immigration

Armando’s Immigration Story – Acapulco, Mexico to Los Angeles, California

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Acapulco

“When I tell people I’m from Acapulco, people are like ‘Oh my God, what are you doing here?’ I am not from the part of Acapulco that you see in the movies. I am from the segregated area where all the poor people live and go in to work for the tourists every day.”

One of the fondest memories Armando has of Acapulco is being out in the street playing football with the other kids. Although he had no shoes, he felt free.

Childhood

Armando’s mother and father divorced when he was four, and his father left. Armando was raised by a single mother who worked many different jobs, usually as a waitress or a cook. While she was working, Armando would live with neighbors, uncles, or with his grandma. He had a conservative Catholic upbringing. He remembers being six years old and dressing like a priest for a performance [see photo below].

When Armando was twelve, his mother met his step-father. She stopped working and had his little brother. They were still living in poverty, but their life improved significantly.

Discrimination

It became apparent to Armando early on that the school system in Mexico discriminated against poor people. He remembers how the teachers wanted the kids to wear black shoes for class and white shoes for physical education. His family didn’t have money for either color of shoes.

“My mom said, ‘we are going to buy you the shoes, but we are not going to eat.’ That’s why all my family members, cousins, friends, uncles, stopped going to school. We normalize that. It is normal to quit school when you are 10, 11, 12, 13, and then get a job.” 

Above: Armando always wanted rollerblades but couldn’t afford them. His cousins all pitched in and bought him a pair for his birthday.

Film

When Armando was seven, his mom managed to rent a small room, and the first significant new item she bought was a black and white television. Armando remembers getting hooked on films like Casablanca and Gone with the Wind. When he was nine, Armando went to a music festival at the beach where the presenters were all soap opera stars. For the first time, Armando realized how white all of these stars were – even though they portrayed poor people like himself on television. At 12, Armando wanted to see the Lion King so severely that he snuck out of the house and went to the movies by himself. By 14, he had his first job at Walmart – packing people’s groceries into their cars for tips – and while there, stealing movie magazines from the store.

Pretty People

“In my mind, I thought all celebrities were like me, but here I saw that they were blond, blue-eyed, light-skinned people. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that all the actors I admired on soap operas were white. My cousins were asking for autographs. Then I understood that artists and celebrities are white people – they are pretty people. We are brown and not going to be on TV – we are ugly people.”(audio below)

Armando grew up in a culture where people asked what shade of skin a newborn had. If you married someone with light skin, there was a common expression – “mejorar la raza” (improve the race). Because of this, he never would have dreamed of working in film, although it was his passion. He believed that careers in the arts were only for wealthy people or white people. If he had told someone his dream was to be a filmmaker, they would have thought he was joking.

Above: Armando at 15, being a chambelan – one of the dancers who accompanies the quinceañera girl.

The Other Side

Armando frequently heard talk about going to “the other side”. It became apparent when someone went to the US. Shortly afterward, their family circumstances would improve – better food, clothes, and perhaps an extension on their house.

One day Armando’s stepfather fell sick, and they had to sell their television and VHS player to pay for a doctor and medicine. As soon as he recovered, his stepfather started planning how he would go to “the other side”. The biggest challenge was always finding someone to sponsor you – meaning someone living in the USA who would loan you the money to pay a “coyote” (the person who helps people cross the border in exchange for money) to help you cross the border. His stepfather could have worked for a decade and still not have enough money, but luckily he found someone to loan him the money. He came to the USA in 1998, and while working as a painter, he made enough money to help Armando’s mom and his two siblings cross. 

“There’s a lot of pain in me against my country. My mom says, ‘I was crossing the border walking at night with my three-year-old son, my six-month-old daughter, and the only thing I was thinking was if one of my children died here I’m staying here.’ How can we accept this kind of thinking and normalize it?” (audio below)

Crossing

At first, Armando didn’t want to go to the USA, since he was living with an aunt, receiving money from his parents in America, and going to school. He quickly realized, though, that the money he was receiving from the USA wasn’t going to be sufficient for him to continue his life in Mexico. Armando told his parents he wanted to cross. They found their son a coyote who Armando met near the border in Sonora, Mexico. 

“I was 18 and naive and thought the USA would have their doors open for me. When I was trying to cross, I felt like my innocence was lost. I saw Mexican police take immigrants’ belongings and assault them. I saw indigenous women from Guatemala and Honduras getting raped so they could get a pass. Women with condoms because in their minds, they already knew what was going to happen to them, and they didn’t want to get pregnant.”

Armando remembers sitting on a Mexican freeway near the border and these big trucks driving by throwing empty beer bottles and trash at them, yelling “adios illegals.”

“That moment for me was defining. I don’t ever want to come back to this country. I was happy to leave.” (audio below)

It took many attempts over three weeks to cross the border before Armando was successful. One day the coyote woke him up at six in the morning, warning him that they would be walking all day.

Risking Everything

“I started seeing clothes, backpacks, and bottles of water in the desert. I was picking up the photographs and turned one around. Women were writing to their husbands, ‘don’t forget about us,’ and ‘I hope God is with you.’ I couldn’t believe this was going on. People risk everything, and some of these families will never see their family members again. I know that I am blessed that we made it.”(audio below)

Next, Armando tried to cross with the coyote in a truck, but it broke down in the desert, in the middle of the night. He remembers being so cold he couldn’t sleep, and then there was a point where it wasn’t cold anymore.

“The coyote touched me and said I was hard like ice. He got scared, and he started throwing all the clothes on top of me, and I couldn’t move. I told him, ‘if something happens to me tell my mom.’ That’s the only time in my whole life where I felt like I was going to die. When I started seeing the first light of the day, it felt so beautiful. I knew I was alive. It was one of the best moments of my life.”

