Roma is exceptional,” and she hopes this changes.

Roma Peoples Project

After graduating from Vanderbilt, Columbia University accepted Cristiana to continue her research on the Roma. She saw how researching the Roma could shed light on the experiences of other minority groups. 

“It is a time right now in the US and world where more and more minority groups are coming to terms with who they are and struggling to understand their place in the world.”

Columbia has had Roma students, but they’ve never had a project on Roma issues. In 2017, Cristiana launched the Roma Peoples Project, which operates under the Centre for Justice. The project aims to start a dialogue at Columbia and in society at large about the Roma people. 

“It was my personal search and desire to understand a complex identity that is not yet explored or understood. I want to do this work because I know how fortunate I have been.”

The project involves collecting materials on the Roma and creating a centralized digital archive, as well as highlighting the stories of people who are Roma.

“People are amazed that there are 12 million people who are Roma, and we know so little about them in academia. Then there are other people who know about the Roma but have never had a space to share these stories.” (audio below)

In her work, Cristiana discovered that a lecturer at Columbia, Dana Neacsu [see the photo above], created one of the first annotated bibliographies on the Roma people.

“I keep discovering people interested in the subject who already worked on this topic, but there hasn’t been a space to bring us all together.”

Cristiana still dreams of Romania. Every summer, her grandparents cultivated potatoes, and other vegetables. She loved it when they asked her to go out look for them – like a treasure hunt. In NYC, Cristiana lives close to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and regularly walks around the great lawn to look at the various objects. Once, she had a dream that brought these two very different places together.

“I was in their village in the potato garden, but instead of finding potatoes, I was finding art objects from the Metropolitan Museum of Art! What does this mean? The way I interpret it is that these two worlds have mixed. Maybe the next dream will be about finding potatoes instead of art objects here?” (audio below)

Hopes & Dreams

Cristiana hopes her project will create a space for Roma to express themselves that is not tied to geographical location, especially since the Roma people are so dispersed. 

“We are a global people by definition. We have a multicultural identity, and live in so many parts of the world – mobility and a more fluid relationship with cultures are at the core of how this identity has been shaped for centuries. I hope that we will understand that there is a diversity of ways that you experience this Roma identity. That’s the beauty of it. What it means for me to be Roma is different than what it means for others.”

She wants to inspire other Roma, who may be struggling with their identity, to become more vocal about it. Together, they can redefine what it means to be Roma.

“There are many incredibly successful and talented people who are Roma, and by speaking with their customers, students, and friends about being Roma, they could shatter stereotypes.”

Cristiana hopes that other universities will create projects and institutes associated with Roma Studies, not just for the sake of the Roma community, but as a way of understanding marginalization, displacement, and migration in general. 

“The Roma have been permanent refugees in Europe for over a thousand years. If we can understand the condition of Roma, and people who have survived without a country for so long, we can understand the modern condition. To deal better with a world that is faced with more displaced people and refugees. There is a richness of information that can be explored beyond ways in which it can contribute to Roma people.” (audio below)

Cristiana is working hard so a new generation of Roma will grow up confident, with a strong sense of who they are and with role models who have a variety of professions.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes have been edited for clarity and brevity.

Ximena’s Immigration Story – Lima, Peru to Miami Beach, Florida

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Childhood

Ximena grew up in Lima, Peru’s capital, where family and friends surrounded her. Her best memories include camping on the beach and watching her grandpa make strawberry jam. The smell of cut grass always brings her back to Peru.

Tragedy

Ximena remembers an idyllic childhood until she was six. Her baby brother was supposed to be arriving but she sensed that something was wrong. When she asked her father, “Where is my brother?” – he pointed up to the sky.

“It was the first time I saw my dad cry.” (audio below)

After the loss of her brother, her parents’ marriage started to crumble. They were fighting a lot, and Ximena’s mom went into a deep depression. To make matters worse, in 2000, Ximena’s father was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

Florida

When she was eight, her parents separated, and Ximena and her mom left Peru for Miami. She hated having to go to a new school where people made fun of her for not speaking English. After six “miserable months,” her parents decided to try and make their marriage work. Ximena and her mother returned to Peru. When they returned Ximena and her parents lived in the same house as her maternal grandparents, and her cousin Malena, who Ximena has always thought of as a sister.

Above: Ximena in Peru with her mom and her cousin [left] and her cousin’s baby Iyari, who was four months old when she left [right]

In 2006, Ximena’s dad was offered a position at a seafood distribution company in Florida. At the age of 14, Ximena and her parents moved to the US as a family. It was hard to leave because Ximena’s cousin had just had a daughter who was only four months old. Still, they packed three suitcases and their pet pug and headed to Miami.

After working for a seafood company in Florida for a couple of years, the business started failing, and so her father lost his job. They were his sponsor, and without this, he and his family wouldn’t be able to stay legally in the US. Ximena’s father looked everywhere for another job/sponsor. At the same time, in 2008, he was diagnosed with Leukemia – his second experience with cancer. 

The doctor treating her father felt bad about his situation and signed him up for a program through the American Cancer Association. He needed to take one pill four times a day, and just one of these pills cost 57 dollars! Luckily, because of the program, his treatments and medicines were free. This saved his life. Ximena’s father has been in remission since 2011.

“My father doesn’t look sick, but from what he used to be to what he is now is completely different. He used to have big muscles and was always showing them off.”

Undocumented

When her father lost his job, and couldn’t find another sponsor, Ximena, a senior in high school, became undocumented. Growing up, Ximena didn’t know what exactly she wanted to be but she always knew that she wanted to help people. When it came time to choose a career, she felt trapped by her undocumented status. Focusing on her studies during that last year of high school felt futile.

