Muslim

Eman’s Immigration Story – Kuwait City, Kuwait to NYC, New York

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Childhood

Eman was born at the beginning of the 1980s to Palestinian parents living in Kuwait.

Most of Eman’s memories of Kuwait involve food. 

“We didn’t have McDonald’s when I grew up – we had Hardees. Pizza Hut is better there. It had an elaborate salad bar. The food was good in Kuwait because that is all we had. They have no other form of entertainment really.” (audio below)

Fleeing Kuwait

Eman was nine when they fled Kuwait in 1990 because of the Gulf War. Eman’s parents had already lived through war as Palestinians and they didn’t want their children experiencing the same trauma they had. The family drove overnight from Kuwait to Iraq. Eman remembers how her parents tried their best to pretend like everything was normal for her and her two younger siblings.

 “We didn’t feel danger or that anything bad was happening. It’s a field trip – eat delicious food and listen to your favorite songs!”

Oddly enough, the one thing Eman will never forget about Iraq is the milk. “It is the best milk I’ve ever had in my life.” Eman remembers how embarrassed her Mom was about the sheer amount of milk her daughter was drinking.  

“Everything in my life revolves around food. I find comfort in food.”

Above: Eman enjoying takeout [top left], toast with zaatar made with thyme and olive oil from Palestine [top right] and a NYC slice [bottom]

Canada

Eman’s father had already started the immigration process for the family to move to Canada. He managed an international fiberglass company and already had business in Montreal, Quebec, so they didn’t stay in Iraq for long. 

“I remember coming off the plane and everybody coming at us with covers to cover us up, since it was really cold, and we were from the desert.”

Above: Eman’s bookshelf

Eman found adjusting to Canadian life reasonably easy. The school she went to in Montreal had other recent immigrants, and many were Arabic speakers – people who spoke the same language and looked like her. Eman explains how even though, as Palestinians, they were second class citizens in Kuwait, their quality of life was better there than in Canada.

Her mother had been a kindergarten teacher in Kuwait, and her father a successful businessman. In Canada, they ran a little muffin and coffee shop franchise called “Treats” in the mall. It was hard work, long hours, with very little return.

The move west had the most profound effect on Eman’s mother, sending her into a depression that has never fully recovered from.

Eman will never forget the happy occasion of her family getting their Canadian citizenship in 1993. Eman’s happiness was overshadowed by one section of her citizenship document. For “country of origin, it read “stateless”. She says this still scars her today.

Comedy

From an early age, Eman had wanted to work in entertainment. She grew up watching American shows and felt like nobody on them looked like her.

“I wanted to dispel negative stereotypes. If I saw people who looked like me, they were always awful terrorists – evil people. I feel like when you entertain someone, they will listen to you a lot more than if you are preaching or teaching.” 

Eman started her work on the comedy circuit in 2006.

“Now when I look back, I wish I didn’t get into comedy. It is such a hard unstable career. If I could turn back time, I would be a professional tennis player [laughing].”  (audio below)

Above: Intruding on a stranger’s photoshoot by the Brooklyn Bridge

Identity

Eman finds that people often have trouble figuring out what exactly is her background. They know she is a woman of color, but not much more than that. Once, she encountered a man on the subway who was shouting out people’s ethnic backgrounds. When Eman walked by, he fell completely silent. (audio below)

Above: A necklace from her parents that reads “Eman” in Arabic

Eman doesn’t feel like she has had to deal with a lot of overt discrimination, which she attributes to not being “visibly gay or Muslim looking.” Although she does think her career would be further along if she had been a regular white guy. 

“I remember when I first started doing stand up in Canada, and I wanted to talk about my identity off the top. My boss would be like, ‘maybe you shouldn’t push that right away because it makes people uncomfortable. Make them laugh with light stuff, then get into who you are.’” 

Audio: Eman opening her set at New York Comedy Club
Above: Eman’s wardrobe with a small Palestinian flag

She has had some strange experiences because of her background. Eman remembers once being called “edgy” for mentioning on the radio that she was Palestinian. She also has been heckled because, as she says, “people don’t like what they don’t know.”

“I did get heckled once by a drunk American couple that voted for Trump and called me a terrorist. The audience was really nice to be like, ‘get the fuck out of here!’ [to the hecklers]” (audio below)

Meeting Jess

In 2009 Eman met Jess, who was born in Montreal, Canada to a Peruvian mother and a Canadian father. They became friends on the Canadian comedy circuit. Eman didn’t think of Jess in a sexual way; in fact, she had never really thought of any woman in a sexual way! 

“My curiosity spiked one night when she was at the club; I looked at her in a different light. She has a line in her stand up about being bisexual, and I was like ‘Oh, my God – I’m totally curious!’ It was always on my subconscious. I thought if I were to fool around with a girl it would be her. I didn’t know I would end up marrying her!” (audio below)

New York

Eman knew that New York City was the place to be for standup comedy. Once a year, she would head down to NYC to do a show. It was perfect when she met Jess because she had the same idea about the city. Both Eman and Jess, as comedians, agreed that New York was a place they could both grow as comedians. Besides, Eman had always dreamed of moving to the US. She grew up obsessed with Beverly Hills 90210 and often fantasized about going to an American college by the beach.