The next time Armando tried to cross was with a larger organization of coyotes, and he was in a truck with 20 other people. At one point in the journey, border patrol saw them, but the driver was somehow able to speed away. 

“At some point, it felt smooth, not rough like the desert and I saw that we were on the freeway and I saw a small house and I was like ‘this is the USA!’ I saw a house that looked like a house in the movies.” 

Trigger

When Armando crossed, he wore this green and white shirt, pants, tennis shoes, and an empty backpack. Looking at this shirt, which his mom has kept safe, brings back a lot of memories.

“Today, she pulled it out of the closet, and as soon as I saw it, I broke down. It brought all of those memories that I have been avoiding all of that pain and traumatic experiences. Looking at that shirt reminds me of all the injustices that me, my mom, and family went through to look for a better life. That shirt is a reminder of the life that I don’t want to go back to if I end up deported. I need to keep that shirt to remind me why I came to this country, so we can continue making a better future for others. Education is the only power we have to fight for a change, telling our stories so people can see our humanity. That shirt is painful to look at.” (audio below)

When he finally got across in 2000, his family met him at a McDonald’s where the coyote received money from his uncle. His mom was waiting there, crying. His family warned him before coming that in America, he should forget his goals of going to school and be ready to work. 

Service Industry

“Learn English so you can get a better job and don’t tell anyone about your undocumented status. All of your goals, forget about them.”

Armando’s first job also happened to be at McDonald’s. 

Above: Armando, age 19, after one year of being in the US. He is in their one-bedroom apartment wearing his uniform for the restaurant where he was working as a cook.

Since starting at McDonald’s, Armando has worked in around 20 restaurants. He began as a dishwasher, then was promoted to cook, then to the front of the house, then a server and bartender.

Undocumented

“Even in your social life, you don’t tell anyone. When people invite you out to a bar, you say you can’t go because you don’t have an ID, and you don’t want to use your Mexican ID. Now with my undocumented friends, we laugh about it. I spent ten years lying and trying to fit in.” (audio below)

In 2011, the manager at the restaurant where he worked called him in, saying that his social security number didn’t match his name. Armando told his manager that his social security number was fake. Armando felt humiliated, embarrassed, and scared. He went home devastated and worried about how he was going to pay that month’s rent. Armando couldn’t tell his mom, and the next day Armando put on his uniform as if he was going to work but instead went to the movies. He did this for three days before his mom realized that something was up. In 2013 the same thing happened again at another job – and that was the last straw for him. Armando decided that he had to get more involved in the undocumented movement.

“That letter was the before and after for me to start speaking up and not be in hiding anymore.”

Unafraid

Armando will never forget watching the 2012 movement of undocumented youth on the streets yelling, “Undocumented! Unafraid”! This civil disobedience was inspiring, and then they announced DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals). DACA meant that undocumented children who were brought to the US by their parents could get papers giving the right to remain, work, and study in the country.

Armando didn’t qualify for DACA since he wasn’t in the country before the age of 16, but his brother and sister [see the photo above] did.

Hope

When friends visit, they always ask Armando why he keeps so many documents. He tells them how people in his situation hold on to hope that one day there will be an opportunity to fix their status. When that opportunity comes, Armando wants to be ready.

“People who are documented do not understand. Every piece of paper –  we have got to keep.”

After he joined the movement, Armando quickly discovered undocumented people in California who were going to post-secondary school – it is possible. Armando enrolled in college. When the counselor asked him his major, he hesitated before saying “filmmaking.” He didn’t know how he would tell his family and when he did,

“I got silence. It was like they were laughing at me. ‘We are poor, and being a filmmaker is not possible for you.’”

Queer

Becoming an activist, exposed Armando to a new word – “queer.” For the first time in his life, he realized it wasn’t bad or wrong – it was just how he felt.

 “I had been hiding my identity as a gay person – it added another layer – undocumented and gay. Hiding from society and your family is common- especially in the Latino community, where it is not okay to be gay.”

In the summer of 2015, Armando fell into a deep depression. His mother, a conservative Christian, told Armando how hard it was for her to accept him being gay. Armando wasn’t sure if his life was worth continuing. Two things key things happened in Armando’s life that helped him go on. He saw activists proclaiming that they were undocumented, unafraid, queer, and unashamed. Around that same time, a friend asked Armando if he had watched the web series Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae. Armando checked it out, and it was the inspiration he needed to go on. He wanted to tell his story like she does and break down stereotypes.

“It brought me back to life. It’s amazing the power that a filmmaker can have on people. That changed my life, and I started embracing my identity and who I was.”

Undocumented Tales

Armando began writing about being undocumented – about having to lie to people about not having an ID or Social Security number or driver’s license. He wrote about being gay and what it was like having his mom ask him about girlfriends or his family asking when he was getting married. Out of this writing, he came up with the idea for the web series Undocumented Tales.

“Writing is very healing for me, and putting those stories on the screen is healing for others. Maybe we have obstacles, but we have to embrace what we have.” 

He saw how most TV characters are white and straight, and the need for a series with people of color and people from the LGBTQ+ community.

“The media told me my whole life that I could not be the lead character.”

Armando created a lead character based on his story – undocumented, queer, poorly educated, and working as a busboy in a restaurant. He remembers the response after the premiere of the show and someone commenting, “That’s me”! People from his community felt represented. Armando’s web series was saying to other undocumented or queer people: “You are on the screen, and you matter.”

“I just want all the undocumented people to come to LA. We have privileges here. We have drivers’ licenses and identification cards and health care. It is the most friendly city for undocumented people, and I am aware of that. We have all the cultures here, and they make the city rich.”

Audio: Armando’s first trip to Charlotte and the fear he felt surrounded by white people

Battle on Two Fronts

Armando fights a battle on two fronts – homophobia from the Latino community, and racism from some white Americans. He is aware that he may never see the changes that he wants to happen. However, he is okay just making his small contribution so that that future generations will benefit.

