Mexico City

Miriam’s Immigration Story – Mexico City, Mexico to Tiffin, Iowa

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Tragic Beginning

Miriam’s father, an actor, died of colon cancer when she was six. It was a struggle for him to come to terms with his life ending, and his way of dealing with the pain was with violence.

“A lot of memories I have with my dad are really sad memories.” (audio below)

Above: Miriam has a few positive memories of her father. She can remember him dressing up for them in his costumes and making them laugh.

Miriam went with her aunt to get a black ribbon to tie on the store’s door – still not understanding that her dad was dead. When her older sister told her, Miriam didn’t cry; she felt free from the violence and relieved he was no longer in pain.

Miriam remembers seeing a document after his death that said she was an orphan.

“How could I be an orphan if I have a mom? Mexico’s culture is centered on the father figure – the male in the house – so it was very hard for my mom to be a widow and raise three girls.”

After her father’s death, if Miriam and her two sisters weren’t at school, they needed to work in the family store selling material for arts and crafts to support the family. Their only day off was Sunday.

Above: Miriam’s mother, with kittens, at the family’s arts and crafts store.

Art as an Escape

The one blessing of working in the store was that Miriam had constant access to all the art materials she could dream of – art was her escape. Miriam is the middle child of the three sisters – her older sister was rebellious and her younger sister was “the sweet girl”. Miriam had to be the responsible one. 

“I had to be strong and help my mom. At some point, I said, ‘okay, I’m going to be the man of the house.’”

If something broke Miriam would help fix it, or if someone was bullying her sisters, she would defend them. (audio below)

Her life growing up was not easy, and she remembers feeling like it would never improve. In 1985, when she was 15, she decided she was going to run away. Miriam had her things packed and was ready to run away. The day she was ready to leave, her older sister was gone – she had beat Miriam to it. Miriam’s mother was crying, and Miriam realized then, that she couldn’t leave too. (audio below)

Artist

Miriam always wanted to be an artist, but this was not something she felt her family or Mexican society in general supported. She remembers hearing how “artists are losers”. This didn’t make sense to Miriam though. The work of artists like Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera, and David Alfaro Siqueiros is so important to her culture. She saw how artists were the people everyone remembers, even after they are gone. 

Above: Collapsed building from the 1985 earthquake | United States Geological Survey

In 1985, Mexico City suffered a massive earthquake – a significant moment in her teenage life. She recalls it being like a warzone with the entire downtown completely devastated. Miriam’s family had to move from their apartment to her aunt’s house. She felt compelled to document the scenes of devastation, but she didn’t have a camera. After that, Miriam decided she needed to get a camera. (audio below)

Miriam told her mom she was leaving to become an artist. She had a boyfriend, a journalist, who helped her get her first good camera. Miriam was gone for three years, but her life wasn’t heading in the right direction. She was getting into drugs and alcohol and had low self-esteem.

“I was letting myself follow a dream, swimming in a storm in the ocean, floating in the open sea.”

Spirituality

Miriam would describe her mom as a “seeker”, someone who is always looking for something. She has tried various different religions. When Miriam was 18, her mom called to say she had met her Guru in a dream. A woman dressed in red came, took her by the hand, and led Miriam’s mother to her spiritual teacher, a woman in India. Miriam’s mom felt that this dream really meant something and ended up going to an Ashram. When she saw Gurumayi, she recognized her as the Guru from that dream. 

 “Meeting Gurumayi was a 360-degree change for all of us”. 

The whole family ended up connecting with Gurumayi, and after Miriam did, she started to meditate. She found this had a positive effect on her outlook and happiness. Miriam moved back in with her mom, kept studying, and managed to put the pain and sadness from the past behind her. Although this felt like a positive change in their lives, not everybody in conservative Mexican society viewed it that way. 

 “Meditating was like the devil. It’s not Catholic, so we became ‘the witches’. I didn’t care. Now I see schools teaching kids to meditate, but not back then. It’s very hard to follow a path that people don’t understand.”

University

When Miriam chose her major for university, biology, she felt like she was betraying her inner-artist. She tried to justify it by convincing herself that one day she would become a science photographer. By the time she was finishing her degree, she was already working as a scientist in Ensenada, Baja California in collaboration with NASA 1997 to 1998. She studied the productivity of micro-organisms in the Pacific Ocean through satellite imagery, but she didn’t like it, sitting there looking at a lot of numbers all day. She was doing the research in English, so everything took her extra long. 