They arranged a trip to New York City for a five-month “trial period”, staying in a small studio apartment. This trip was an excellent test for their relationship, and they passed. As Jess remembers,

“It became clear that we were going to do this together, and we were going to do life together.” (audio below)

Marriage

It also became clear that they wanted to move to the US more permanently. They decided to try and get green cards. Their lawyer suggested that Eman apply, and Jess come as her spouse. This complicated Jess’s plan. She already had the ring, and the proposal all planned out! In the end, Jess still proposed but did end up going to New York as Eman’s spouse.

They married at City Hall in Toronto in 2015. Jess’s father had just passed away, so she was a “complete disaster” emotionally, but is thankful they did it for the sake of the green card. 

“In our wedding photos, it looks like Eman is taking me hostage.”

A year and a half later, they had a proper wedding in Montreal [see the above photo]. Jess’s mom helped throw a beautiful wedding party. It was a “real cultural mishmash,” with Jewish traditions, Arabic traditions, mixed in with Peruvian food and culture. They did the hora and the dabka. As Jess remembers,

“We had belly dancers come out at the end, and my mom got down with them. I may have proposed to Eman, but at the wedding, I was full bride.”

They made the official move to NYC in April of 2016. Eman describes New York City as tough, gross, filthy, but also unique, fashionable, and colorful. 

“Originality is so embraced in New York City. You meet such interesting people who probably left where they are from so they could come here and express themselves fully. It is a beautiful liberal bubble where we think Hillary Clinton is president of this town.” (audio below)

Future

Eman tries to perform every single night, sometimes even more than one show in a night. She gets rusty quickly, so being on stage regularly is her way of staying sharp. Eventually, she hopes to have a stable income from comedy (and fame and fortune of course).

Audio: Eman discussing her and Jess’s relationship on stage at the New York Comedy Club

In regards to America’s future, Eman isn’t too sure. She wants to be an idealist and think that liberal-minded people will win in the end.

“I want to believe this is the last of ignorance, but I look at the future, and I am so worried. I don’t know if evil wins in the end, but I feel like that is what’s winning right now.”

Update: Since the interview, Eman and Jess have a new daughter (puppy) named Esther Honey, their Crave Comedy Special The El-Salomons: Marriage of Convenience launched and they have been creating awesome cartoons about their lives together over on Instagram.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes have been edited for clarity and brevity.

Amal’s Immigration Story – Khartoum, Sudan to New Haven, Connecticut

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Sudan

Amal remembers Sudan as sunny, wild, and breathtakingly beautiful, and the Sudanese people, as very giving. 

Amal’s grandmother, Souad Kalafala, whose name means “happiness”, took care of Amal when she was growing up. 

“She taught me how to cook, clean, and organize everything. She also taught me how to trust myself and how to plan for my future.”

Amal realized as a child that she had a real talent for painting. She started using the ink of henna, something popular in Sudan, to do her drawings. Amal especially loves doing henna for brides and grooms, a tradition at Sudanese weddings.

Amal met her husband Aamir at the hospital in Khartoum when she was tending to her sick father, and in 2002 she and Aamir married. She had a good job working at the Bank of Khartoum, and Aamir was a taxi driver. 

Danger

In 2008 the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM) invaded Khartoum. Both parties, the JEM rebels, and the Sudanese government’s army wore similar military outfits, which made it very difficult for anyone to distinguish between the two. While the conflict was ongoing, a group of men entered Aamir’s taxi, and he drove them to their destination. The next thing he knew, Aamir had been captured and jailed by the Sudanese National Intelligence. They accused Aamir of being a member of the JEM rebels, but he was only a taxi driver doing his job.

“I was imprisoned and tortured for a very long time.”

Fleeing to Egypt

Later that year, Aamir escaped from prison, and together the family fled to Egypt with their four-year-old son Ahmed Amir in tow. The five years they spent in Egypt were extremely difficult on Amal and Aamir. When they arrived in Egypt, Aamir was “completely broken” from the torture he had endured – so bad that at one point, he had to be hospitalized. Amal reflects on how long it took for Aamir to get healthy and start communicating again. Despite the terrible memories they have from Egypt, Amal says she met many kind Egyptians.

Their son Ahmed Amir who lived there from age four to age nine, remembers it differently than his parents.

“It was really fun in Egypt! My favorite memory was in a place called Alexandria. I remember how my father taught me how to swim and tried to teach me how to float.”

In Egypt, Amal’s family applied to the United Nations as asylum seekers. After applying, they noticed an improvement in their medical care, and Ahmed Amir was finally able to go to school. For five years, they lived in Egypt, waiting and hoping they would be able to restart their lives somewhere else soon.

Connecticut

Before leaving Egypt, they found out that their new home would be the United States. Amal and her family landed in Connecticut in November 2013. Staff from IRIS (Integrated Refugee and Immigrant Services), a refugee resettlement agency that helped bring their family to the US, were at the airport waiting. They brought Amal, Aamir, and Ahmed Aamir to their new apartment. That first morning in America was the first time any of them had seen or touched snow. 

“I woke up, and I thought Americans were crazy! I had never seen snow in my life so I thought I saw flour, and it was some cultural tradition that they threw flour on the ground and everything, but then my mom explained it was snow. Then I went outside and I wasn’t wearing anything heavy. I froze in no time! It was really cold outside, and inside it was really warm. It was a really good day.” (audio below)

IRIS

IRIS has had a lasting positive impact on Amal and her family. According to Amal, since picking her family up at the airport, IRIS has been with them “step by step.”