“Hatred is growing in this country like a snowball and Trump is just pushing the ball. Hopefully, it doesn’t crash and instead it dissolves along the way.” (audio below)

Despite his struggles, and feeling like his community is continually marginalized, Armando tries to remain positive.

“They don’t see the humanity in us. That frustrates me. I’m just going to continue speaking up about my experiences. I’m not afraid anymore. I want to show that despite all the barriers – we continue on, and we are beautiful. Brown is beautiful.” 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Nusrat’s Immigration Story – Karbala, Iraq to Silver Spring, Maryland

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Family History

Nusrat’s parents were cousins with roots in Iran, her father born in India and her mother in Iraq. After they met, Nusrat’s father wanted her mother to return with him to India, where he was working, but she didn’t want to go. He left for India without her, and she remained in Iraq, pregnant with Nusrat. Nusrat’s parents decided to see each other again when she was five. This reunion required a sea journey of ten days and nights, from the small city of Karbala, Iraq to the big city of Bombay (now Mumbai), India. 

Nusrat never forgot her father’s graceful manner.

“Everybody loved him. Father always used to take my advice. It was me he used to consult. I was 16 years old when he bought a new house, and he asked me if it was a good idea. My mother didn’t like that.”

India

Nusrat lived for four years in Bombay, which was very different than life in Iraq, but she liked it. She especially loved the delicious Indian food their cook made.

“India has unbelievable art and food. It’s very rich. I don’t know why some people would call it the poorest country in the world?”

While Nusrat liked living in India, her mother did not. They visited Iran every summer, and every time it was harder and harder for her mother to return to India. She couldn’t adjust to the structured lifestyle full of expectations from relatives in India. Eventually, when Nusrat was nine, they moved to Tehran, Iran, and lived there for two decades.

Education

Nusrat’s ambition was always to go to college. In Iran at this time, 100,000 students took this intense exam, and only 4000 would be accepted. Luckily, Nusrat was one of the chosen few, and she started studying to be a history teacher. After graduation, the government would assign where you would teach, and this was a problem for her parents. They didn’t want their daughter going alone somewhere to teach. Her father gave her two choices: either work at the National Iran Oil company as he did or go to London, in the United Kingdom to further her studies.

 “I went to London to study computers. That was my first time being separated from my mother and father.”

In 1974, Nusrat completed her degree in computers. Upon her return, she began working as an advanced computer consultant for the Iranian military in Tehran, digitizing their payroll. There weren’t many people in Iran who understood IBM computers as she did.

Meeting her Husband

While working in Tehran, the government paired her with a contractor from the US Marines. They chose Nusrat to train the American as she could speak English. 

Her American counterpart, from Takoma Park, Maryland, invited her to go with him to the Caspian Sea on holiday. Nusrat needed her parents’ permission, so he had to ask her father first. When her parents met this American man, they “fell in love with him,” something Nusrat didn’t expect from her conservative Muslim family. He tried to learn Farsi to speak with them, and he converted to Islam. However, for Nusrat, the relationship was becoming toxic. Still, they married and continued living in Tehran for a few years. 

Yvonne

Her first trip to the US was to give birth to her daughter Yvonne. Nusrat’s husband wanted his children to be born in America.

“It was Dec 26th, 1976 – snow was everywhere. The airplane landed at Ronald Reagan Airport, and it was beautiful. I was anxious to see his mother. As soon as she saw me, she said, ‘she’s colored. Send her back’! From that point on, it was an odd situation.” (audio below)

Nusrat’s daughter Yvonne [on left in the above photo] was born with twelve toes. Nusrat’s husband blamed her for this abnormality, saying it was because her parents were cousins. As Yvonne remembers,

“Father beat the hell out of my mother. He wasn’t even there when I was born, but when he saw her for the first time after I was born, he beat her up. He believed that she had given birth to a retarded child.”

Revolution

Nusrat returned to Iran after giving birth to her daughter. It was clear that things were changing in the country – the Iranian Revolution was brewing. In 1979 they fled to the US as part of a mass exodus of Americans.

“We were the last American people working over there. They took us with a Pan-American company airplane. Rushed us with military honor from a military station to the airport for protection. We got to Switzerland, turned on the TV, and saw that the government of the Shah had been disposed of, and the Ayatollah restored.” (audio below)

Maryland

Nusrat and her husband bought a house in Takoma Park, Maryland, where they would live for a decade.

“Takoma Park was a safe haven for interracial couples to live. It has always been a place that welcomes diversity.”

However, the emotional and physical violence from Nusrat’s husband didn’t stop once they were living in the US.

Yvonne remembers,

“It wasn’t easy for her being an immigrant here, and navigating the court system. My father would beat my mother up, the police would come, they would tell my father, ‘I’m sorry for bothering you.’ She called – they could see bruises on her face! That’s why she turned to religion for support. It was very hard to be a child and watch my mother done very wrong by my father trying to navigate a system that was not made for her. It was created for her to fail.” (audio below)

Furthermore, Nusrat’s mother-in-law would call her “nigger” at every opportunity and would feed her pork on purpose.

Above: “A History of Civilization” by William Duran translated from English to Farsi. Nusrat’s father mailed the set to her – three books at a time.

Despite the abuse, Nusrat never told her parents back in Iran that things were anything but perfect.

 “I never said a word to my mother or father. I never told anybody.” (audio below)

Homeless

When Nusrat finally got divorced, it left her and her three children homeless for nine months. They bounced from hotel, to motel, to the homes of people from the mosque.

All of this trauma made it very hard for Nusrat to be there for her children. When Yvonne was in tenth grade, her highschool English teacher adopted her.