 “I would try to think about my future, and I could only think about the day after tomorrow.” (audio below)

After graduating high school in 2008, Ximena started working as a personal assistant for a lawyer who paid her under the table. What choice did she have? Ximena remembers people telling her to “just get married” so she could get papers, but she didn’t want to do that.

DACA

In 2012, a friend from high school was working at a private Montessori school and told Ximena they needed help. Ximena tried it out as a volunteer and loved it. She explained her situation regarding documentation to the school. They said they would have the position available for her once she had the proper documentation.

In June 2012, Obama announced DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals), and Ximena applied for it immediately. 

 “I don’t think I had ever felt that amount of hope before. It was like a bright light was turned on.”

Every day she would check her status online. On a rainy, miserable day in December, she checked, saw she was approved, and “fell on the ground with happiness.”  (audio below)

“Finally, I am able to do something with my life.” 

DACA allowed her to have a work permit, and start working at the Montessori school.

Becoming a Montessori teacher in 2012 changed Ximena’s life.

Above: Ximena keeps thank you cards from her students, as a reminder of the difference she has made in their lives. 

“The thing about working with children is it is tough, but it is also a reminder every single day that there is something to be happy about. Those children love you.” (audio below)

Ximena wanted to study, but she was going to have to pay out of state tuition, which is three times as much. In 2012 she decided to take one class at a time, which was all she could afford. 

Above: Graduation Cap from Miami Dade and yellow sash representing TheDream.US scholarship fund (audio below)

Finally, because of DACA, she could pay in-state tuition and she started taking more classes. She applied for TheDream.US National Scholarship in 2014 and this paid for her whole associate’s degree at Miami Dade College. She started working and going to school full-time. 

After this degree, and finishing her Montessori training, Ximena started her bachelor’s degree in Psychology at Florida International University.

Montessori Teacher

Ximena has become close to many of the students’ families at the Montessori school. When she graduated from university, they went above and beyond, giving her gift cards for books. It took Ximena a while to share her immigration story with some of the families whose children she teaches. Over time she started to feel more comfortable opening up.

“A lot of the parents have made it their mission to learn more about immigration and the immigration system.”

Support from these families has given Ximena confidence to put herself out there even though she is “not fully documented.” She knows not everyone in the US is as supportive. (audio below)

“When you put yourself out there, you get the nastiest out of people, but that doesn’t stop me. I need people to understand who we are and what we want. If you have DACA, it doesn’t mean you have it easy.”

Miami Beach

Ximena likes living in Miami Beach. She loves how you can find people from all over the world – different cultures mixing.  

“You never have a boring day in Miami Beach.”

Ximena says she sounds Cuban when she speaks Spanish now, something her mom teases her about.

Above: Damage in Ximena’s neighborhood left over from Hurricane Irma

During Hurricane Irma in 2017, there was a mandatory evacuation of her neighborhood. After driving all over, trying to stock up on drinking water, Ximena, her pug, cat, and boyfriend went to his family’s place one hour away. They stayed there for five nights – 20 people, two babies, five dogs, and a cat – it was crowded, but they cooked a lot of delicious Cuban food. It was fun until the power went out, and they didn’t have air conditioning. Luckily after everything was over, she was able to return to her apartment safely.

Grandpa

One person Ximena really misses is her maternal grandfather, who lived in the same house as her growing up. 

 “He taught me how to use tools. After four daughters and six granddaughters, he was like, ‘I need to teach one of you to build stuff.’”

Ximena and her cousin would spend days with him, building birdhouses and completing school projects.

“I had to do a little electricity circuit. My grandfather went all out, and we made this huge model with this little church in the middle, street lights, houses, and I got a really good grade. I remember it perfectly.” (audio below)

Ximena thinks her love for helping people comes from her grandpa. He was the type of person who would take the food from his own mouth to give it to you. He passed away in 2015, and Ximena never was able to see him or say goodbye to him in person. The most she could do was send him a video, and have her cousin show him. Her cousin says he smiled when he saw it. Losing him was devastating for Ximena – she was angry that she was never able to say goodbye. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, and I couldn’t say goodbye. To me, it meant everything that I wasn’t there for him. I should have been there with him, but I wasn’t able to be.” 

Belief

Ximena’s maternal grandmother is a very religious woman, and Ximena has distinct memories of grandma, taking her to go to church with her when she was growing up.

“Even though I was forced, I still loved it because I spent time with grandma.”

After more than a decade of being apart, Ximena’s maternal grandmother came to the US in 2016. During that visit, her grandma tried her best to get Ximena to return to Catholicism. She was confused by all of the Buddhist items around their house. Ximena’s mother had become a Buddhist and started practicing yoga after learning about it when she cleaned a Buddhist’s home. Grandma didn’t know this.

Ximena appreciates religion but doesn’t follow any particular one.

 “I don’t belong to any religion. I take what’s best from different religions and apply it to my life.”

Ximena loves her parents. Her mom is her best friend, and she will always be her “dad’s little princess”. Ximena is incredibly grateful for all that they have sacrificed for her to be where she is today. 

 “My parents have given everything they have in order for me to have a better future.”

Her mom still works every day as a cleaner while suffering fibromyalgia. A typical day for her is working hard, coming home, and then going to bed.  

Future

It’s been more than a decade since Ximena has been back to Peru, and she misses her country of birth. She wants to go back and visit, but she knows she would never feel like she belongs there. Her time in the US has been tumultuous – full of “fear, anxiety, and sadness,” but she knows it isn’t the United States’ fault.

Luckily Ximena found Montessori teaching, something she loves. Crying with their parents when the students’ graduate continues to be a priceless experience for her.