Above: Eight months pregnant in Ensenada, Baja California.

Miriam met the man who would become her husband when she was in high school, and he too was a scientist. Miriam’s daughter was born before the research in Baja California was finished, and then they all moved to Huatulco, a coastal tourist town in Oaxaca, where Miriam worked as an art teacher.

Above: In 2001, a Mexican diaper company had a contest asking people to dress their children up in a costume that includes their diapers, send in a photo, and possibly win money. Miriam dressed her son as actor Pedro Infante and her daughter as the Statue of Liberty.

Iowa

Miriam’s goal was to attend grad school in either Australia or the USA. Her husband (now ex-husband) is a marine biologist whose main focus is on coral evolution. Iowa happens to be full of fossil corals. The next town over from Tiffin, where Miriam lives now, is actually called Coralville because thousands of years ago it was a sea and full of corals. Miriam knew nothing about Iowa before moving there.

“In my brain, it was like coming to Alaska. Everything is just white and ice and cold. In Mexico, we were living on the beach and it was beautiful. I love hot weather.”

Miriam and her two children, ages one and three, moved to Iowa City in 2002 to join her husband who had come the year before to start his Ph.D. They couldn’t afford to bring many suitcases – they left most of their things behind. Miriam was surprised that her husband didn’t have a place for them to stay. They arrived at one in the morning, and her husband was living in a shared house with other students. That first night they slept in the living room.

Luckily the university has a program for international families, and they eventually managed to get a place. Still, it was just an empty apartment with no furniture. Their kind Argentinian neighbor was excited Miriam could speak Spanish and showed her how to look for things in dumpsters that Americans threw away. Miriam found lots of stuff like a bed for her kids, a chair, and pots to cook. The neighbor also brought Miriam to the International Women’s Group – a meeting with other women who were in similar situations. These women showed Miriam kindness and even gave her a bunch of toys and warm winter jackets for her kids. 

Above: Miriam’s children, one and three, were fascinated by the snow in their first week in Iowa. Miriam got the broom out, having no idea that people used shovels to clear snow (audio below).

Struggling

For those first four years in Iowa, Miriam was just trying to make sure her family survived. Her husband was always working, so she needed to take care of everything at home. She also needed to work. She was not only trying to support her family in Iowa financially, but she was also trying to send money back to her mother in Mexico. Miriam remembers going for her first job interview, and her little son climbing all over the interviewer. Her first job was as a baker making muffins and scones from 3:30 until 8 am. 

She heard about a scholarship that was available to the family of students already enrolled at the university, so she applied and got it. She was able to start studying at university pursuing a degree in photography and multimedia. 

By the time her husband had almost finished his Ph.D. the kids were just starting elementary school. It seemed like he was concentrating so much at school, that he forgot about the family. When the kids wanted to spend time with him, he was always too busy. She will never forget the day she asked him for a hug, and he said “no”. She decided then and there that she would never beg for a hug again. (audio below)

Above: Miriam’s mother with her grandchildren [left], Miriam’s markings of her children’s height [middle], & Miriam walking outside her house.

Divorce

Miriam knew that she needed to think more about herself and her kids. She wanted to stay and finish her university degree, but her husband wanted to return to Mexico. She told him to go back without her and the kids. He left in 2005 and Miriam’s mom came from Mexico to help her. In 2006 her mom started getting sick. Miriam didn’t have insurance for her so she went back to Mexico and brought the children so they could visit their father. Miriam stayed in the US to finish her courses.  

She thought her husband would get the children visas so they could travel back to the US to see her after three months, but he took his time. She had to wait seven months before she was able to see her children again. 

“It was the most horrible time in my entire life. I cried every single day. I could not handle being without my kids.”

Above: Miriam sitting below the painting she made after the relationship with her husband ended. (audio below)

Finally, her children came back to Iowa, and Miriam’s daughter said she wanted to stay in the US and go to school. She wasn’t going to deny her seven-year-old daughter a better education. Miriam took on two jobs, looked after her children, and tried to study. Eventually, Miriam had to drop out of university and she was never able to finish her degree. Miriam found out about a school district with “before and after school”, so her kids could go to school when she was working. These sacrifices paid off. Both of her children did very well in school – her daughter was even the valedictorian.