Faith

After her divorce, Nusrat started getting more involved with the other Muslim women in her community. She met a woman from Guyana who asked her to teach the Quran. More and more people wanted her to teach them about Islam. For two decades, Nusrat taught at and hosted religious gatherings in her home. She would set up the prayer rug and have a Qur’anic study circle where they would pray and eat.

Audio: Nusrat reading a Sura regarding the five pillars of Islam

“When my mother got this house in Silver Spring, she wanted to devote it to God. I didn’t appreciate it when I was younger, but now I appreciate her commitment to something constructive.”

Community Leader

People from different Muslim communities around Maryland started asking Nusrat to perform marriage ceremonies and the Janazah funeral prayer. She would go through her grandfather’s books, trying to learn the best ways to perform these ceremonies. (audio below)

The first wedding Nusrat conducted was for the daughter of a friend. The bride’s father was Muslim, and her mother was Catholic. The father wanted the ceremony to have an Islamic component, so Nusrat performed the rituals in the church after the priest performed the Catholic tradition.

“I read this Ayah when I read verses of the Quran for marriage. ‘God created man and woman and put mercy and love between their hearts.’” (audio below)

Imam?

Nusrat never thought she would do all of the things she has done, specifically within Islam. While Nusrat didn’t call herself an Imam, Yvonne says that is essentially what she became.

“There have been some female Imams who have wanted to lead the Friday prayer and take on roles men have in Islam. My mother never wanted to be in that role. She has laid very low. I think that her story is compelling and there is a lot to learn from it in this day and age – politically, and culturally. It can open up a lot of people’s eyes about women in Islam. My mother would not be able to be an Imam in Iran. That happened here in this country and that’s pretty cool.” (audio below)

The Future

Nusrat lives with her daughter Yvonne and her two granddaughters who love to joke around and fill their home with youthful energy.

Audio: Nusrat’s granddaughters having fun with the recording equipment

“My hopes and my dreams – I have nothing left. I hope to help raise my grandchildren to become good people. I tried very hard for the Muslim community’s children.” (audio below)

Above: Photos (left to right) of Nusrat’s graduation, her son who served in Afghanistan, and her grandchildren

“I did a lot for Islam, but my intention was never to become anybody – I just went through whatever it was that was in my way. I intend to help raise my grandchildren with what I was taught, but also prepare them for how they need to be over here in America today, not 100 years ago.”

As Yvonne says,

“I was thinking about the American dream. What does that mean to me and my mother? People come here to America for a better life. Is it unpatriotic if you come here and you don’t have a better life? That your life is shittier? Does that mean you are ungrateful?” (audio below)

Sacrifice

Nusrat was happier in Iran than she has been in the United States. Yvonne understands the sacrifices her mother made.

“She was fine in her country and she didn’t have dreams or aspirations to come to America. She left what she knew to face beatings and discrimination. I hope that before she leaves the earth, she does feel that coming here for me was worth it.” (audio below)

*Update: Nusrat died on January 4th, 2019. On May 11th, 2019, after more than a decade of work, Yvonne finally finished writing her novel “Crying Girl”,  which chronicles her mother’s incredible life.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Winnie’s Immigration Story – Nairobi, Kenya to Twin Falls, Idaho

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Childhood

Winnie grew up in Meru, Kenya – a town by the river. She was the fifth child in her family.

Above: Winnie holding a photo of herself as a baby.

“Meru was a place where everybody knew each other. I would walk to school. There was no such thing as ‘helicopter moms’ back then!”

Her father grew sugar cane and had fruit orchards. She remembers climbing the mango and avocado trees and then going down to the river to eat fruit and chew on sugar cane.

 “I would stay there and eat until I was in a fruit coma!”

There was this specific tree; Winnie can’t remember the name of the species, that would emit this natural perfume you would smell while walking at night. She cherishes her memories of the sound of crickets and how there was a type of bird with a call that served as an alarm. When it sang, it meant that night had arrived, and all the kids knew it was time to return home.

Family

Over the years, aside from her four biological siblings, she had just as many adopted siblings. She explains how adoption in Kenya isn’t as formal as it is in America, and it often involves taking in family members’ children. For example, when Winnie’s aunt died, they took in her three children. For Winnie, having her cousins transition to being her siblings was quite natural.

Winnie’s parents were always supportive of her and her siblings.

“Our parents were always there for us. They made sure we went to a private school to get the best education. I took it for granted, but they made sure we knew not everyone could get this kind of education.”

They were also strict and didn’t put up with any bad behavior.

Audio: Winnie describing the inappropriate sounds you didn’t want to make as a child

Winnie’s father was one of the first people to be paid by the government to study at university after Kenya gained its independence in 1963. In Kenya, where “livestock is money,” he became a surgical veterinarian. Winnie’s father cared a lot about his children’s grades and would punish or reward them accordingly.

“If you fail, you know, you should be shaking in your boots. If you get an A, you get money in your account.”  

Idaho

Winnie’s older sister Jackie applied to Idaho State University as a joke, thinking she would never get in. However, the school accepted her, and the family came together and started fundraising so she could go.

While studying in the US, Jackie found Shriners Hospital, a place where their other sister Mary, who suffers from Blount Disease (a growth disorder of the shin bone), could get help as a case study. Mary and Winnie’s mother came first, and then the rest of the kids followed. Winnie’s father stayed in Kenya, unable to leave his land behind. At the age of 16, Winnie started high school in Blackfoot, Idaho.

Adjusting

Winnie remembers feeling impressed by the cafeteria’s french fries and nuggets; something she thought of as a real treat. She also couldn’t understand why she would need to shave her legs. “I loved my beautiful leg hairs!” The other children asked her many strange questions like, “Do you wear clothes in Africa”? She played along, telling her peers that they wear coconut leaves on their boobs.  

“It’s not that they are bad questions. It is just that they don’t know.” (audio below)

She had never contemplated going on a date while she was in Kenya, but in America it was normal.