*Update: Since the interview, Ximena became a lead teacher at the Montessori school, got married, and now has a green card. She is thinking about returning to university to do a Master’s Degree. Ximena is hoping to become a therapist for youth who have experienced trauma. 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Bomi’s Immigration Story – Chungju, South Korea to St. Louis, Missouri

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Childhood

Chungju, where Bomi grew up, is a small city surrounded by mountains. If you drive 15 minutes away, it is entirely rural. Bomi and her father spent a lot of time hiking in nature – memories she cherishes. Bomi’s extended family lived close by, and there were many family gatherings.

Above: Bomi (in green pants) with her cousins

She has good memories of karaoke with her friends and going out to eat street food. Mostly though, her memories are of school.

“A lot of my memories from being a student in Korea are of studying and after school mentoring. It is an intense competitive education. A hobby was something I never got to have in Korea because I was so focused on school. It’s kind of sad.” (audio below)

Bomi was a top student through middle school, but once she got to high school, she didn’t shine anymore. This realization affected her self-esteem, as she discovered for the first time that many people were smarter than she was. Her high school was “extreme” running from eight in the morning until ten at night with no weekends and no summer breaks. It was exhausting, but at the same time, it was normal – all the other students were in the same situation.

“I didn’t know American students get out of high school at three o’clock or that extracurricular activities even exist. You do what you are told to do and don’t know better. I didn’t think it was abnormal. Looking back, I think it is absolutely crazy.”

Above: Bomi’s mother was the breadwinner, so, growing up, she spent a lot of time with her father

Growing up, Bomi had an uncommon household situation in Korea, as her mother was the ‘breadwinner’ and she is older than her father. She showed Bomi that she could be whoever she wanted to be. 

“For her time, my mom is a superwoman – a very strong character. “

Bomi’s parents are “outgoing, crazy, super fun, and like to dance.” Her father loves to play the chopstick drums. Bomi is an only child, so it was very hard on her parents when at 16, their daughter left to the US.

“I thought it would be super glamorous like Hollywood parties and people on the beach. You don’t have a movie showing central Illinois; you see San Francisco or New York City.” (audio below)

International Student

Bomi first came to the US in 2008. She wanted to learn English, so the first thing she did was go to California to study at a language school. She figured all of the US would be like California, but that wasn’t the case when she arrived in Illinois.

Bomi signed up for a one year exchange to attend Mater Dei High School in Breese, a town in rural Illinois. Her host family, who lived in nearby Trenton, hadn’t hosted before. They chose to host Bomi after reading in her application about how she could make delicious Korean food. They didn’t have children, and Bomi became their adopted Korean daughter.

 “I was terrified for the first time being away from family in a totally different country. I always enjoyed meeting people and telling them about Korea – being an ambassador for Korean culture. When you’re in Korea, you don’t think about being Korean.” (audio below)

It was the first time the high school in Breese had exchange students. Bomi was surprised and impressed with how friendly everyone was towards her and the other three exchange students. Breese isn’t a diverse community, but luckily the other students thought it was cool to hang out with someone different.

“I like that people know each other. It helped me feel welcome. Everybody was so friendly and helpful. I have never experienced any racism or discrimination that I was really afraid of before I came here. What if they make fun of me or are mean? I was afraid of being bullied, but people are just curious about my story – people ask questions to get to know me.” (audio below)

She tried a lot of things she would never have done in Korea, like: play Ski pong (beer pong but using the local soda, Ski), go fishing, ride four-wheelers, milk a cow, or eat at Dairy King (not Dairy Queen). The first restaurant she went to was Steak N Shake; she was expecting something fancy. (audio below)

Bomi returned to Korea after her exchange year was over, but she felt a huge sense of loss leaving her host family. Luckily, they reached out and told Bomi that if she wanted to come back to the US and continue going to high school and college, they would love to host her again. When Bomi returned to Illinois, she excelled and went on to be her high school’s Prom Queen.

“I was prom queen – so that’s crazy. I’m not used to that kind of attention. I think I just didn’t have enemies.” (audio below)

After high school, Bomi attended McKendree University, a small private school in Lebanon, Illinois, where she received a lot of attention as an international student.

Bomi followed in her mother’s footsteps and majored in Education, but had a change of heart and switched to Psychology.  She graduated in 2015 but didn’t want to leave the US. To remain in the country legally, Bomi needed to either start grad school right away or find a job. Grad school would be a lot of money, and she didn’t even know what she wanted to study next. She had a job lined up at the university for when she graduated as the international admission counselor and advisor. This would be her best opportunity to stay, so she took the job, thinking they would sponsor her visa. They didn’t. Bomi felt betrayed and knew that her time in America was running out.

Meeting Adam

Bomi and Adam met online in 2016, right before she was going to need to leave for Korea. Adam was born in Canada’s capital Ottawa and moved to the US in 2000. Adam remembers their first date. 

“I got out of the car to go up to the door to meet her, and I could immediately tell she was very uncomfortable. She was avoiding eye contact. I was trying to be as disarming as possible. I have a radar detector set up in my car, and I don’t think that helped her feel more comfortable.” (audio below)

Neither of them was ready for a serious relationship when they met. Bomi, primarily because she knew she was going to need to return to Korea soon. Still, they found themselves spending every weekend together hiking. She kept hoping some miracle would happen and she would be able to stay, but that never materialized. She was devastated to leave Adam, but they also weren’t at the stage of their relationship where they were ready for marriage. Bomi returned to Seoul and taught English, but she and Adam were always in touch. It didn’t take long for Adam to decide to fly to Korea to meet Bomi and her family. Adam had never been to Asia and knew little about the region, but he was ready to broaden his horizons.

For his first night in Korea, the family had prepared a six-course sashimi dinner. Adam was intimidated, nervous, but Bomi’s parents seemed to like him. Adam remembers the moment when he realized the seriousness of their relationship.