“IRIS was like a big mom for us.” (audio below)

The morning after they arrived in New Haven, they were driven to the IRIS building where they met the staff. Amal will never forget how they were all smiling. Sometimes weekly and often daily, Amal and her family would go to IRIS if they had any problems. 

According to director Chris George, IRIS is not a typical resettlement agency. It doesn’t want to only be “an assembly line of services during the initial months of a refugees’ arrival”. IRIS’s team realizes that refugees need more sustained help. so they provide programming that other agencies might consider extras, like health care, employment services, and an English language program with an early learning program.  (audio below)

“We have these resources because the community knows about us and supports us.”

From Chris George’s experience, Connecticut, and specifically New Haven, is a welcoming place to newcomers. The local community sees the benefits of having a diverse population. (audio below)

Adjusting

Adjusting to life in Connecticut was challenging. Amal went from survival mode in Egypt – where the only thing she was thinking about was the safety of her husband and son – to the United States, and finally being able to imagine a future. Amal found herself always anxious that she was going to lose this newfound safety. (audio below)

Despite being in a much safer environment, it has been challenging for Aamir and Amal to find work and communicate in English. The English Amal had learned in Egypt was British, and people didn’t seem to understand what she was saying at first. Aside from studying English, Amal works part-time in the Whole Foods produce section and loves her supervisor, and coworkers. Her husband, Aamir, works full time at a local restaurant as a dishwasher. He is often on the night shift and usually works 50 or 60 hours a week. He wants to go to school to improve his English, but he doesn’t have any time right now.

Ahmed Amir started fourth grade after arriving. He remembers being in ESL (English as a Second Language) class with Mr. Zach, someone whose patience and kindness helped him adjust. Ahmed Amir couldn’t believe how many different countries his classmates were from.

“Everybody treated each other equally like nothing was different no matter what race you were or color. Everybody was treated the same.”

Ahmed Amir has developed a real love for basketball since moving to the US, something he would never have played in Sudan. His favorite subjects are geography and history and he is especially excited to be learning Spanish this year, so he can communicate with some of his new Spanish-speaking friends in their language. (audio below)

Uncle Adam

They have one other person living in their house, and they refer to him as Uncle Adam. From the Darfur region of Sudan, Uncle Adam had been living in Libya and working as a tailor. When civil war broke out in 2011, he sought refuge at Salum Camp, on the border between Egypt and Libya. Like Amal’s family, he was resettled to New Haven in 2013 but was immediately admitted to hospital for two major surgeries. Today Uncle Adam is blind in one eye, has diabetes, a tumor in his head, and kidney problems. 

After arriving in New Haven, Uncle Adam lived for three years in a home with other single men who didn’t have a family. Most of these men in the house were young and busy working, so they didn’t have time to help him. Uncle Adam and Aamir are not from the same family or tribe, but Aamir saw that Uncle Adam was lonely and started visiting him regularly. Aamir would cook for him, do his laundry, shave his beard, and cut his nails. Aamir could see Uncle Adam wasn’t happy there, so he started bringing Uncle Adam to the house for Amal’s Sudanese cooking. (audio below)

Amal and Aamir realized they could take care of Uncle Adam on a full-time basis. With the help of IRIS, they did all the paperwork to become legally responsible for the care of Uncle Adam. When they first were resettled to New Haven, they lived in a one-bedroom house, but the judge said they needed to change homes for Uncle Adam to have his own room. This change meant an increase in rent, but they are managing.

Faith

Prayer and religion continue to be a big part of their family’s life in America and it’s something that they share with Uncle Adam.

Audio: The family and Uncle Adam praying at home

“We take Uncle Adam to pray at the mosque so that he can see other Sudanese people. Now he is one of the community, and he is doing better.”

Amal says the saddest part of Uncle Adam’s story is that he was trying everything to get his wife to the USA. With the help of a lawyer from IRIS, they started doing all the documents and coordinating with the US embassy in Khartoum. She got her visa, and one week before leaving for the US, she passed away. Uncle Adam was never able to see her again. All four of his children are still in Sudan, and they don’t have the financial means to visit him. 

Ambitions

While in Egypt, Aamir learned how to weld. Someday he would love to work as an engineer or pipeline inspector in the future instead of being a dishwasher. Amal wants to improve her language skills, so she can know more about the people she meets, and they can know her. On top of working at Whole Foods, Amal is studying English, as well as culinary arts, with the hopes that it will land her a good job in the field.

“We need to improve ourselves, our language, and be one of them [Americans]. We came to this country, have our own culture and traditions, but we need to know about these people. At first, we felt like guests, but I think after five years, we are a part of this community.” (audio below)

Future

Amal’s dream for the future is for her son Ahmed Amir to be happy, and seize the opportunities that she knows he has in the United States. 

“I think he is very lucky because of the education he gets here. There are more opportunities here if you want to improve yourself with knowledge. Everything is available here, unless you don’t want it.” (audio below)

Ahmed Amir dreams of one day traveling to Sudan to see his grandmothers and uncles again. 

“I see them over the phone, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen them in person.”