 “In Kenya, if you were going to see a boy, that meant he was your future husband. Once in America, I went on so many ‘ice cream dates’”.

Winnie was one of only three Black people in her high school and the only African. She started embracing her “blackness.”

“I felt Black, not African. I felt Black.” (audio below)

Winnie thinks the best decision she made in high school was joining the debate team. It helped mold her into who she is today. It was through debating that she embraced her accent and speaking in front of a crowd.

Knowledge

In high school, Winnie started addressing some of her classmates’ ignorance and confusion about Africa. She would cook them African food and try her best to correct their misconceptions. In college, this practice formalized when she joined the African Students Association of Idaho State U (founded in 1994 by her sister). Winnie was excited to be around other Africans, organizing dances, meals, poetry nights, fashion shows, and speaker events. Before she graduated, Winnie became the president of the ASA.

Meeting Antone

Antone first saw Winnie in the student union at Idaho State University. She had just bought a caramel apple, and a group of guys whistled at her.

“They whistled. I bit my apple and shook my head at them. He noticed that.”

Antone introduced himself, and Winnie remembers him offering her his sandwich.

“He shared a peanut butter sandwich, and it was the best I’ve ever had.”

Marriage

In the beginning, Winnie hid their relationship from her family and her friends. Her father has a stigma of interracial marriages, saying they are more prone to divorce. She could hear her father: 

“You better not marry a white man. Don’t bring shame to our family.” 

This didn’t stop Winnie from marrying Antone, and despite his views, Winnie’s father [in the above photo] came to the wedding. 

“I cried and I got him a brand new suit.”

They had an African wedding in Idaho with 300 people, including lots of food and dancing. They did the traditional “money dance,” where Winnie danced with a basket on her head where people placed money. It was a style of wedding that many of the attendees hadn’t experienced before. 

“Our wedding traumatized a lot of Idahoans!”

Twin Falls

Winnie ended up in Twin Falls in 2012 to be with Antone and start their family together.

Above: One of Winnie’s creations from the ceramics class

Adjusting to life in Twin Falls was hard for Winnie. It wasn’t until she took a ceramics class with some elders from the community, and started volunteering at the local refugee center, that she began to feel at home. 

To the best of her knowledge, Winnie is one of only two Kenyans living in Twin Falls.

“I feel like a pioneer – a Kenyan pioneer.”

The refugee population, specifically from Africa, is growing in Twin Falls, one of two cities in Idaho with refugee resettlement programs. 

Miss Africa Idaho

In 2014, Winnie started organizing the Miss Africa Idaho Pageant. Unlike many pageants, this doesn’t involve bikinis – the contestants exhibit traditional outfits and talents. They also need to identify a change they are making in their local Idaho community, as well as in the African country they represent.

“This pageaent is the most fun way in which I can see people learning about the continent without attending lectures.”

More than half of the pageant contestants came to the USA as refugees. Recently there has been a backlash against refugees in Idaho, but the pageant community, in general, has received Miss Africa Idaho very well. If the pageant ever gets any negative press, Winnie is quick to invite her critics to come and experience it first hand by offering them free tickets.

American Kids, African Roots

Winnie admits that it is challenging raising “American kids,” especially with regards to discipline. Growing up her parents showed her “tough love, never timeouts in the corner.  She hopes that her kids will appreciate their African roots, and to remind them of this, they all have a middle name meaning “warrior.” 

“I would love for them to learn Swahili, so I have put stickers on everything. They know a bit. When people from Africa come to visit and see that kids are not fluent, I feel ashamed. If they don’t know how to speak Swahili, I will feel like a failure as an African mom.”

Cultural Ambassador

Winnie often speaks to the local community about Africa. For career day at her son’s school, she cooked “puff puffs” [see photo above], brought different African artifacts for the children to explore, and told them about the pageant she organizes.

“We have black princesses and queens in Idaho!”

Audio: Explaining how women in Kenya carry their babies and offering to let the kids try [ see above photo ]

Winnie hopes she can keep doing the cultural education work she is doing in Idaho, and even train others to be cultural ambassadors.

“I hope there will be more acceptance of diversity. I want people to be less ignorant about Africa and Africans. Africa is not a country; it is a continent. I want people to know this. Each country has more than 20 languages and more than 40 tribes.” (audio below)

Future

She dreams of one day building a school – maybe even one attached to a sustainable dairy farm since Idahoans are pioneers in dairy farming. 

“I do have privilege. I want to share and recognize it; share and give back.”

Winnie plans on returning to Kenya soon. She hasn’t been back since she left at 16. 

“The first thing I will do is I will pig out. Sit down on this big rock, dangle my feet in the water and chew on sugar cane.”

*Update: Since the interview, Winnie had a new baby boy (also with a middle name which means “warrior). She has also started her non-profit called Culture for Change Foundation and created the Urban Cultural Fashion Show which features the work of Idaho designers.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Sohini’s Immigration Story – Hounslow, the United Kingdom to Duluth, Georgia

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Family History

Sohini’s family’s story of how they came to Britain began a long time ago during her grandfather’s early adulthood. The British had colonized India and were recruiting Indian people for all types of work. Sohini’s grandfather could speak and write English, so they hired him as a clerk and sent him to Kenya to work on the construction of a railroad. All eleven of his children, including Sohini’s mother, were born in Africa with British citizenship.

Childhood

Sohini’s father was born in India and met her mother through their arranged marriage. Sohini was born in Hounslow, a suburb outside of London. She and her brother grew up surrounded by an extensive support system of 15 cousins. They went to school and temple together and visited each other’s houses all the time. Sohini even thought some of her cousins were her brothers and sisters.


Above: Sohini (wearing purple on the bottom right) in Gujarati attire with her cousin and friends for a folk dance competition in England.

