faith

Joel’s Immigration Story – Nuku’alofa, Tonga to Salt Lake City, Utah

by

Village Life

Joel grew up in a family of 12 children in a small village in Tonga – one of the smallest island countries in the world, with a population of a little over 100,000 people. In the entire village, there wasn’t a single car, so everyone got around by walking or horse and buggy. Joel would often fetch water from the village’s only well; there was usually a long line. He showered at the beach and washed off the salt using rainwater collected from the roof. Joel doesn’t remember wearing shoes until he left the island at age 15. 

“I only had one pair of shorts, and we had to wash them every few days. We didn’t have a washing machine. I was the washing machine!”

Above: Lorraine Morton Ashton, an American missionary of the Mormon Church, compiled thousands of photographs for her book “Pictures of Tonga, 1936-1958.” She took the only picture Joel has of himself as a child. Joel’s grandson is holding the book.

Responsibility

Joel’s mom stayed at home to care for her 12 children. It wasn’t easy to make sure everyone had something to eat. Despite his family’s lack of money, Joel had a lot of fun as a child and doesn’t remember having many worries. He had never been anywhere else, so he didn’t know that he had less materially than many other children outside of Tonga. In their home, Joel’s seven sisters got the beds, and the five boys all slept on the floor. The children had a lot of responsibility from a young age, which included farming and many chores. (audio below)

Faith

Joel and his siblings had a religious upbringing.

“The people on the island are very religious. Sunday is the day of rest. It’s the law of the land. In Tonga, religion was so important.”

Audio: The corn shell [see the photo above] is an ancient way of communicating in Tonga, from calling children in for dinner to a call for war.

Joel’s father taught band and choir at an American school connected to the Mormon Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He made sure all 13 of his children could play an instrument. Joel learned the trumpet and has fond memories of the whole family caroling around the community at Christmas. Even though Joel’s father was a leader in the Mormon Church, he was often invited by the other denominations to come and compose music for their services. Joel has fond memories of riding on the back of his father’s horse to visit the other churches. 

“My dad was serving other churches but never getting paid with money, just by food. I always liked to go with him because they would feed us well.” (audio below)

Outside of the Island

Joel grew up hearing regularly of Tongans leaving for America. His father originally came to the United States because of a calling in the Mormon Church. 

“When he came back home, he was telling us about the freeways, lanes, and cars everywhere. He brought home all these second-hand jackets, and even though it is so hot, we were wearing them around and perspiring just because they came from America.” (audio below)

In Tonga at the time, high school was the highest level available, and Joel wanted a post-secondary education. He had a brother and sister already studying at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Hawaii, so he decided to join them there in 1970 to finish high school. Before arriving, Joel stopped in American Samoa to visit a sister. That was the first time in his life that he watched television.

“I was sitting right in front of that thing because I was amazed. All we had growing up was the radio, and most people didn’t even have a radio. Then when I went to Hawaii, I got to use a toilet and didn’t need to walk to an outhouse anymore. The luxury of life was nice.” (audio below)

United States

Joel used to play rugby while growing up in Tonga, so in Hawaii, he decided to give American football a try. It took him two years of playing on special teams to learn the game, but once he did, he was really talented. Joel became a respected outside linebacker and defensive end. After Joel finished high school in Hawaii, he moved to California to attend Santa Monica College and then Cal State on football scholarships. Football became an essential part of his life, but now he lives with regrets and pain.

“I just liked the physicality of football. It is the Polynesian mentality to like physical sports. Now looking back, if I could do it again, I would probably play golf. I had a knee replacement, and I have been having surgery on it. My shoulders, my ankles, I am always hurting, and it’s all from football and rugby. I just kind of live with it.” (audio below)

Joel attended college for five years, but he never graduated with a degree. His parents moved to California to join him, but when they couldn’t find work, Joel dropped out to help them care for his five youngest siblings. He and his father worked as landscapers, so his siblings could attend school.  