“The turning point was when we went to climb this mountain – it was brutal but incredibly beautiful. After that, I think I knew I was in love.” (audio below)

When Bomi and Adam discussed the idea of her returning to St Louis to live, Bomi was surprised that her parents seemed okay with that.

“I thought they were going to tell me I was crazy. They saw something in Adam and trusted him.” 

If her parents had been against their relationship, Bomi doesn’t think she would have returned to marry Adam.

Marriage

Bomi returned to the US on a three-month tourist visa, and she and Adam decided to get married. They had barely known each other for a year – and most of that year, they spent apart – so, in hindsight, they think it was “a pretty crazy decision.” 

Bomi’s father created an enormous banner [see the above photo] for their reception that reads, “This moment is more precious because it is shared with you.” They love that the only English words on it are “wedding, day and Adam.” (audio below)

It was a strange experience for Bomi, being in the US, and waiting for work authorization. She was used to being active and involved – working and making money. She spent her days stuck at home, cleaning, and cooking.

Midwest

Bomi likes the fact that St. Louis isn’t too big – it’s just big enough, affordable, and it has a small-town feel. She likes how it is a place where you can make your mark, and “everybody knows each other through somebody.”

“It is my second home. As long as I’ve been in the States, this is what I know. It is weird to say you like the Midwest, but I like the Midwest. I feel more at home here than I do in Korea now.” 

Bomi feels like it was in the US, where she started thinking for herself. 

“A lot of the things I have strong opinions about are from the influence of living here. Things I wouldn’t have been exposed to or thought about in Korea, I got to have an opinion about here. I’m not an American, but I feel like I’m not super Korean either.” (audio below)

Above: Bomi describes this as the “most Korean picture I could find.”

Identity

Sometimes Bomi feels guilty for not being more connected to her Korean roots.

“I feel like I’m a bad Korean. I’m not involved in the Korean community and I don’t go to the Korean church. I really don’t do Korean stuff, and don’t hang out with a lot of Korean people. I think I am very integrated with everybody else here.”

Looking at Korea from the outside, Bomi realizes the country’s issues around sexism, patriarchy, and lack of freedoms. Before coming to the US, for example, she had never thought about same-sex marriage.

“Same-sex marriage is not something we talk about in Korea. Growing up, I thought Korea didn’t have any gay people. We don’t talk about sex or sexuality. I know one gay person in the entire country, and he isn’t my personal friend – he’s a celebrity.”

Social justice issues that she wouldn’t have contemplated or cared about in Korea are now the things she cares about thanks to her exposure to them in the United States. 

Bomi loves her pet dog and cat. Jet is an old rescue from a greyhound race track in Tennessee that Adam adopted. Bomi describes Jet as a “super whiny, anxious, couch potato, very dumb, and loves going on W-A-L-K (can’t say that word).”

Lion, the cat, is high energy, curious, and always hungry for odd things like flour and white mushrooms. He loves sucking on fleece blankets to sleep. Lion, in line with his peculiar personality, started joining Bomi and Jet for walks. Neighbors with kids will come out to watch as Bomi, her dog, and her cat, walk by.

“Everyone knows I’m the one with a greyhound and a ginger cat following.” 

St. Louis Mosaic Project

Bomi works as the assistant project manager at the St. Louis Mosaic Project run out of the World Trade Center St. Louis. The Mosaic Project is a regional initiative to attract people born outside of the US to the area and retain them. As an immigrant herself, Bomi feels a personal connection to the project.

“It is heartwarming to see people having a great experience in St. Louis, like I have.”

Before they employed her, she had been volunteering for the project. She loves that her work is rewarding, and she gets to meet people from all sorts of different backgrounds.

“I feel like I’m a small part of something big.”

One project that Bomi is particularly proud of is the International Mentoring Program Meetup Group. Many families that move to St. Louis have one partner (usually the husband) who has the job/routine/friends. In this case, the spouse (most often the wife) feels left out and doesn’t know where to go or what to do. This meetup group matches the lost spouse with a local woman in St. Louis. This project grew to involve 60 local women and is advantageous for them, too; it connects them to a person from a different background.

This project is personal for Bomi since she has been in their shoes before. Bomi remembers how “unsuccessful, useless, isolated, defeated” she felt after she had first applied for her green card. Bomi, unlike most of these women, had the advantage of already having been in the US for a decade. When they have events and invite their husbands, Bomi can see these women glow as they introduce their partners to their network of friends.

“The whole family has to be happy to stay in St. Louis, and this is what retains people.”

Adam is keen on learning Korean. He finds it very hard, but fascinating how there are so many customs embedded in the language. “In Korean, there are four or five ways of saying everything, depending on who you are talking to.”

Bomi loves her life in Missouri and feels like she has many people to thank – like her host family and the people at Mater Dei High School and McKendree University who saw something in her.

“They gave me a sense of belonging – something people always struggle with.”

Future

She has felt valued and appreciated here. She would like to return to university eventually, and “be a master of something,” but she doesn’t know what yet. For now, she enjoys her job. Her dream is to have her family in St Louis with her.

“I’m an only child, so I think about what I am going to do. I don’t see myself living in Korea. The older I get, the more I think about how I want my parents to be around. When Adam and I have children of our own, I want my parents to be around.”

Adam and Bomi are in the process of deciding whether or not to put roots in St Louis – a place neither of them is from originally. It is the place both of them have lived the longest as adults. 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Priscilla’s Immigration Story – São Paulo, Brazil to Bedford, New Hampshire

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Childhood

Priscilla was born in São Paulo, Brazil, the country’s most populous city, to a Brazilian mother and an Australian father.

“One of my greatest memories is going to a feira (outdoor market) with my mom and eating pastel and drinking sugar cane juice.”