Sohini’s parents worked in London, and the family was “getting by” at best. Her father had a factory job, and her mother worked at the elementary school as the supervisor of all the “dinner ladies” (the women who would make sure the children ate their lunch).

“Everywhere we went we kind of adopted a little British granny. This is Violet holding me [photo below]. My mom worked two jobs, so Violet would help us out. She lived in the same government housing building as us and made the best homemade shoestring french fries.”

South Wales

The family made a move to South Wales when Sohini was six years old to see if they could have greater economic success. Her parents decided to buy a corner shop in a predominantly Welsh area with some Jamaican immigrants, but no Indian people.

Above: A school picture from Wales and a drawing she did of herself after moving to Wales

“I was kind of uncomfortable when we first moved there because there wasn’t anyone who was Indian – a few kids were Pakistani. I didn’t fit in, I got bullied, and I will never forget this: They gathered around me, and there’s a song called “brown girl in the ring” – it goes something like this [sings the song]” (audio below)

Sohini did make friends at school eventually, and she does have some positive memories from Wales, especially the field trips to see castles and museums. She has always loved history – anything Medieval or Victorian. Throughout their time living in South Wales, her family took every opportunity to go back to London to visit their extended family. 

Art

Sohini loved making art from an early age, but never felt supported with this passion.

“I wasn’t encouraged by parents to pursue anything in art. It had to be stable and where I could make a lot of money. They kept pushing me to be a doctor or a lawyer like most Indian parents.”

While in Wales, Sohini remembers her art teacher encouraging her and telling her she was a talented painter. Even with this encouragement, Sohini hasn’t picked up a paintbrush since then.

Crochet

Crocheting is a form of art her parents encouraged. Sohini’s grandma crocheted, taught it to her mom, who then taught Sohini while at the corner store. Since she wasn’t allowed to go out like her brothers were, Sohini had to find something to pass the time. The boys had “free reign”, something that Sohini says is common in Indian families.

She especially loves the rhythm of crocheting.

 “Once you read the pattern and get it in your head it’s just second nature. The colors and the satisfaction of making something when you get to the end of it.”

This passion has continued, and crocheting has brought her peace in stressful times.

“If I could sit at home and crochet all day, I would.” (audio below)

Above: Sohini and her classmates in Wales

Overall the experiment of moving to Wales didn’t work out the way her parents had hoped. Sohini’s uncle was living in Atlanta, Georgia, and had submitted an application for Sohini’s parents in 1982. It wasn’t until a decade later that they got a letter from the US consulate in London saying they approved the application.

Georgia

In 1994, when Sohini was 13, they seized the opportunity to move to the United States. When they first landed in Georgia, they moved into her uncle’s two-bedroom Atlanta apartment – one family in one room, one in another.

“It wasn’t a good time. I was depressed. Here we had nobody. It was a lot more expensive to call the UK from the US in the early 90s, so I wrote a lot of letters to my cousins and friends.”

She remembers how sad her mother [below] was as well. She had never been so far away from her mother and her sisters. 

After nine months, her uncle kicked their family out. Luckily Sohini’s brother, who is good at striking up a conversation with anyone, knew the woman in charge of the apartment complex. She helped the family find an empty apartment in the same building, and slowly they filled that empty apartment with donated furniture. 

Above: “This is our first Thanksgiving in America. We had never celebrated it before. That chicken was bland!”

American Dream

The economic “American Dream” never materialized for her parents. Her father ran an ice cream shop for a while, and then a dry cleaner.

“My dad’s just not good at running businesses. None of them have worked.”

Sohini’s mom worked at a daycare for a while, then at KFC for more than a decade. 

Above: Sohini at her high school in Atlanta

Identity

Sohini says the experience of arriving as an immigrant to Atlanta in 1994 was a “true culture shock”. It wasn’t as diverse as it is today. The people she encountered in this new country were mostly either white or black and a few were from Mexico. Sohini’s appearance and background confused people- an Indian from the U.K. who had big curly hair. They didn’t know how to place her. Sohini was regularly asked, “What are you?” or “Where are you from?” and most people assumed she was “mixed or Hispanic”.

“If I told them I was Indian, I got asked what tribe. They really didn’t know India was part of Asia. I would say I was Asian, and they would say you don’t look Asian. Lots of confusion and having to explain what I was. Add in that I was born in the U.K., and it was even more confusing”. (audio below)

On the rare occasions when she did encounter another person from India, they didn’t connect – they had different diets and a fashion sense. Most of Sohini’s friends ended up being African American or Latino. 

Sohini found it strange that she had to take ESL (English as a Second Language) classes, even though English was her first language. 

“We walked into this ESL class and started speaking to the teachers, and they were wondering why we were there. I was born in England. They just made us read books and do book reports.” (audio below)

From Sohini’s memory, the 1996 Summer Olympics seemed to change the culture of Atlanta. These games exposed people to other religions and cultures, and backgrounds. After the Olympics, Sohini felt a greater sense of belonging.

When Sohini finished high school with a high GPA and had scholarships available to her, she still decided not to go to college. Her dad wouldn’t let her move away to go to school.

“He wouldn’t let me go anywhere, so I was like ‘f-this I am going to stay at home and work.’”

Work

Sohini started working at the same daycare her mother had worked at years earlier.

Above: A surprise birthday party for Sohini at the daycare where she worked

About three years later, the guy she dated at the time said he wouldn’t talk to her if she didn’t apply to college again. He wasn’t joking, and she knew he was right. Sohini thought about how her parents didn’t have more than high school education, and she knew she could succeed at the college level. Sohini started taking classes at the University of Georgia to become a teacher; then, she decided she wanted to work more in curriculum development focused on adult education. 

“I could not find a job related to my career for the longest time. I’ve never found a real opportunity where I can get paid to help adults learn.”

After graduating, Sohini started writing training materials for companies and has been doing that for more than a decade. She still dreams of putting her degree to use, working with non-profit groups, and helping homeless adults learn a skill. 