Meeting Cindy

Joel thinks it was around this time in his life that he started making some wrong choices and grew disconnected from the church he had grown up attending. Then he met Cindy.

Cindy was born in Utah and living in California when she met Joel. Her father was teaching at a local College’s institute of religion, and Cindy was very religious. She regularly attended her father’s institute, where they had events for young single adults to learn more about the gospel. Joel’s sister also went there.

“I used to go pick up my sister, then I saw Cindy, and I thought ‘she is so beautiful.’”

Cindy went to a friend’s wedding, and Joel happened to be there, but as the entertainment. When Joel wasn’t playing football, he fire-danced and walked on fire with a Polynesian performance group. They were properly introduced at the wedding, and Joel made sure to get her number before it was over.

“Cindy was something special because she got me to go back to the church. I got away from the teachings of the church, and then I met her.” (audio below)

Moving to Utah

By this time, his siblings were older and were able to help his parents. Joel moved to Utah to be with Cindy.

Joel didn’t have a college degree, so he tried to find any work he could get. He had experience working with cement in Hawaii and California, so he did that, and at nights, he cleaned carpets and toilets. 

“Coming from an island and a big family, everyone worked hard; I always knew how to work. Even though I had to work two or three jobs, I was able to handle it. My family just kept growing, and the more it grew, the more I had to work. We ended up having eight children. I had to work all the time.”

American Dream

Joel got his general contractor’s license and started his own business almost three decades ago. Joel likes working for himself because he gets to decide how much he works. It’s a small family business now, with most of his eight children working for him. 

“It is the ‘American dream.’ We struggled along the way, but now I have time for anything I want to do. I don’t have to answer to anybody. Life is good. We aren’t rich or anything, but we are doing fine.”

Tongans in Utah

Joel thinks Utah is a great place to live and considers it home. All of Joel and Cindy’s children, except their eldest daughter, were born in Utah.

Today, more Tongans are living outside of the island of Tonga than in the country. In the 1950s and 60s, a lot of Tongans moved to Utah because of the Mormon Church. He likes how the church is service-oriented.

“It brings back the island mentality of everyone taking care of each other. The church expects you to be like that if you want to claim yourself as a good member of the church.”

Above: A taʻovala is a Tongan dress, a mat wrapped around the waist, worn by men and women, at all formal occasions [left] and a woven fan from Tonga [right]

The Tongan community in Salt Lake City gets together regularly for church services, funerals, and weddings. There are enough Tongans that they have their own wards within the Mormon Church. Despite this, Joel and his wife attend a predominantly white ward. Still, Joel tries to go to the Tongan meetings sometimes where they sing Tongan hymns, which he loves.

“It takes me home to listen to singing in our language.” (audio below)

“When I count in my heart, I count in Tongan. My wife said that when I talk in my sleep, I talk in Tongan. She doesn’t understand Tongan and always says, ‘Dang, I wish I knew what you were saying!’” (audio below)

Future

Cindy hopes she and Joel can retire and live the rest of their lives in good health, and able to enjoy time with their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Cindy jokes how they have eight children, and she knows at least three of them will take care of them when they are older. (audio below)

Joel hopes his eight children and 23 grandchildren continue to not have to struggle the way he did. He also hopes they can all be strong in the LDS Church so it can bless their lives. 

“I want to see all my children sealed in the temple of the church for this life and the next life. If we can all be sealed, we can all be together in the next life.”

Joel has never served a full-time mission with the LDS Church and dreams of doing one someday with Cindy. 

Above: This is the Temple in Provo, Utah where Joel and Cindy were “sealed for time and all eternity”.

Respect

Joel likes the respect that Tongans have for one another. Whenever you see a Tongan, whether you know them or not, you greet them. The typical expression of greeting is Mālō e lelei! (Thank you for being good). Joel continues to try to be a good person for his family and community in Utah.

“Your attitude about things will take you where you want to be. I’ve always been positive and don’t like to be around people who are negative.” 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Sophia’s Immigration Story – Lahore, Pakistan to Little Rock, Arkansas

by

Childhood

Sophia remembers a happy childhood in an upper-middle-class family in Lahore, the capital of the Pakistani province of Punjab. She was as privileged as could be – for a girl.