“We came for school, stayed for school, and we are still here for school”.

Butterflies

Miriam has an art studio inside her house. Much of her work has an underlying message. Miriam’s current piece is of a butterfly and is dedicated to the “Dreamers” (those with DACA). 

“For the butterfly, borders don’t matter. Butterflies belong to all of America from Mexico to Canada. I really hope people understand that, like the butterflies, it doesn’t really matter where you have to move – home is inside you, you know. It doesn’t matter where you are.”

She can’t understand why these young people, who have been in the US for most of their lives, have to struggle because of a piece of paper. She thinks it’s beautiful, like the butterfly, how so many of them overcome obstacles and are able to become successful professionals.

Lucha Libre

Miriam believes her late father always wanted a son. He loved watching sports like Lucha Libre, football, and boxing. He often treated Miriam like a boy, cutting her hair short, and reflecting on this now, she sees he was looking for a bond with a son. She really didn’t like Lucha Libre at first, but she would watch it with him, and he would tell her all the rules.

“I love Lucha Libre because it combines a lot of things. It’s like a circus. They have to be great athletes but also it’s theater and the spectators are part of the show. The luchadores feed on the energy from the spectators.”

The wrestling mask, known as the mascara, is an essential part of Lucha Libre. For many luchadores,  their careers end when their mask comes off. 

“The mascara is a symbol of the entire culture. It includes everyone. There are women luchadores, little people, people who are gay, people of all different ages, and the spectators are from the lower-income to the very rich, all in the same space screaming for their favorite luchador.” (audio below)

No Longer Invisible

Miriam noticed the Latino community in Iowa is “completely invisible”. A lot of cultural events, specifically within the arts, are too expensive for many Latino families in the area. She wanted to elevate their voices. Since 2017 Miriam has been trying to document Latinos in Iowa for her project Luchadores Immigrants in Iowa. She began doing interviews and photographs, but everyone told her they didn’t want to show their face. Miriam came up with the idea of a project where the participants can hide their true identities by wearing a custom-designed mascara, and still share their migration story.

Miriam didn’t realize how emotional and personal doing this project would become. She tries to balance connecting with the participants’ stories, while not letting them get to her so personally that they crush her heart. She has witnessed the diversity of immigration stories within Iowa’s Latino community – and many stories that make her feel privileged.

Creativity

Miriam’s son has always appreciated and benefited from, his mom’s creativity. He would always ask his mom to make outlandish Halloween costumes, and no matter what it was Miriam would make it. In tenth grade, he requested the Radish Spirit from Haya Miyazaki’s “Spirited Away” and within one day Miriam delivered [see the above photo]. (audio below)

Tragedy

One of the toughest moments in Miriam’s life was when her little sister, the “sweet one” [see the photo above], died in October 2018 at age 47. She died from the same thing that killed their father – colon cancer. Miriam has found it incredibly painful being separated from family during times like this but feels fortunate to have been able to video chat with her sister before she passed away. 

“Life comes with death. You can’t have one without the other one and you never know when it is going to be your turn.”

Future

Miriam works on her art when she is not at her day job at the local grocery co-op. She would love to one day be a full-time artist. She would also love to return to Mexico, and one day create a non-profit in Oaxaca that helps women and children, but she loves Iowa.

“I’ve found so many beautiful people in Iowa who have helped me in so many ways.”

Miriam stayed in America for her children. Their needs have always come first. Her daughter is at university and planning on going to grad school and her son is finishing high school and planning on going to university. Miriam couldn’t be prouder.

Above: Miriam’s daughter at University [left]

Hope

Seeing people reject immigrants breaks Miriam’s heart. She has heard their stories and wants others to see the humanity in them. Miriam emphasizes that with climate change, this movement of people in search of safety isn’t going to stop. 

“I really hope all countries realize that we are one, independent of what country we are born in. Borders don’t really exist – they are there to organize. When you have to leave everything behind to have a better chance, you are going to take the chance despite all the odds. You find people in your path who will make that path easier, and more welcoming. We need to realize that all we have is this planet and we have to share it. It’s not for one person, it is for everyone.” (audio below)

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Tano’s Immigration Story – Mexico City, Mexico to Liberal, Kansas

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Childhood

Tano (Estanislao) was born in Mexico City. His father was a civil engineer, and the family lived in many different parts of Mexico for his work. When Tano was six, the family moved to Venezuela, where they lived for a few years. This new home allowed Tano to meet people from many different parts of the world. Without other relatives closeby, Tano’s bond with his brother grew very strong. Today Tano considers his brother his best friend. 