The first time the family traveled outside of Brazil was to move to the United States – it was for her father’s job. Her baby brother, the youngest of her three siblings, was born in Boston. Priscilla will never forget the day the family learned that he had Leukemia.

“We all had to grow up fast.”

After that, most of the traveling the family did was for her brother’s health care. They moved between Brazil, Mexico, Singapore, and a few American cities. All this moving left Priscilla feeling as though she didn’t have a “home.” She learned to avoid close relationships with people, as she knew she was going to be saying goodbye soon enough. The family was in Singapore when her brother’s health took a turn for the worse. He passed away at six years of age when Priscilla was 14. It was then that, “everything just fell apart” for her family. 

She remembers her little brother, fondly.

“When times are tough, I look at his photo, and it reminds me to always be strong. He was strong even in his last breaths.  He had this very old soul that shined happiness.” (audio below)

United States

Priscilla moved to the United States permanently in 1996 to study travel/tourism, and hotel administration at a Lasell College in Boston, Massachusetts. Shortly after getting her degree, at age 22, she had her first child.

“I was not excited about being a homemaker, so I decided to put my degree to use and open up a home-based travel agency. This job allowed me to be with my child and use my degree to assist others with my passion for traveling.”

Family

Priscilla’s religious mother gave her these prayer beads. Although Priscilla doesn’t consider herself to be religious and lives by the motto “you do what’s best for you,” she keeps these beads with her at all times as a sort of protector. These beads symbolize her family’s religion, Catholicism, and all of the history connected to this. Priscilla emphasizes that, according to superstition, it is crucial never to break these, and if you do, you must make sure to collect all of the beads swiftly.

Audio: Priscilla remembers breaking the beads as a child

New Hampshire

After living in Massachusetts, Priscilla and her family moved to Bedford, New Hampshire. Bedford is a suburb of Manchester, the state’s largest city. Priscilla has always found it hard to fit in.  

“I can adapt anywhere, but fitting in is different. I feel that when I look around, I can’t find someone like me.”

Most people never guess that she is a mother of three, or that she’s in her early forties. She has found it difficult to make friends with the local women. When she has conversations with the other moms, they generally want to discuss their children. Priscilla wants to discuss other things. (audio below)

Priscilla has also noticed that when she walks around New Hampshire, she gets a lot of strange looks, which she attributes to her having darker skin. (audio below)

She recognizes that nobody’s life is easy. Still, she thinks life is harder in New Hampshire when you are a “foreigner” – especially around Bedford, which is not a very diverse place.

“When you see somebody else who is foreign, you automatically cling on.” (audio below)

Priscilla’s closest friends are still back in Brazil – and she tries to go back to see them most summers. 

Identity

Being the daughter of an Australian father and Brazilian mother, Priscilla sees herself as a blend of the two – “the in-between” or “the best of both worlds.”

“I’m not your loud and welcoming Brazilian, and I’m also not your close-minded Australian.” (audio below)

Priscilla has always had a knack for picking up languages and speaking them without a detectable accent. When she was in Brazil, people would ask her if she was American, and when she speaks Spanish to customers at work, they think she is from Mexico. 

Priscilla wants her children to have the opportunity to travel and learn about other cultures. Still, most importantly, Priscilla wants them to have a “home”. She wants her children to feel like they belong where they live. 

“New Hampshire is the place that my kids know the most. I don’t want them to feel the way I felt traveling all over.” (audio below)

Home

Soccer is Priscilla’s passion. She doesn’t play it as much as she used to, due to a couple of injuries, but it is still a big part of her life in New Hampshire. It’s one way she stays connected to her Brazillian roots, and it keeps her feeling young.

Priscilla works in customer service. She finds it strange that people don’t socialize after work like they do in Brazil. In Bedford, people go straight home after work, especially in the winter. The United States may be where she lives, but Brazil will always be her home. She misses the warmth of the people. 

 “The people in Brazil seem to be happier than here. You see a lot of poverty, but you also see a lot of happy faces, even when life is rough.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Jonathan’s Immigration Story – Kitchener, Canada to Las Vegas, Nevada

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Childhood

Jonathan was born in Kitchener, a city he describes as not the nicest place, but also not the worst. Jonathan’s mom ran a flower shop, and his father sold parts for transport trucks.

“My childhood was great. We were poor, but I didn’t know it. I was given a lot of free time to create. Since I wasn’t able to get all the fancy toys, I would make them. I was content with that because I didn’t know better.”

Dreams

“When I was very young, one of my dreams was to fly. I have vivid memories of me walking, and I would be stepping on air. I wanted to fly, and I wanted to do something amazing. I’ve continued trying to be part of something amazing.” (audio below)

When Jonathan was just three, he became a fan of Michael Jackson, and by six, he taught himself how to moonwalk.

“Down by my house, there was a video rental store with one copy of ‘Moonwalker’ and one copy of ‘Thriller.’ Every week I would rent them, and it was a seven-day rental. I would bring them back, and that same day I would rent them again. They let me do that for a year and a half, then finally they said, ‘just keep them.’ I ended up burning through ‘Moonwalker’, though. I played it so many times it melted and got stuck in the VCR. Those movies I would watch and rewind and watch and rewind to teach myself. I only started dancing when I was 14, so I had a lot of years of just watching and copying.” (audio below)

Dance

Every year Jonathan would ask his mother if he could take dance lessons, and each year the answer was “maybe next year.” He didn’t know it at the time, but his mother was afraid of the teasing her son would likely endure if he took up dancing – and she didn’t know if he could take it. Finally, when he was 14, his mother gave in. Two years later, Jonathan went to study under the choreographer Sheila Barker, who took him under her wing, and to whom Jonathan refers to her as his “dance mom.” She was the biggest influence in his dance life and pushed him hard. “If Sheila made you cry, that meant you were something special.”