*Update: Since the interview, Amal moved her family to Vermont for an incredible educational opportunity – private high school education for Ahmed Amir. Uncle Adam stayed in Connecticut, at the recommendation of his doctors.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Ihab’s Immigration Story – Basra, Iraq to Harrisonburg, Virginia

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Ihab is the son of a Jordanian father and an Iraqi mother. His paternal family – the Sadoons – have historically been bedouins distributed between Jordan, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait. His father was an orphan, living in a society that did not welcome his people. Despite this, at age 18, Ihab’s father was accepted to study medicine at Johns Hopkins and Columbia University.

War

The family was living in Iraq when Ihab was born in 1979, because of the war and the country’s need for doctors. They would move from one place to another, depending on what hospital needed his father the most. For the first ten years of his life, he and his three siblings grew up surrounded by war.

“I remember our house was hit once with a bomb. I remember packing so many times – packing our stuff and going from one place to another. And I remember losing my friends. We didn’t live more than two or three years in one place – we kept moving, which was very frustrating – it just became so much harder for me to make friends. It’s not worth it to make friends, then lose them in a year or two. We had to leave so many places.” (audio below)

Dentistry

In the 1990s, the economy was failing in Iraq, so the family moved to Jordan, and that’s where Ihab attended university to become a dentist. In 2007 he was accepted to NYU’s graduate program in implant surgery. He did an internship in Maryland and a residency at Columbia University in NYC. Ihab planned on returning to the Middle East, but with the Arab Spring happening, and his daughter in the US, he decided to stay. 

While away from his region of birth, Ihab keeps letters from his late father and his sister close to his heart.

“Every time I feel bad, I open these letters. I start reading and feel good. My dad always reminded me that I came here for a reason – ‘don’t waste your time; do not forget that there are lots of people that are waiting to be helped by you. Always be kind to others. Don’t forget me.’”

Other than his father, he has always been close to his younger sister. Ihab cherishes a letter she wrote saying how much she loves him and can’t wait to travel with him.

“I was having a tough time with my marriage, and my sister always tried to say positive things and remind me to focus on my daughter.”

While living in New York, Ihab became very interested in outdoor activities like hiking, snowboarding, and biking. It was challenging in NYC to get out into nature. This changed in 2013 when he moved to Virginia, which has plentiful and easily accessible outdoor recreation opportunities. 

Harrisonburg

When Ihab first moved to Harrisonburg, Virginia, it didn’t feel like a welcoming community, but that has since changed.

“I feel like Harrisonburg is becoming a good hub for the multicultural community. Once people know you they open their arms, but it takes a while. For the first couple of years, people weren’t welcoming. Locals are not used to foreigners that much. If you go to the countryside where my patients are from, they are not used to accents or different colors.”

Above: A gift Ihab’s daughter made him for the religious holiday Eid

Diversity

At the mosque he attends on Fridays, almost everyone is a refugee. In New York, he was used to meeting people in his community who were highly educated professionals. The Harrisonburg immigrant community is mostly farmers, taxi drivers, and factory workers. He believes this diversity within the community sometimes leads to cultural misunderstandings and has brought both good and bad to Harrisonburg.

“It’s like if you take a guy from West Virginia and dropped him off in India.”

Ihab is trying to get more involved in the Muslim community and local interfaith initiatives, especially after the election in 2016. He is happy that when local churches and synagogues gather, they invite the mosque now.

“We need to show we are part of the community and that we belong.” 

Specialist

Ihab works as a dental surgeon at the hospital, primarily with geriatric patients, as well as covering the emergency room. In New York, he treated a lot of gunshot victims or people in traffic accidents, but here he is doing a lot of extractions.

“It’s not crazy here like it used to be in New York.”

When Ihab first moved to Harrisonburg, a lot of patients were referred to him because of his specialty. Some of them thought he was too young, and that they couldn’t trust him because of his accent and background. He would give these patients their treatment plan, but they would go to someone else for a second opinion – the local “American” doctor who grew up in Virginia. Ihab explains how it was funny because that doctor would usually say, “no, you need to go back to him [Ihab] – he’s the specialist!”

“They tried to run away from the Middle Eastern guy with an accent. Now a lot of those patients don’t want to see anyone but me!” (audio below)

When Ihab goes bow hunting in the countryside, he knows people look at him funny because of his appearance and accent. Today a lot of the locals know him as “The Jordanian.”

Above [right]: Ihab’s homemade venison sausage

“The more time I spend here, the more bond I feel I have with the locals.”

Ihab has faced discrimination in Iraq and Jordan, so when he was leaving for the United States, he was worried. However, the country surprised him. The US is the place where he feels most at home.

Daughter

Ihab didn’t plan on becoming a father when he did. At the time of his daughter’s birth, he wasn’t economically stable, and his marriage was already in trouble. He wasn’t sure he even wanted a child.

“To tell you the truth, my daughter is the best thing that ever happened in my life. She protected me from committing suicide. I had lots of pressure in my career and then the divorce. She is the only thing that makes me really happy.” (audio below)

Ihab has his daughter over every other weekend and for most of the summer.

“I wait so passionately for these days. This is my fun time. My daughter does everything I do – we bike together, we kayak together, we climb together. Being a father – I’m so blessed to be that guy. This little thing comes and isn’t planned and becomes the pleasure of your life.”

Father

Ihab hopes to set a good example for his daughter, like how his father did for him.

“My dad was my role model. He was always willing to help people. I just wanted to be like him.”