“Pakistan is still a very traditional patriarchal culture, and there is only so much a girl can do. My family allowed me a lot, but there were still very strict boundaries.”

Intellectual Pursuits

The men in Sophia’s family had a long tradition of coming to the United States for higher education, and Sophia wanted to study in America too.

“I could see there was a lot more equality and freedom for women in the United States, and they could pursue intellectual pursuits with fewer barriers than in Pakistan.”

Sophia completed her bachelor’s degree in Pakistan. She started looking at foreign universities, but she knew her father wouldn’t let her go if she didn’t get married first. She had an arranged marriage to a man who was already going to America to do a Ph.D. Together, in 1994, at age 20, Sophia and her husband went to Penn State. They then moved to Utah to continue studying. At the University of Utah, Sophia became the school’s first-ever female Muslim valedictorian.

Children

Sophia had two children and became active at their school and in local organizations. She was a full-time professional volunteer and very happy.

“I was in awe of all the opportunities we had here. The ability to do whatever you wanted to do. If you really work hard and struggle, there are no barriers in America. I still believe that. You can achieve anything. The opportunity is there for everybody – it just depends how badly you want it.” (audio below)


Above: Sophia inside the Arkansas House of Prayer, an interfaith haven for silent contemplation.

September 11th

“My life really changed after 9/11.”

Sophia still remembers the way she felt when she heard on TV that Muslims were responsible for 9/11 – that Muslims hate American freedoms. She asked herself,

“Is my faith really out there to usurp others’ freedoms?”

After 9/11, some of her friends decided not to wear their hijabs when they traveled, out of fear of discrimination. Sophia used to teach Sunday School at the local mosque in Utah and would only wear a headscarf when she went there. She remembers her husband asking her not to wear it anymore.

Faith

Before 9/11, religion was a small part of Sophia’s life. After the tragedy, she found herself on a spiritual journey to learn about her faith. Everything she learned growing up in Pakistan had cultural elements of patriarchy, which she knew was not her faith. Sophia also knew that what they were saying on TV about Muslims wasn’t representative of her faith either.

In 2010 Sophia started wearing a headscarf every day despite her husband trying to convince her otherwise.

Little Rock

Sophia and her husband moved the family to Little Rock, Arkansas, in 2011 so he could work at the university, and Sophia got into a master’s program. Sophia is an economist and strategic planner by profession. While working as a consultant in her field, she never stopped getting involved with passion projects on the side.

In Arkansas, Sophia found herself doing less and less consultant work and more and more interfaith work. She wanted to help those around her understand Muslims better.

Interfaith Center

In 2012, an Episcopal Church in Little Rock invited Sophia to help lead the Interfaith Center. It was perfect timing. The goal of the center is to help reduce fear about different world religions, promote cross-cultural learning, and create a more inclusive, harmonious, and pluralistic culture in Arkansas. 

“We want to move from diversity to pluralism. Diversity means people from different faith and race backgrounds live in the same community. It could be good, or it could be bad. However, if diverse communities do not engage with each other, it could be toxic. Pluralism is when diverse communities are actively engaging with each other with a commitment to the common good. They communicate and create an inclusive community where every voice is heard, and there are no ‘diverse slums’ in the community.” (audio below)

Internalized Oppression

One night, around the dinner table, Sophia’s daughter announced that classmates at school had called her brother a terrorist. Her son said,

“Mom, just ignore it – it’s no big deal. Everyone thinks Muslims are terrorists.”

Her daughter told Sophia she had taken care of the Hindu boy by insulting him back. Her daughter was proud, but Sophia was mortified. Sophia’s son was internalizing this oppression, and her daughter was turning into a bully! (audio below)

Service

This incident at the dinner table inspired Sophia’s first initiative – an interfaith youth group. The idea is to encourage dialogue as the youth from different faith backgrounds complete service projects together. Both of Sophia’s children were members of the group.