Dance came easily to Jonathan. When it comes to learning movement, Jonathan says his brain is like a sponge. It was everything outside of dance that was a challenge.

“I gave up hockey and baseball to dance. My uncles teased the crap out of me. I was known in my family as ‘fairy boy.’ The joy I get from dancing always outweighs whatever I was getting outside of it.” (audio below)

Assumptions

From Jonathan’s experience, the assumption for any male who pursues dance is that they are gay. Canadian society, when Jonathan was young, wasn’t as progressive and accepting as he likes to believe that it is now.

“As soon as I started dancing, they would push me around – they’d beat me up. For my grade eight graduation, my mom came to pick me up, and my friends spit on our car because I was dancing, and I was gay, a fairy boy. They spit on our car – my friends I had grown up with!” (audio below)

Jonathan had been dancing for one year when he decided to go to Eastwood, an art-focused high school in his hometown. Being around other artistic kids fed his drive, but still, he wanted more.

“It was whipped cream topping, but I wanted the whole cake.”

Immediately after high school, Jonathan got a job at an amusement park called Canada’s Wonderland, performing as Michael Jackson. When he looks back on it, he realizes how they were taking advantage of him. He did thirty shows a week and was receiving meager pay. Still, he loved it. He was so busy he forgot to eat. When his mom came to visit, she was furious. He remembers her taking him straight to the grocery to buy frozen meals. Despite the intensity, he still loved it – the freedom of being away from home. “It was one of the best jobs I’ve had, period.”

Ship Life

After that summer of dancing, he got a job on a world cruise. Jonathan had no idea what he was getting into. He had never been on a cruise ship, and the work schedule was intense. Jonathan was 18, very eager, and much younger than everyone else. He felt disliked right away and found himself in a toxic, bitter cast. It was his first experience of “the ugliness of the performing world.” He remembers how on his birthday, a fellow cast member stepped on his head on purpose and knocked him out during a show. He spent his birthday night alone, getting phone calls every hour from the doctor to make sure he was awake.

“Ship life is not for everyone. You are in confined quarters, surrounded by the people you work with. You can’t get away. ”

Still, there were positives to the experience – he moonwalked at age 19 on the Great Wall of China!

After the experience on the ship, Jonathan returned to Canada and started dancing in Toronto. He secured a part in the pantomime Aladdin starring the famous wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart – someone he was a huge fan of as a kid. In 2005, after living in Toronto for three years, he moved to New York. His best friend’s father, who had recently passed away, left Jonathan money in his will to be used for dance training. Jonathan’s agent didn’t like the idea, and looking back, Jonathan realizes how harmful this decision was to his Canadian dance career.

“I was a face in the Toronto dance scene, and I fell off the map.” 

Jonathan believed that a year studying in New York at the Broadway Dance Centre would turn him into a “different dancer”. When he arrived, he realized many of the classes were beginner level, and some of his classmates had never taken dance before. Jonathan started skipping class because of how useless it felt. He liked being in New York, but this wasn’t what he was looking for.

A Close Call

In 2006 he went on a cross-Canada tour with the Aladdin show. During this tour, Jonathan collapsed during the show and woke up with concerned people surrounding him. Jonathan tried to brush it off, but that night he couldn’t see, his head was pounding, and he couldn’t sleep from the pain. Jonathan tried to pretend to be feeling better. He went to the doctor, who told him not to worry about it.

Jonathan returned to New York to train and received a call from his mother. She said the stroke clinic had been calling the house, wondering why he hadn’t been to his appointment. The malformation in his brain looked like damage from a stroke. Although the tests came back negative, Jonathan had a severe migraine six days a week and was throwing up regularly. He has a malformation of blood vessels, and if he has surgery, there is a 60% risk of losing some of his motor skills. 

“You know I’m a dancer, right? That’s not an option.”

The focus became treating his migraines rather than surgery. Still, the doctor warned that by the age of 50, Jonathan could have severe issues with day to day functioning if the condition worsened. After this scare, Jonathan got serious about his health. Luckily the malformation hasn’t grown, but Jonathan knows that it could at any point. (audio below)

Above: “That shock I had at 25 and being told I had lived half my life. I need to remind myself that time is fleeting. The only guarantee in life is that you are going to pass away.”

After his medical scare and suffering from severe migraines, he had his first experience at “a regular-person job.” Jonathan worked at his hometown grocery store, stocking shelves on the night shift. He lasted three months. 

“As a performer, you perform on stage and can hopefully bring joy and a moment of escape for the people watching. Stocking shelves, you work so hard and come in the next day, and it is like you weren’t ever there! ” 

Las Vegas

Jonathan received medical clearance to return to dance. After once again working on a cruise ship, he decided to try his luck in the USA. In 2009 Jonathan drove down to Las Vegas to work in a Cirque du Soleil show. Upon arrival, they told him he was no longer needed, as the person he was replacing was staying in the show. Jonathan had moved his whole life to Vegas for a job that didn’t exist.

“It’s always a series of unfortunate events it seems for me, but I always try to make the best of it.”

While Jonathan was trying to find any job to pay the rent, he went to an audition his friend suggested. He was surprised when they asked him if he was willing to trim his leg hair as a requirement to get the part, and although Jonathan still didn’t know anything about the show, he agreed. Soon after another person walked in, introducing himself as “Cher”, and informed Jonathan, he had auditioned for Divas Las Vegas, a drag show. Jonathan became one of six male backup dancers to the performers. (audio below)

So You Think You Can Dance

In 2009 he auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance Canada. He hadn’t prepared anything and made up a solo right there on the spot. It was great, but then they asked him to do the routine a second time. How could he replicate something he had improvised? Still, he managed to get on the show. (audio below)

In 2011, the producers of the show reached out to his agent, asking if Jonathan intended to audition for season three of the show. Although he hadn’t planned to do so as he was busy in Las Vegas, the phone call encouraged him to try again. He did well that season and made it to the top 12, but the show wasn’t the big break he was hoping for.