Their father, Estanislao Sr., was a hard worker and instilled a strong work ethic in Tano and his brother.

“My dad was everything. He was my role model. He always showed me the right thing.”

Every summer Estanislao Sr. had his sons work long days on the family farm. At five in the morning, they would be out watering trees, cutting alfalfa, and feeding the animals. Tano also spent a significant amount of his childhood living with his grandmother in Mexico City. When Tano was eight, he was sent to live with grandma to finish elementary school, and then again when he was accepted to the same all-boys Catholic high school his father attended.

American Football

The first time Tano saw American football was when a game was televised following his cartoons. He remembers thinking he would like to play the sport someday. From an early age, Tano was large compared to most Mexicans, so football seemed like a good sport to try. He started playing defensive end at age 17. 

Tano knew that his father wouldn’t approve, fearing it would interfere with his studies, so for the first two years he didn’t tell him. If his father asked where a particular bruise came from, Tano would say to him that it was from one of the cows. 

When Tano received the rookie of the year award, a local radio station wanted to do an interview. Tano didn’t want his father to find out, so he told him he was going out to study with a friend. Still, his dad found out about the interview and recorded it on a cassette. When Tano came home, he handed him the recording. Tano will never forget the first game his father came to watch, and how he tried to play his best. He remembers his dad telling him after the game, “If all of these players had a real job, Mexico would be different.”’  

His father’s second wife revealed to Tano recently that when a sports magazine featured Tano, his father actually carried that article around and showed it to everybody. It meant a lot to Tano to know that his father was proud, even if he hid it. (audio below)

Meeting Paty

Tano went to a friend’s wedding in Cuernavaca, Mexico. The wedding started at noon, and by midnight he had met his future wife, Paty. The following day the two of them went out and Paty told him that she has multiple sclerosis. He didn’t know what that was, but he said he didn’t have a problem with it.

“When we started dating, she said, ‘you need to go with me to see a specialist, so you know what you are dealing with.’ The specialist was really clear. I was in shock and like, ‘I don’t know if I want to do this.’ We left the doctor’s office and she said ‘let’s go drink coffee’. I said, ‘no, I want to go home,’ and she said, ‘you owe me this.’ I’m glad she said that, or else we wouldn’t be here. We went to drink coffee, started talking about it, and I thought about how if I was sick, I would love someone to give me the opportunity. I cannot picture my life without her.” (audio below)

When Tano proposed to Paty, he was working as a prefect at school. Paty said the answer was “no” unless he got a better job. He started looking, and he found one in the swine business, which was the animal he promised his dad he would never work with. 

Tano spent a lot of time growing up on his grandpa’s farm, about five hours from Mexico City. He had lots of animals, and it was there where Tano first started dreaming of becoming a veterinarian and taking care of animals. Pigs, in particular, were important to the family. Trucks would drive up to the farm to pick up the pigs, and Tano had to help load them. But he will never forget the time a pig bit him – 45 stitches – and the doctor said he would be lucky if he walks again. Luckily he recovered, but he told his dad, “I’m not going to work with pigs ever in my life.”

Tano didn’t know at the time that he would end up studying to become a veterinarian, and his career would involve pigs.

Adoption

After marrying, Tano and Paty decided to adopt. The process in Mexico requires a lot of time, paperwork, and waiting for a phone call. Tano will never forget when Paty called and said, “You are going to be a dad!” Tano loves how his daughter sleeps the same way as Paty. People are often afraid to ask about adoption, but Tano and Paty aren’t shy about it. Their kids have always known they were adopted. (audio below)

Tano and Paty are both very proud of their children. His advice to other couples thinking of adopting:

“They are your own kids, and you need to feel that way. It is not about who is the biological father; it is about who raises the kid. Don’t care about what your relatives will say. It is about what you and your partner feel.”

One thing he has tried hard to teach his children is to finish what you start no matter what. 

“We live in a culture of quitters. If you start, you finish.” (audio below)

United States

Tano grew up thinking the United States is where candies come from and a place where everyone is successful. Paty, who is of French ancestry but born in Mexico City, was familiar with the United States as her parents always vacationed in the US and owned a house in Texas. Paty had spent one year at a boarding school in Texas to learn English. 