“The goal is to give these youth the communication tools that my children lacked that night at the dinner table, and some of our politicians still lack.”

The Interfaith Center has also created an interfaith supper club called “Common Table,” where people of different faiths share a delicious meal. There’s also a weeklong Interfaith Summer Camp for elementary students, which is the first of its kind in the USA. The Center also hosts interfaith prayer services where people of all different faiths come and pray together in their own way.

“The whole idea is to create platforms where people can come engage with a purpose in mind and commit towards the common good. That could be making sure a neighborhood park is safe, or children are safe in school. People of different faiths need to come together for a common purpose.” (audio below)

Assumptions

Sophia is aware of how many people don’t expect her to be in the spaces she’s in. At work, when she was warming her lunch in the cafeteria, a new congregation member came in, saw Sophia, and seemed a little taken aback.

“He asked me, ‘Can I help you?’ I started laughing a bit and replied, ‘No, I’m fine – I’m right at home. May I help you?’ We have these mental barriers we have created about who belongs where, and they are becoming more distinct and harsh since this past election – where Muslims belong, where Christians belong. If we see a Christian in a mosque and we say what are you doing here – that needs to change in America. Our public spaces need to be more inclusive. That’s my hope, and I will continue working at it until the last day of my life.” (audio below)

Her Mosque

When Sophia’s family arrived in Little Rock in 2011, the town only had one mosque. She found it to be too “mainstream” and a “little conservative.” Sophia, a Sufi, dreamed of opening a more inclusive, open-minded, and progressive mosque in Little Rock. She wanted to create a welcoming and non-judgemental space for all types of Muslims, as well as non-Muslims.

They organized the building of Sophia’s mosque at her church For a year, the planning committee met there every single Sunday. The interfaith community has been key in helping her create this mosque.

In 2016 Sophia bought the property and embarked on this lifelong project. There is still lots of work to be done (like fixing the hole in the roof pictured above).

“God willed it to happen. There was a need for a mosque like this in Arkansas.”

2016

Like 2001, the year 2016 had a profound impact on Sophia’s family. The night of the presidential election, Sophia’s son called and asked her not to go out wearing her headscarf.  (audio below)

“Fear is a very real part of Muslims’ lives. They do not feel safe when their wives, mothers or daughters wear scarves and go out in public spaces.”

“The founders of America came here for refuge from religious persecution, so facing religious persecution in America is against basic American ideals. I think I have a responsibility to protect the freedoms I have enjoyed – and protect them for my children.”

Challenges

A lot has happened to the Muslim community since she moved to Arkansas. Sophia will never forget the truck that pulled up outside the other mosque in Little Rock, displaying pictures of a bleeding Jesus on the cross. The people in the vehicle were yelling at them to “Go home!”.

“Safety is a big concern for Muslims. We are at a major intersection here. My congregation asks me if we can put a US flag outside, and can you make sure there is security here because people don’t feel safe? Can you put a fence around here? No, I am never going to put a fence around here and tell the neighbors that we are different from you and need to protect ourselves from you. We are going to remain open. The doors will be open, but yes, we will put a flag out there, so people know we are Americans.”

Sophia never expected this to be her path – becoming an interfaith leader. She would never have dreamt of opening a mosque, emphasizing how “Women don’t lead mosques in Islam!” 

“I think by nature I was always a rebellious person. It was in my nature to always challenge. I was not happy to see gender-differentials in my society.”

Today, Sophia’s children are attending university, and she starts her days working at the church and then finishes them working at the mosque she built.

Welcome in America

The director of an independent film about a young Syrian girl who goes to Little Rock Central High School asked Sophia to play the mayor of Little Rock in her movie. Sophia rejected the offer at first saying,

“You can never have a scarf-wearing mayor in Arkansas!”

In the end, she took the role of the mayor in the film.

Sophia continues her work of promoting pluralism, trying to help create a future where everyone is not only welcome in her mosque, but also welcome in America.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Janice May & Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.