Ihab’s father came to visit him in Harrisonburg before he passed away in 2016.

“When I lost him, I was in Kenya on a mission trip. I was going to come back for his funeral, but if he were alive, he would have told me to go back and help people. This is what he would like me to do.” (audio below)

“This is a letter my dad sent me before he died. He asked me to open it after he died. He was writing his will. Every week I open and read it. ‘We are all going to die. Do good things and try to be good to family and your patients.’ He was a religious guy, so he wrote, ‘God will always take care of you.’” (audio below)

Travel

Ihab has traveled a lot. He has three passports filled with stamps.  

“Every stamp has a story.”

India is one place that continues to have a lasting impact on Ihab. Even though people have so little materially, they seemed happy. It was shocking. He returned to America, knowing that instead of buying luxury items, that money could feed people in need. He subsequently began to donate to those who are less fortunate, and he buys only what he needs.

 “India changed my lifestyle forever. I try not to be luxurious at all and try my best to remind those around me of this. I want to share this with his daughter.”

Future

Ihab is hopeful for the future. He used to be argumentative and willing to fight. Today, he believes if you speak softly, others will eventually understand you. In response to the current administration’s rhetoric towards Arabs and Muslims, many of Ihab’s patients have reached out with compassion to let Ihab know that they don’t believe what they hear from this administration about his people. They want Ihab to know that the president does not speak for them.

“Lots of immigrants don’t have a life anywhere other than here. They are more American than Americans themselves, because they don’t take it for granted. They are great assets for the American mosaic.”

“Regarding my future – the road is open. Sometimes I think about taking a few years off and going on medical missions. I don’t know what I’m going to do in my life. If I’m here in the US, I will help bridge the gap between the right and left of the aisle.”

Ihab says he doesn’t have many childhood friends because he didn’t live in one place long enough while growing up. This inability to stay put for long has continued into adulthood. Ihab has been in the US for a little over a decade and has already lived in four different states.  

“I am living like a modern bedouin. I get bored and always find an excuse to move. I’m not sure how long I’ll stay in Virginia, but I’m definitely enjoying my life. There is lots of goodness in the people here. They try to be good neighbors.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love (and passion). If you would like to support the project’s continuation it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Nusrat’s Immigration Story – Karbala, Iraq to Silver Spring, Maryland

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Family History

Nusrat’s parents were cousins with roots in Iran, her father born in India and her mother in Iraq. After they met, Nusrat’s father wanted her mother to return with him to India, where he was working, but she didn’t want to go. He left for India without her, and she remained in Iraq, pregnant with Nusrat. Nusrat’s parents decided to see each other again when she was five. This reunion required a sea journey of ten days and nights, from the small city of Karbala, Iraq to the big city of Bombay (now Mumbai), India. 

Nusrat never forgot her father’s graceful manner.

“Everybody loved him. Father always used to take my advice. It was me he used to consult. I was 16 years old when he bought a new house, and he asked me if it was a good idea. My mother didn’t like that.”

India

Nusrat lived for four years in Bombay, which was very different than life in Iraq, but she liked it. She especially loved the delicious Indian food their cook made.

“India has unbelievable art and food. It’s very rich. I don’t know why some people would call it the poorest country in the world?”

While Nusrat liked living in India, her mother did not. They visited Iran every summer, and every time it was harder and harder for her mother to return to India. She couldn’t adjust to the structured lifestyle full of expectations from relatives in India. Eventually, when Nusrat was nine, they moved to Tehran, Iran, and lived there for two decades.

Education

Nusrat’s ambition was always to go to college. In Iran at this time, 100,000 students took this intense exam, and only 4000 would be accepted. Luckily, Nusrat was one of the chosen few, and she started studying to be a history teacher. After graduation, the government would assign where you would teach, and this was a problem for her parents. They didn’t want their daughter going alone somewhere to teach. Her father gave her two choices: either work at the National Iran Oil company as he did or go to London, in the United Kingdom to further her studies.

 “I went to London to study computers. That was my first time being separated from my mother and father.”

In 1974, Nusrat completed her degree in computers. Upon her return, she began working as an advanced computer consultant for the Iranian military in Tehran, digitizing their payroll. There weren’t many people in Iran who understood IBM computers as she did.

Meeting her Husband

While working in Tehran, the government paired her with a contractor from the US Marines. They chose Nusrat to train the American as she could speak English. 

Her American counterpart, from Takoma Park, Maryland, invited her to go with him to the Caspian Sea on holiday. Nusrat needed her parents’ permission, so he had to ask her father first. When her parents met this American man, they “fell in love with him,” something Nusrat didn’t expect from her conservative Muslim family. He tried to learn Farsi to speak with them, and he converted to Islam. However, for Nusrat, the relationship was becoming toxic. Still, they married and continued living in Tehran for a few years. 

Yvonne

Her first trip to the US was to give birth to her daughter Yvonne. Nusrat’s husband wanted his children to be born in America.

“It was Dec 26th, 1976 – snow was everywhere. The airplane landed at Ronald Reagan Airport, and it was beautiful. I was anxious to see his mother. As soon as she saw me, she said, ‘she’s colored. Send her back’! From that point on, it was an odd situation.” (audio below)

Nusrat’s daughter Yvonne [on left in the above photo] was born with twelve toes. Nusrat’s husband blamed her for this abnormality, saying it was because her parents were cousins. As Yvonne remembers,

“Father beat the hell out of my mother. He wasn’t even there when I was born, but when he saw her for the first time after I was born, he beat her up. He believed that she had given birth to a retarded child.”