After one year of marriage, Paty went to visit her sister in Texas. When she returned to Mexico, she told Tano they needed to move to the United States. Paty felt like Mexico was getting more and more dangerous, and she was increasingly concerned about kidnappings. She wanted to raise her children in a place where they could feel safe.

The company Tano was working for, the world’s second-largest pork producer had a central office in the USA, and he found out they were hiring. In 2002, the whole family moved to Kansas. He started as a manager, but his goal was to be in upper management. He heard those jobs were only for Americans, but Tano became upper management four years later. Tano is used to defying the odds.

“People have told me my whole life, ‘don’t do it, it is not going to happen.’ I guess I don’t listen.”

While there, he created the company’s international recruitment program, figuring out ways to bring employees from Mexico to work in the US on the NAFTA trade visa. In his last year at the company, Tano facilitated the hiring of 480 Mexicans.

Kansas

Moving to the USA felt like a vacation at first for Tano and Paty. After the first two weeks, when he started working, he thought, “Oh, we aren’t in Kansas anymore – but we are!” Paty was used to having a housekeeper in Mexico.

“I missed having a maid! I didn’t know how to clean, so I learned how to clean here. This is the American dream, I guess?”

Paty was a private school teacher in Mexico, but couldn’t work legally in the US when they first arrived, so she looked after their son, who was four and their daughter, who was two. Tano’s salary wasn’t enough to live on, so Paty started babysitting other children in those first years. 

Paty thinks it is essential for immigrants to adapt quickly to the new culture.

“We moved to a new country, so we have to adapt to the culture. Don’t expect the country you moved to, to adapt to you. Even if you love your culture, don’t get rid of it, but you are in a new country.”

Work

Paty moved from babysitting to being a teacher’s aid and then went back to university. Eventually, in 2017 at the age of 49, she received her US teaching degree. She now has her own fourth-grade class at the local public school.

“The moment I put my foot down in the school, I knew I was back in my element.”

Paty thinks the Hispanic students in her class benefit from having a teacher who is bilingual and bicultural. In the beginning, the white children in her class were difficult – making fun of her accent. Cleverly, she came up with a creative way to prove to them that everyone has an accent, and there is nothing wrong with that. (audio below)

Paty describes Kansas as windy, mountainless, treeless, and weather that is either really cold or really hot. The demographic of the population is different than what Paty expected with many Spanish speakers. The county in which they live is approximately 75% Hispanic, with many being second or third-generation Americans. Most of the people living around them work in the nearby meat processing plants. 

Tano is aware of the difficulties of working in the meat processing industry. When he started his recruitment job, he made a point to go into the plant and see how it all works.

“I don’t know how these people do it. I gained a lot of respect for people doing these kinds of jobs. Ninety percent of the people at the plants are Hispanic.”

Currently, Tano works for a small family-owned pork company with 150 employees. They are antibiotic-free, hormone-free, and targeting the organic market, instead of trying to compete with the big companies. Tano’s job is to develop their business and find producers to raise pigs. He visits farms all over the country, flying over one hundred times a year. Tano has grown to love pigs, emphasizing how smart and clean pigs are. He feels satisfied working for a company that cares about these animals.

“To be honest, working for this company was my opportunity to give back to the pigs. Without these animals, I wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have this house. Now it is more humane, they can move, and are antibiotic, hormone-free. It’s better for the animal.” (audio below)

8

Paty’s health has benefited from being in the United States. There is a familiarity with multiple sclerosis in the US that doesn’t exist in Mexico. She has had access to knowledgeable doctors and a culture that understands her particular situation. 

Still, Paty wishes her children could grow up going to their grandparents every weekend as she did. Not having extended family around them is hard. Ultimately Tano says they are “living the dream” at the moment.

Dreams

They have a beautiful house with a pool and a golf cart outside. His wife, his kids, and he are all healthy. 

“I love what I’m doing, and they pay me for that! I’m like a professional athlete!”

One of Tano’s dreams is to see his kids graduate from college. Their son studies neurological science and is on a running scholarship. Their daughter is going to university on a golf scholarship. Tano predicts that his son is going to be a lawyer and his daughter, a chef. Their dog Rita, who they got at the shelter, continues to be “the princess of the house”.