“I thought it was going to be that moment when I was like, ‘yes, I’ve done it.’ It wasn’t.” 

After returning to the drag show, Jonathan was in a 50 Shades of Gray-themed topless show. The producer started trying to put nudity into the numbers of the show that didn’t involve nudity. Any numbers that they couldn’t do topless he cut. This show that Jonathan initially thought was creative became a “generic topless show.”

“Grandma taught me if something is wrong to speak up.”

Jonathan told the producer that he thought his choices were demeaning and disrespectful to the women in the show. He’s glad he did because the producer listened, and changed the show for the betterment of the cast. Jonathan next performed in a show called Donny and Marie, for almost three years. During this time, he was having difficulty with his visa and was engaged to a Canadian woman. Jonathan moved to Vancouver to see if his relationship with his fiancée would work, but it didn’t. 

The directors at Donny and Marie wanted him to come back to the show, so he started the process of getting a new visa. On the day he was driving down to Vegas, Jonathan found out that the job he thought was available wasn’t. It was like deja-vu – driving to Vegas without a job lined up. Jonathan had spent $9000 on a work visa, so he figured he should try to make use of it. Once again, for the third time, Jonathan was back in the drag show.  

Above: This 2002 Pontiac Sunfire, which he calls his “shitfire,” has been with him since 2009. It had 45,000 miles when he got it, and it now has 180,000 miles.

“Las Vegas is something everyone should experience once in their life. A completely different world than anything else that exists. After living here, going anywhere else is a huge culture shock. You get used to things never closing here.”

Grandma

Losing his grandmother in 2012, was an incredibly difficult time in Jonathan’s life. When the family was sorting through her belongings, they found plaques of newspaper articles about Jonathan that she hadn’t even unwrapped yet. Jonathan can’t bring himself to take the plastic wrap off. She was his biggest fan. Jonathan got a feather tattoo as a symbol of her.

“She was so close to me. She pretty much raised me. I was either at the flower shop or at grandma’s. She was Scottish and blunt and I learned so much for her. She always danced and she taught me about Tom Jones and Rod Stewart – all these ladykillers. My grandma always motivated my dancing. I was her superstar.” (audio below)

Future

Jonathan emphasizes how hard it was for him to get work visas (he has had two). 

“They go through your stuff with a fine-tooth comb. Freelancers aren’t established enough to get a work visa. I’ve been seriously considering moving back to Canada.”  

Jonathan doesn’t want to stop dancing and is looking for his next job. He is trying to focus on his priorities now, like taking care of his dog Dexter, and to take things slower.

“If I couldn’t dance anymore, it would be rough. This time while freelancing, I’ve come to learn that I am okay with not dancing. I’m not super content and happy, but I’m okay.”

Jonathan has advice the next generation of dancers.

“Believe in yourself because no one else will. Always stick to your gut. No matter what gets thrown at you, keep moving forward. It is one of the hardest industries to be in. Take every moment that you are dancing and just enjoy it. If you enjoy that experience of dancing, you are going to get something out of it. You lose jobs on stupid things: on eye color, hair color, or height. These things are outside of your control, so let go of them. Things inside your control – work your ass off for them.”  (audio below)  

*Update: Jonathan decided to move back to Canada. He is currently teaching dance, spending time caring for his mother, and in the process of trying to find his path.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh & Janice May. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Luisa’s Immigration Story – Bogotá, Colombia to Miami, Florida

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Childhood

Luisa lived in Bogotá until she was eight years old. Her early life consisted of playing outside with the kids from the block and spending time with family. Luisa’s mother taught technical drawing at the university, and her father worked for Coca Cola, opening new plants all around Colombia.

Trip to Disney World

At the time of her parent’s marital separation, her maternal grandmother, as well as aunts and uncles, were already in the US.  In 1998 Luisa’s mom took Luisa, age eight and her younger sister, on a trip to Disney World. They never returned to Colombia.

“My mom was convinced by her family to stay. We came to Florida with one suitcase and stayed after our vacation.”

Luisa has a clear memory of getting off the plane in Orlando, and everything is bigger, fancier, and more luxurious than she had previously experienced.

“My aunt came to pick us up in an old minivan, and in my head, I was like ‘wow she is so rich, and this car is so big and beautiful.’”

Adjusting

Immediately after they arrived, Luisa’s mom, the former university professor, started cleaning homes – just like her aunt and grandmother did when they came to the US. They brought Luisa’s mom along with them to introduce her to the people whose houses they were cleaning, and she started cleaning three homes a day. Luisa’s father wanted to reconcile with his wife, so he came to the US on a tourist visa and ended up staying with them. He learned the basics of being a handyman and starting working as a handyman in America.

Adjusting to life in the US wasn’t easy for Luisa. Other children made fun of Luisa for not speaking English, so she learned fast. Luisa remembers sitting in class doing math equations. While she knew the answer to the problem on the blackboard, she didn’t raise her hand as she didn’t know how to say the answer in English. Trying to communicate with her limited English was not worth the risk of her peers making fun of her. She did, however, feel “so important” when her class wrote letters to Bill Clinton, the president of the United States. (audio below)

Luisa has had many ambitions, like ballet, but her first career ambition was unique.

“On third grade career day, I told my mom that I wanted to go to school as a tourist. She didn’t break it down to me that that’s not a career. She played along with it and dressed me up with a hat and a camera around my neck.” (audio below)

In fifth grade arts and crafts class, Luisa wrote down a collection of adjectives that she wanted to embody, and today it still hangs in her home.