Revolution

Nusrat returned to Iran after giving birth to her daughter. It was clear that things were changing in the country – the Iranian Revolution was brewing. In 1979 they fled to the US as part of a mass exodus of Americans.

“We were the last American people working over there. They took us with a Pan-American company airplane. Rushed us with military honor from a military station to the airport for protection. We got to Switzerland, turned on the TV, and saw that the government of the Shah had been disposed of, and the Ayatollah restored.” (audio below)

Maryland

Nusrat and her husband bought a house in Takoma Park, Maryland, where they would live for a decade.

“Takoma Park was a safe haven for interracial couples to live. It has always been a place that welcomes diversity.”

However, the emotional and physical violence from Nusrat’s husband didn’t stop once they were living in the US.

Yvonne remembers,

“It wasn’t easy for her being an immigrant here, and navigating the court system. My father would beat my mother up, the police would come, they would tell my father, ‘I’m sorry for bothering you.’ She called – they could see bruises on her face! That’s why she turned to religion for support. It was very hard to be a child and watch my mother done very wrong by my father trying to navigate a system that was not made for her. It was created for her to fail.” (audio below)

Furthermore, Nusrat’s mother-in-law would call her “nigger” at every opportunity and would feed her pork on purpose.

Above: “A History of Civilization” by William Duran translated from English to Farsi. Nusrat’s father mailed the set to her – three books at a time.

Despite the abuse, Nusrat never told her parents back in Iran that things were anything but perfect.

 “I never said a word to my mother or father. I never told anybody.” (audio below)

Homeless

When Nusrat finally got divorced, it left her and her three children homeless for nine months. They bounced from hotel, to motel, to the homes of people from the mosque.

All of this trauma made it very hard for Nusrat to be there for her children. When Yvonne was in tenth grade, her highschool English teacher adopted her.

Faith

After her divorce, Nusrat started getting more involved with the other Muslim women in her community. She met a woman from Guyana who asked her to teach the Quran. More and more people wanted her to teach them about Islam. For two decades, Nusrat taught at and hosted religious gatherings in her home. She would set up the prayer rug and have a Qur’anic study circle where they would pray and eat.

Audio: Nusrat reading a Sura regarding the five pillars of Islam

“When my mother got this house in Silver Spring, she wanted to devote it to God. I didn’t appreciate it when I was younger, but now I appreciate her commitment to something constructive.”

Community Leader

People from different Muslim communities around Maryland started asking Nusrat to perform marriage ceremonies and the Janazah funeral prayer. She would go through her grandfather’s books, trying to learn the best ways to perform these ceremonies. (audio below)

The first wedding Nusrat conducted was for the daughter of a friend. The bride’s father was Muslim, and her mother was Catholic. The father wanted the ceremony to have an Islamic component, so Nusrat performed the rituals in the church after the priest performed the Catholic tradition.

“I read this Ayah when I read verses of the Quran for marriage. ‘God created man and woman and put mercy and love between their hearts.’” (audio below)

Imam?

Nusrat never thought she would do all of the things she has done, specifically within Islam. While Nusrat didn’t call herself an Imam, Yvonne says that is essentially what she became.

“There have been some female Imams who have wanted to lead the Friday prayer and take on roles men have in Islam. My mother never wanted to be in that role. She has laid very low. I think that her story is compelling and there is a lot to learn from it in this day and age – politically, and culturally. It can open up a lot of people’s eyes about women in Islam. My mother would not be able to be an Imam in Iran. That happened here in this country and that’s pretty cool.” (audio below)

The Future

Nusrat lives with her daughter Yvonne and her two granddaughters who love to joke around and fill their home with youthful energy.

Audio: Nusrat’s granddaughters having fun with the recording equipment

“My hopes and my dreams – I have nothing left. I hope to help raise my grandchildren to become good people. I tried very hard for the Muslim community’s children.” (audio below)

Above: Photos (left to right) of Nusrat’s graduation, her son who served in Afghanistan, and her grandchildren

“I did a lot for Islam, but my intention was never to become anybody – I just went through whatever it was that was in my way. I intend to help raise my grandchildren with what I was taught, but also prepare them for how they need to be over here in America today, not 100 years ago.”

As Yvonne says,

“I was thinking about the American dream. What does that mean to me and my mother? People come here to America for a better life. Is it unpatriotic if you come here and you don’t have a better life? That your life is shittier? Does that mean you are ungrateful?” (audio below)

Sacrifice

Nusrat was happier in Iran than she has been in the United States. Yvonne understands the sacrifices her mother made.

“She was fine in her country and she didn’t have dreams or aspirations to come to America. She left what she knew to face beatings and discrimination. I hope that before she leaves the earth, she does feel that coming here for me was worth it.” (audio below)

*Update: Nusrat died on January 4th, 2019. On May 11th, 2019, after more than a decade of work, Yvonne finally finished writing her novel “Crying Girl”,  which chronicles her mother’s incredible life.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Sophia’s Immigration Story – Lahore, Pakistan to Little Rock, Arkansas

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Childhood

Sophia remembers a happy childhood in an upper-middle-class family in Lahore, the capital of the Pakistani province of Punjab. She was as privileged as could be – for a girl.