Tano’s dream for the future is to one day spoil his grandkids, retire, and play lots of golf.  He misses playing football but is happy being a golfer now. He loves the challenge and how it releases stress.

“Everybody plays golf here, and I just love it.”

When asked if he has any advice for young couples, Tano said: 

“Patience and lots of communication. Do not expect any changes. When we get older our defects will be more pronounced. Learn to love the things you don’t like about your partner.” (audio below)

In 2018 after living in the United States for 15 years, they became American citizens, but Tano will always be Mexican.

“I was born Mexican, raised Mexican, and I will die Mexican.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh & Janice May. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Abi’s Immigration Story – Mexico City, Mexico to New Albany, Mississippi

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Mexico

“I don’t have many memories of Mexico.”

Abi’s memories of life in Mexico are vague – it’s hard to tell what is a memory and what is from the stories her mom has told her. She knows they were poor, and eating from the street vendors was a luxury. This one lady would always come by on a bicycle selling tamales and hot chocolate. Abi would run out to her. The lady would have a huge smile and she never expected Abi to pay her anything – she could see that Abi was poor and hungry. That woman’s kindness, Abi has never forgotten, and it inspired her to want to do good for others too. (audio below)

Abi remembers how close-knit her family was in Mexico and has memories from the day they left. It had been almost two years since they last saw Abi’s father, who was already in the US. Leaving felt spontaneous – Abi had no idea her last day in Mexico, was her last day. She left wearing a black Bart Simpson backpack, with a cardigan, a coloring book, and crayons inside. (audio below)

Leaving

She remembers how sad leaving Mexico was for her mom. Abi was put on a bus which took her close to the border, then she got in the van of her mom’s friend, and this woman brought Abi across the border, saying Abi was one of her daughters. (audio below)

Abi’s mom tried to cross on her own and got caught and sent back to Mexico by border patrol the first time. This meant that Abi, four years old, had to stay two weeks in a hotel room with this stranger who crossed her and her own three kids. Abi remembers the smell of cigarettes and combing the lice from the children’s hair. For these two weeks, her parents didn’t know where Abi was and they were “freaking out”. Then one day, the woman told Abi to get dressed and get in the van. That was the day Abi finally got to see her dad for the first time in almost two years. Three weeks later, her mom crossed the border without getting caught and met up with them.

They stayed in Colorado for a few months, where an aunt was living. Adjusting to the United States was hard for Abi’s mom, and job opportunities were scarce. An uncle had a construction business down in Mississippi, so they headed there to try it out. Abi’s dad was a welder in Mexico, but in America, he worked in construction and for a furniture business. Her mom, the daughter of a seamstress, had always worked office jobs in Mexico. She always said she would never sew like her mom did but a factory in Mississippi was hiring, and she has been sewing for them ever since. Both of Abi’s parents had to work night shifts. 

Abi’s mom, in particular, has endured a lot being away from her family.

“To be able to fight as hard as my mom has to raise my sister and me is incredible. We are family people, and she didn’t have support.”

Adapting

It wasn’t easy for Abi to adapt to school in Mississippi. She started kindergarten in New Albany, and only three other Hispanic families had kids at that school. She always felt like she was bringing weird-smelling foods or weird-looking drinks to school.

“We don’t stop being Mexicans just because we moved to a different country. It was hard to find friends that wouldn’t look at you weird. It’s really close-minded here. The Hispanic community is large now, but back then, it was small, so we were ‘foreigners.’”

There also wasn’t an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher at her school to help her.

“I remember for two years, all they did was stick us Hispanics in a room and let us draw on the board.”

But Abi will never forget one teacher, Ms. Tammy Hill, who would try her best to help despite the language barrier. It was because of Ms. Hill that she learned English in nine months. (audio below)

Abi always felt excluded due to religious differences. Most of the people in this part of Mississippi are Baptists, whereas her family is Catholic. She felt like people were always asking her questions about the bible, and she couldn’t believe they do “bible drills”. (audio below)

Community

“I’ve always been a loner.”

Her mom thought Abi needed friends and signed her up for Girl Scouts. The leader, Miss Kareen, was the first white person Abi remembers truly accepting her and the other Hispanic kids. Her first friends, her age, were Miss Kareen’s daughter and niece.