“At the time what I chose to be the big center word was ‘wise’. For a lot of years, I had it taped on my ceiling above my bed. It is actually now so much more meaningful. Now it is a reminder when I come in every day – this is what I want to be, whether I am a business owner, an educator, a sister or a mother. That’s who I am, and I’ve known it since fifth grade without really realizing it.” (audio below)

Undocumented

Before high school, Luisa had never considered that she might be undocumented. When she tried to volunteer, the application asked for her Social Security Number so she asked her parents for it. They told her she didn’t have one.

“My initial reaction was like: ‘Great! Where do I go to get my social security number? Let’s fill that application out!’”

Luisa found out that there was no application or quick solution, and this prevented her from volunteering and from getting an afterschool job. To get to work required that she drives, but because she was undocumented, she couldn’t apply for a driver’s license.

“I felt like I am trying to do all the right things that I’m told I should be doing, and there is this thing keeping me from it that is completely out of my control. It took away my agency, and I felt like my hands were tied. I could no longer control my destiny.” (audio below)

College

Throughout high school, Luisa maintained a 4.0 GPA and was class president. She was the type of student who would typically be going to an Ivy League college. That’s what Luisa intended to do; however, when she found out she would have to apply as an international student due to her status, she was devastated and scared. Luisa feared the colleges reporting her to the authorities (which she realizes was unfounded).

“I felt like I was doing something wrong – living in the shadows – not knowing what to tell who and when.”

If she applied as an international student, she would need to show bank statements proving that her family could pay full tuition – which her family could not demonstrate. She explains how her senior year was particularly tough because she was working towards a life that was not an option. Some schools have gotten better at procedures for undocumented students, but at the time, there was no clear answer. (audio below)

Luisa ended up at Miami Dade Community College, where she had to pay out of state tuition. At least she was going to college and one she could afford. “It took me a while to be proud of the fact that I was starting somewhere.” She didn’t let her status stop her from becoming student body president.  

Luisa’s grandmother – a US citizen – petitioned for Luisa’s mother’s citizenship. She waited 15 years for that petition to be processed. In Luisa’s second year of college, her mother’s file was open for review, and Luisa was finally able to become a permanent resident. She went on to attend Georgetown, where she completed a degree in Political Economy, Education & Justice, and in 2015 she became a citizen.

Ice Cream

Ice cream has always been a part of Luisa’s life. She remembers her father picking her up after dance class and taking her to get a frozen treat. In her senior year in college, Luisa’s sister told her about people using liquid nitrogen to make ice cream. Luisa started exploring YouTube on how to do it, and she eventually convinced a liquid nitrogen company to sell to her. The company may have believed that they were selling to the university and not to Luisa for her personal use. Luisa served her first batch to 150 students out of her dorm room. From this experience, she saw how this endeavor could become a business.

At the time, Luisa had been applying to banking and consulting positions.  When she finally landed a job, they withdrew the offer because she couldn’t get a security clearance as she wasn’t a citizen. Stuck, the idea of creating her own business seemed more appropriate than ever. In 2015, Luisa opened Lulu’s Nitrogen Ice Cream.

Audio: The sounds of Luisa making Nitrogen Ice Cream

Luisa’s mom now works in the kitchen, and together they have developed some unique flavors like Guava Goat Cheese. Growing up in the desert, Luisa loved cheese and guava paste bocadillos. She brought this memory to life by sourcing local guavas and boiling them for nine hours into the topping for the goat cheese ice cream.

Businesswoman

In highschool, Luisa was in the business academy, as well as developing an interest in international relations and non-profit work. Luisa says she didn’t know what she was getting into when opening Lulu’s. Starting a business was an extremely challenging financial decision. Even though Lulu’s is a successful business, there are many months she can’t pay herself.

Luisa grew up to believe that business people are not the nicest. She is trying to be a different kind of business person – putting ethics before profit.

“There has got to be a way to run a business, make money, and be a nice kind person that also cares about other things.” (audio below)

Luisa is intentional in the way she gives her team feedback. She wanted this business to have a positive impact on the surrounding community – and they do sponsor and donate ice cream to causes Luisa believes in.

One of her favorite professors at Georgetown was Mike Ryan, who taught personal finance. He taught her how money is an opportunity, and what matters is how you use that opportunity. This memory sparked in Luisa the desire to start a program at Lulu’s, which teaches her young employees, most of whom are high school students, financial literacy.

“I know in our current education system, we don’t have financial literacy as a staple, and if you don’t get it at home, you are screwed. This is one thing I can do that could change their lives. We have financial experts come in and teach them the basics. The way you manage can help set you up for future success.” (audio below)

Luisa wants to inspire young women to dream about one day opening their own businesses. A lot of young women visit her shop because they read about her story. Luisa always makes sure that they leave knowing that they can do it, whatever it is that they dream of creating. (audio below)

The Colombian community is strong in Miami, but Luisa isn’t particularly involved in it. She’s been back several times to Colombia, but still, she identifies primarily as American.

“I truly identify as American. I love a lot of things about the United States – it’s my identity now.”

Future

In the long-run, Luisa wants to effect positive change in Florida’s education system. In regards to Lulu’s, she’s not sure she wants it to grow anymore saying, “I am really happy with the way it is today and what it does for the team members and our community.” Luisa is personally invested in Miami and thinks it is an exciting place to be right now. She sees so much potential. Even though she may split her time between other locations in the future, she says, 

“I will forever call Miami home.”

*Update: Since the interview, Luisa joined the board of a parent advocacy organization. After attending school board meetings for two years, she decided to run to represent her home district on the school board. Luisa reflects, “Our schools opened many doors for me, and I’m running to ensure that our 350,000 students have the same opportunity to realize their full potential.” You can visit Luisa’s website here.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.