“Pakistan is still a very traditional patriarchal culture, and there is only so much a girl can do. My family allowed me a lot, but there were still very strict boundaries.”

Intellectual Pursuits

The men in Sophia’s family had a long tradition of coming to the United States for higher education, and Sophia wanted to study in America too.

“I could see there was a lot more equality and freedom for women in the United States, and they could pursue intellectual pursuits with fewer barriers than in Pakistan.”

Sophia completed her bachelor’s degree in Pakistan. She started looking at foreign universities, but she knew her father wouldn’t let her go if she didn’t get married first. She had an arranged marriage to a man who was already going to America to do a Ph.D. Together, in 1994, at age 20, Sophia and her husband went to Penn State. They then moved to Utah to continue studying. At the University of Utah, Sophia became the school’s first-ever female Muslim valedictorian.

Children

Sophia had two children and became active at their school and in local organizations. She was a full-time professional volunteer and very happy.

“I was in awe of all the opportunities we had here. The ability to do whatever you wanted to do. If you really work hard and struggle, there are no barriers in America. I still believe that. You can achieve anything. The opportunity is there for everybody – it just depends how badly you want it.” (audio below)


Above: Sophia inside the Arkansas House of Prayer, an interfaith haven for silent contemplation.

September 11th

“My life really changed after 9/11.”

Sophia still remembers the way she felt when she heard on TV that Muslims were responsible for 9/11 – that Muslims hate American freedoms. She asked herself,

“Is my faith really out there to usurp others’ freedoms?”

After 9/11, some of her friends decided not to wear their hijabs when they traveled, out of fear of discrimination. Sophia used to teach Sunday School at the local mosque in Utah and would only wear a headscarf when she went there. She remembers her husband asking her not to wear it anymore.

Faith

Before 9/11, religion was a small part of Sophia’s life. After the tragedy, she found herself on a spiritual journey to learn about her faith. Everything she learned growing up in Pakistan had cultural elements of patriarchy, which she knew was not her faith. Sophia also knew that what they were saying on TV about Muslims wasn’t representative of her faith either.

In 2010 Sophia started wearing a headscarf every day despite her husband trying to convince her otherwise.

Little Rock

Sophia and her husband moved the family to Little Rock, Arkansas, in 2011 so he could work at the university, and Sophia got into a master’s program. Sophia is an economist and strategic planner by profession. While working as a consultant in her field, she never stopped getting involved with passion projects on the side.

In Arkansas, Sophia found herself doing less and less consultant work and more and more interfaith work. She wanted to help those around her understand Muslims better.

Interfaith Center

In 2012, an Episcopal Church in Little Rock invited Sophia to help lead the Interfaith Center. It was perfect timing. The goal of the center is to help reduce fear about different world religions, promote cross-cultural learning, and create a more inclusive, harmonious, and pluralistic culture in Arkansas. 

“We want to move from diversity to pluralism. Diversity means people from different faith and race backgrounds live in the same community. It could be good, or it could be bad. However, if diverse communities do not engage with each other, it could be toxic. Pluralism is when diverse communities are actively engaging with each other with a commitment to the common good. They communicate and create an inclusive community where every voice is heard, and there are no ‘diverse slums’ in the community.” (audio below)

Internalized Oppression

One night, around the dinner table, Sophia’s daughter announced that classmates at school had called her brother a terrorist. Her son said,

“Mom, just ignore it – it’s no big deal. Everyone thinks Muslims are terrorists.”

Her daughter told Sophia she had taken care of the Hindu boy by insulting him back. Her daughter was proud, but Sophia was mortified. Sophia’s son was internalizing this oppression, and her daughter was turning into a bully! (audio below)

Service

This incident at the dinner table inspired Sophia’s first initiative – an interfaith youth group. The idea is to encourage dialogue as the youth from different faith backgrounds complete service projects together. Both of Sophia’s children were members of the group.

“The goal is to give these youth the communication tools that my children lacked that night at the dinner table, and some of our politicians still lack.”

The Interfaith Center has also created an interfaith supper club called “Common Table,” where people of different faiths share a delicious meal. There’s also a weeklong Interfaith Summer Camp for elementary students, which is the first of its kind in the USA. The Center also hosts interfaith prayer services where people of all different faiths come and pray together in their own way.

“The whole idea is to create platforms where people can come engage with a purpose in mind and commit towards the common good. That could be making sure a neighborhood park is safe, or children are safe in school. People of different faiths need to come together for a common purpose.” (audio below)

Assumptions

Sophia is aware of how many people don’t expect her to be in the spaces she’s in. At work, when she was warming her lunch in the cafeteria, a new congregation member came in, saw Sophia, and seemed a little taken aback.

“He asked me, ‘Can I help you?’ I started laughing a bit and replied, ‘No, I’m fine – I’m right at home. May I help you?’ We have these mental barriers we have created about who belongs where, and they are becoming more distinct and harsh since this past election – where Muslims belong, where Christians belong. If we see a Christian in a mosque and we say what are you doing here – that needs to change in America. Our public spaces need to be more inclusive. That’s my hope, and I will continue working at it until the last day of my life.” (audio below)

Her Mosque

When Sophia’s family arrived in Little Rock in 2011, the town only had one mosque. She found it to be too “mainstream” and a “little conservative.” Sophia, a Sufi, dreamed of opening a more inclusive, open-minded, and progressive mosque in Little Rock. She wanted to create a welcoming and non-judgemental space for all types of Muslims, as well as non-Muslims.