“They were the first American family that accepted us for who we were. They didn’t question why we weren’t speaking English or why we couldn’t afford this or that. Girl Scouts will always hold a special place in my heart. It gave me the confidence I never had as a kid. We were all the weird kids, and we bonded over our weirdness.” (audio below)

Stokes is a general store off the highway that’s been around for many years. It’s where Abi’s parents would go to cash their work checks. They couldn’t cash them at most places without ID, but Mr. Stokes would cash them. He asked her family what they missed from home, and they said tortillas.

“There was nowhere here that you could find tortillas. Mr. Stokes said ‘give me a list,’ and he would order Mexican products to bring into the store. He was one of the few people who supported immigrants in this community. He always told me I could take one candy that I wanted when my parents cashed their checks.” (audio below)

Like Miss Kareen, Mr. Stokes, who passed away recently, treated Abi’s family with respect and kindness.

Dreams

From an early age, Abi knew she wanted to be a medical surgeon. With her high school counselor’s help, she took all the classes she would need to get accepted, and made excellent grades by “working [her] butt off.” It was two months before she graduated high school in 2013, and many universities had sent her letters of acceptance (including her dream university, Stanford), when Abi came to realize that because she didn’t have a social insurance number, so she wouldn’t qualify for any scholarships. Abi wasn’t going to be able to afford university, which was one of the hardest realizations she has ever had.

“You spend your entire senior year planning out your life and I wanted to go to Stanford so bad. That’s all I ever talked about.”

She settled for community college, and because she was undocumented, she was paying out-of-state tuition. After the first semester, she dropped out.

“I couldn’t get it out of my mind the fact that I had failed myself.” (audio below)

Medical school wasn’t in the cards for Abi. She thought about studying criminal science, and then joining the police force – and then found out she couldn’t do that since she wasn’t a US citizen.

“I went into a depressed state. I always knew something was off about me but I used to be one of those people who said, ‘just think happy thoughts, and it will go away.’”

She didn’t know what to do with her life, felt very alone, and was hopping from job to job. Then she met her partner, he helped her a lot, and she started to see “the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Grandma

If there is one person who has inspired Abi the most, it would be her grandma. She was orphaned at a young age, married young to an abusive husband, and got divorced (which was highly unusual at the time).

“My grandma is the epitome of strength and resilience. She put all her kids through school as a single mother. She would find ways to have fun and never focus on the negative.” (audio below)

When Abi left Mexico she thought she would never see her grandma again. Luckily, one decade after she arrived in the US, her grandma got a tourist visa to come to Mississippi and attend Abi’s graduation. Her grandma makes a green mole from scratch and snuck in some spices to make sure Abi got to eat her favorite dish.

“When I see her, it is like we haven’t missed a day. She’s just the light in my world. If I can be half the woman she is I’m doing something good. She forgets a lot of things because of her age, but she never forgets someone’s birthday.”

Although Abi couldn’t go to medical school, she still managed to find employment in the medical field. It started with a job in 2014 at the hospital doing newborn photography. Finding a passion and love for photography helped her get out of her depression. 

After the hospital, she started working at a dental office. Two Italian American dentist twins, Ronnie and Donnie, really believed in her.

“I didn’t know anything about being a dental assistant, and they hired me.”

Future

Abi feels like she is at a bit of a fork in the road and isn’t exactly sure what she is going to do next. She’d like to go to dental school, ideally at Ole Miss.

Even though Abi’s been in Mississippi for almost two decades, the fact that she isn’t from there is something she is reminded of regularly.

“To me, this is my home. New Albany is the first place I made my memories in the US. It doesn’t matter how excluded they make me feel; this is always going to be my home.”

Still, Abi believes that her generation is changing a lot of things here and thinks the future is bright.

“Here in Mississippi, we need to learn how to accept immigrants. We came here because we wanted a better life. If Mississippian people were to open up their doors and listen to our stories, they could start to understand that we aren’t here to invade or take jobs. We are all just people, and we are trying to make life happen for us too. I hope and pray that everyone learns to respect others, who may not look alike, sound alike, or pray alike. We are in the “bible belt,” and if we really are Christians, then we need to act like it. Immigrants should be included.” (audio below)

Abi hopes more people like herself will share their stories.

“I don’t think my story is particularly special from anyone else that has come to the United States to try and make a new life.”

Abi also thinks too many people either try to forget that they came from somewhere else. She doesn’t want to forget her roots.

“Even though I was four years old when I came here, Mexico is still a part of who I am.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.