Above: Sohini’s cousin’s daughter was taking pictures to send to India, to find a husband. She convinced Sohini to come with her and have her picture taken too.

Meeting Michael

To graduate from the U of G, Sohini needed to take an economics class. Michael, a Georgia-native, was regularly sitting next to her. Sohini always wrote down everything the professor said, while Michael, who was confident in the subject, was skipping class and not taking notes when he was there. He eventually asked to look at her notes.

“He was like, ‘these are really detailed notes. Do you need help?’ and I was like, ‘Yes, I’m so glad you asked!’” (audio below)

Michael ended up becoming her tutor, and while she had a boyfriend at the time, they decided to stay in touch. What Michael didn’t know yet was that Sohini’s relationship at the time wasn’t healthy. She had isolated herself from her friends, who were telling her to leave this emotionally abusive partner. One night she called Michael and he listened, supported her and did not judge. They started dating and have been together for more than a decade.

Tragedy

Sohini and Michael wanted to have a child, but their journey wasn’t an easy one. Their daughter Maya was stillborn at five and a half months. It was traumatic.

Above: Michael and Sohini’s tattoos of clocks set to the time of delivery of their stillborn daughter Maya.

They were running out of options for how they were going to have a child.

“We got into the point in our fertility journey where the doctor said that’s it. It’s not good for you, mentally or physically.”

They had sold their house and moved back in with her parents.

Two things that helped Sohini through all of the fertility treatments were crocheting and Harry Potter books. 

“I was hooked. Every time a book came out, I got it at midnight and would sit and read it. It helped me during that period. I had distanced myself from everybody. I didn’t know who I was anymore, and I found myself again with Michael’s help, but Harry Potter kept me sane”.

Surrogacy

Michael and Sohini started thinking about adopting a child from India; then a friend brought up the idea of surrogacy. That idea stuck, and less than a year later, they were off to India to transfer Sohini’s embryo to a surrogate. The whole thing was a “whirlwind.” On their way to India to pick up their son, they stopped in London, where the family had organized a surprise baby shower.

“I just remember being so anxious. I remember looking at him through the window. This is my child.” (audio below)

“He’s a blessing. He’s a miracle. I was reading Harry Potter, and I was like, ‘oh my God, he’s the boy that lived!’ We couldn’t be happier.” (audio below)

Getting Looks

Atlanta, and Northern Georgia in general, have changed a lot since Sohini moved there. Today, Sohini would describe the area as multicultural and accepting. It still doesn’t feel that way everywhere in Georgia. Sohini remembers the first time she went to visit her cousin, who lives in the southern part of the state. “We would get looks. God forbid we stopped anywhere”!

Sohini also thinks she and Michael – an interracial couple with a mixed child – receive negative looks.

“We were in Athens [Georgia] yesterday at our favorite sushi place. As we were leaving, this woman gave me the dirtiest look and looked down at our son. I just smiled at her.”

Sohini says the Indian community can be just as bad, judging her for marrying a white guy. 

“I look back at them and smile because it’s my life, not theirs.” (audio below)

Full Circle

When Sohini went to India on vacation, she was able to visit her family’s ancestral home. On the front porch, she found this sewing machine [see the above photo]- the one her mother and all of her sisters learned to sew on. Sohini brought it back to Georgia.

Sohini isn’t sewing often, but she continues the family tradition of crocheting with a passion. She recently made a turtle, a mermaid, two Star Wars hats, and a chicken hat that someone ordered to give their granddaughter for Christmas. Sohini also made her son, ‘the miracle boy that lived’, an elephant.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Sophia’s Immigration Story – Lahore, Pakistan to Little Rock, Arkansas

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Childhood

Sophia remembers a happy childhood in an upper-middle-class family in Lahore, the capital of the Pakistani province of Punjab. She was as privileged as could be – for a girl.

“Pakistan is still a very traditional patriarchal culture, and there is only so much a girl can do. My family allowed me a lot, but there were still very strict boundaries.”

Intellectual Pursuits

The men in Sophia’s family had a long tradition of coming to the United States for higher education, and Sophia wanted to study in America too.

“I could see there was a lot more equality and freedom for women in the United States, and they could pursue intellectual pursuits with fewer barriers than in Pakistan.”

Sophia completed her bachelor’s degree in Pakistan. She started looking at foreign universities, but she knew her father wouldn’t let her go if she didn’t get married first. She had an arranged marriage to a man who was already going to America to do a Ph.D. Together, in 1994, at age 20, Sophia and her husband went to Penn State. They then moved to Utah to continue studying. At the University of Utah, Sophia became the school’s first-ever female Muslim valedictorian.

Children

Sophia had two children and became active at their school and in local organizations. She was a full-time professional volunteer and very happy.

“I was in awe of all the opportunities we had here. The ability to do whatever you wanted to do. If you really work hard and struggle, there are no barriers in America. I still believe that. You can achieve anything. The opportunity is there for everybody – it just depends how badly you want it.” (audio below)


Above: Sophia inside the Arkansas House of Prayer, an interfaith haven for silent contemplation.

September 11th

“My life really changed after 9/11.”

Sophia still remembers the way she felt when she heard on TV that Muslims were responsible for 9/11 – that Muslims hate American freedoms. She asked herself,

“Is my faith really out there to usurp others’ freedoms?”

After 9/11, some of her friends decided not to wear their hijabs when they traveled, out of fear of discrimination. Sophia used to teach Sunday School at the local mosque in Utah and would only wear a headscarf when she went there. She remembers her husband asking her not to wear it anymore.

Faith

Before 9/11, religion was a small part of Sophia’s life. After the tragedy, she found herself on a spiritual journey to learn about her faith. Everything she learned growing up in Pakistan had cultural elements of patriarchy, which she knew was not her faith. Sophia also knew that what they were saying on TV about Muslims wasn’t representative of her faith either.