They organized the building of Sophia’s mosque at her church For a year, the planning committee met there every single Sunday. The interfaith community has been key in helping her create this mosque.

In 2016 Sophia bought the property and embarked on this lifelong project. There is still lots of work to be done (like fixing the hole in the roof pictured above).

“God willed it to happen. There was a need for a mosque like this in Arkansas.”

2016

Like 2001, the year 2016 had a profound impact on Sophia’s family. The night of the presidential election, Sophia’s son called and asked her not to go out wearing her headscarf.  (audio below)

“Fear is a very real part of Muslims’ lives. They do not feel safe when their wives, mothers or daughters wear scarves and go out in public spaces.”

“The founders of America came here for refuge from religious persecution, so facing religious persecution in America is against basic American ideals. I think I have a responsibility to protect the freedoms I have enjoyed – and protect them for my children.”

Challenges

A lot has happened to the Muslim community since she moved to Arkansas. Sophia will never forget the truck that pulled up outside the other mosque in Little Rock, displaying pictures of a bleeding Jesus on the cross. The people in the vehicle were yelling at them to “Go home!”.

“Safety is a big concern for Muslims. We are at a major intersection here. My congregation asks me if we can put a US flag outside, and can you make sure there is security here because people don’t feel safe? Can you put a fence around here? No, I am never going to put a fence around here and tell the neighbors that we are different from you and need to protect ourselves from you. We are going to remain open. The doors will be open, but yes, we will put a flag out there, so people know we are Americans.”

Sophia never expected this to be her path – becoming an interfaith leader. She would never have dreamt of opening a mosque, emphasizing how “Women don’t lead mosques in Islam!” 

“I think by nature I was always a rebellious person. It was in my nature to always challenge. I was not happy to see gender-differentials in my society.”

Today, Sophia’s children are attending university, and she starts her days working at the church and then finishes them working at the mosque she built.

Welcome in America

The director of an independent film about a young Syrian girl who goes to Little Rock Central High School asked Sophia to play the mayor of Little Rock in her movie. Sophia rejected the offer at first saying,

“You can never have a scarf-wearing mayor in Arkansas!”

In the end, she took the role of the mayor in the film.

Sophia continues her work of promoting pluralism, trying to help create a future where everyone is not only welcome in her mosque, but also welcome in America.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Youness’s Immigration Story – Fez, Morocco to Burlington, Vermont

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Tour Guide

Youness was studying English and working as a tour guide in Fez, Morocco [see photo below] when he gave a tour to a woman from Vermont. It was this encounter that set him on a path to the United States in the year 2000 and marriage.

Audio: Youness and his daughters discussing changes to the amount of hair on his head

Vermont

Youness will never forget how amazed he was by the sheer quantity of snow that first winter in Vermont.

Above: Youness’s first winter in Vermont with his buried car (audio below).
Above: Barbecuing outside in the snow for his first Eid in Vermont (audio below).

During his first year in the US, Youness started coaching the local youth in soccer. He loves soccer and grew up playing in Morocco.

Meeting Lamiae

After he and his first wife divorced, Youness remarried a Moroccan woman named Lamiae, who he knew from university, and together they had their two daughters.

Audio: Youness describing how he met his wife

Acceptance

After being here for almost two decades, Youness views Vermont as an accepting, and peaceful state. He thinks it is a place where Muslims are respected. 

“I’ve never been harassed, discriminated against, or racially profiled. We have a few interfaith groups – they come to our mosque, and we go to their synagogues or churches. I fell in love with this place.”

Audio: Youness describing his love for Vermont

Islamic Society of Vermont

Youness misses Morocco, especially his social life there. It is at the Islamic Society of Vermont (ISVT) where Youness has made connections and become engaged with the local community. He is chairman of both ISVT’s Board of Trustees and the Islamic School.

The Islamic Society of Vermont serves a few thousand people and first opened its doors in 1997.  Aside from a small house where some members of the Somali community prays, this building is the only mosque in the entire state of Vermont. It serves Muslims from all over the world, many who were refugees resettled in the area.

Audio: The sermon from Friday prayer at the Islamic Society of Vermont

The idea of ISVT started when a few of the society’s founders were praying in a house. Saint Michael’s, a private Roman Catholic college, was made aware and invited them to come to pray in their church. As the population of Muslims in the area grew, they sought out a building of their own. First, they purchased one-third of the current structure, and then a few years ago, they collected the necessary funds and bought the rest.

Audio: Friday prayer at the Islamic Society of Vermont mosque
Above: Youness’ daughters enjoy looking at old photos of their father

“I want to share my story because I want other people to know that if you work hard, get married, and have kids, you can achieve happiness anywhere in the world.”

Youness owns a taxi service in Vermont called Star Cab, does IT on the side, and referees soccer.

Tradition

When friends or family come over, in traditional Moroccan fashion, Youness serves tea alongside cookies, dates, and nuts. This is a tradition his daughters enjoy.

Youness has made a home for himself and his family in Burlington, and he has no plans of leaving. His custom-made traditional wooden table, Quran, and Moroccan decorations provide him with a sense of home in the USA.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.