In 2010 Sophia started wearing a headscarf every day despite her husband trying to convince her otherwise.

Little Rock

Sophia and her husband moved the family to Little Rock, Arkansas, in 2011 so he could work at the university, and Sophia got into a master’s program. Sophia is an economist and strategic planner by profession. While working as a consultant in her field, she never stopped getting involved with passion projects on the side.

In Arkansas, Sophia found herself doing less and less consultant work and more and more interfaith work. She wanted to help those around her understand Muslims better.

Interfaith Center

In 2012, an Episcopal Church in Little Rock invited Sophia to help lead the Interfaith Center. It was perfect timing. The goal of the center is to help reduce fear about different world religions, promote cross-cultural learning, and create a more inclusive, harmonious, and pluralistic culture in Arkansas. 

“We want to move from diversity to pluralism. Diversity means people from different faith and race backgrounds live in the same community. It could be good, or it could be bad. However, if diverse communities do not engage with each other, it could be toxic. Pluralism is when diverse communities are actively engaging with each other with a commitment to the common good. They communicate and create an inclusive community where every voice is heard, and there are no ‘diverse slums’ in the community.” (audio below)

Internalized Oppression

One night, around the dinner table, Sophia’s daughter announced that classmates at school had called her brother a terrorist. Her son said,

“Mom, just ignore it – it’s no big deal. Everyone thinks Muslims are terrorists.”

Her daughter told Sophia she had taken care of the Hindu boy by insulting him back. Her daughter was proud, but Sophia was mortified. Sophia’s son was internalizing this oppression, and her daughter was turning into a bully! (audio below)

Service

This incident at the dinner table inspired Sophia’s first initiative – an interfaith youth group. The idea is to encourage dialogue as the youth from different faith backgrounds complete service projects together. Both of Sophia’s children were members of the group.

“The goal is to give these youth the communication tools that my children lacked that night at the dinner table, and some of our politicians still lack.”

The Interfaith Center has also created an interfaith supper club called “Common Table,” where people of different faiths share a delicious meal. There’s also a weeklong Interfaith Summer Camp for elementary students, which is the first of its kind in the USA. The Center also hosts interfaith prayer services where people of all different faiths come and pray together in their own way.

“The whole idea is to create platforms where people can come engage with a purpose in mind and commit towards the common good. That could be making sure a neighborhood park is safe, or children are safe in school. People of different faiths need to come together for a common purpose.” (audio below)

Assumptions

Sophia is aware of how many people don’t expect her to be in the spaces she’s in. At work, when she was warming her lunch in the cafeteria, a new congregation member came in, saw Sophia, and seemed a little taken aback.

“He asked me, ‘Can I help you?’ I started laughing a bit and replied, ‘No, I’m fine – I’m right at home. May I help you?’ We have these mental barriers we have created about who belongs where, and they are becoming more distinct and harsh since this past election – where Muslims belong, where Christians belong. If we see a Christian in a mosque and we say what are you doing here – that needs to change in America. Our public spaces need to be more inclusive. That’s my hope, and I will continue working at it until the last day of my life.” (audio below)

Her Mosque

When Sophia’s family arrived in Little Rock in 2011, the town only had one mosque. She found it to be too “mainstream” and a “little conservative.” Sophia, a Sufi, dreamed of opening a more inclusive, open-minded, and progressive mosque in Little Rock. She wanted to create a welcoming and non-judgemental space for all types of Muslims, as well as non-Muslims.

They organized the building of Sophia’s mosque at her church For a year, the planning committee met there every single Sunday. The interfaith community has been key in helping her create this mosque.

In 2016 Sophia bought the property and embarked on this lifelong project. There is still lots of work to be done (like fixing the hole in the roof pictured above).

“God willed it to happen. There was a need for a mosque like this in Arkansas.”

2016

Like 2001, the year 2016 had a profound impact on Sophia’s family. The night of the presidential election, Sophia’s son called and asked her not to go out wearing her headscarf.  (audio below)

“Fear is a very real part of Muslims’ lives. They do not feel safe when their wives, mothers or daughters wear scarves and go out in public spaces.”

“The founders of America came here for refuge from religious persecution, so facing religious persecution in America is against basic American ideals. I think I have a responsibility to protect the freedoms I have enjoyed – and protect them for my children.”

Challenges

A lot has happened to the Muslim community since she moved to Arkansas. Sophia will never forget the truck that pulled up outside the other mosque in Little Rock, displaying pictures of a bleeding Jesus on the cross. The people in the vehicle were yelling at them to “Go home!”.

“Safety is a big concern for Muslims. We are at a major intersection here. My congregation asks me if we can put a US flag outside, and can you make sure there is security here because people don’t feel safe? Can you put a fence around here? No, I am never going to put a fence around here and tell the neighbors that we are different from you and need to protect ourselves from you. We are going to remain open. The doors will be open, but yes, we will put a flag out there, so people know we are Americans.”

Sophia never expected this to be her path – becoming an interfaith leader. She would never have dreamt of opening a mosque, emphasizing how “Women don’t lead mosques in Islam!” 

“I think by nature I was always a rebellious person. It was in my nature to always challenge. I was not happy to see gender-differentials in my society.”

Today, Sophia’s children are attending university, and she starts her days working at the church and then finishes them working at the mosque she built.

Welcome in America

The director of an independent film about a young Syrian girl who goes to Little Rock Central High School asked Sophia to play the mayor of Little Rock in her movie. Sophia rejected the offer at first saying,

“You can never have a scarf-wearing mayor in Arkansas!”

In the end, she took the role of the mayor in the film.

Sophia continues her work of promoting pluralism, trying to help create a future where everyone is not only welcome in her mosque, but also welcome in America.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.