Month: May 2020

Chompoo’s Immigration Story – Bangkok, Thailand to Anchorage, Alaska

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Family History

Chompoo’s grandparents arrived in Thailand as refugees from China in the early 1930s. The story Chompoo grew up hearing is that they came with “one pillow and one mat.” Her grandparents arrived in the north of Thailand, worked in agriculture, and that is where Chompoo’s mother was born – the youngest in a family of four children and the only one born in Thailand. When WWII started, the family moved to Thailand’s capital city, Bangkok. 

Chompoo’s mother was working at a hair salon in Bangkok when her father spotted her. He started regularly visiting to get his haircut. When Chompoo’s mother opened her first restaurant, Chompoo’s father started eating there. He was persistent. Shortly after that, he asked Chompoo’s mom to marry him. 

Above: Chompoo’s father working at the Ford Motor Company plant in Thailand

Childhood

Chompoo was born with the name Nuanta. Chompoo, her nickname, actually means rose apple (a fruit common in Southeast Asia) and it’s the name she goes by in the US. In Thailand, her father worked as a mechanic for Ford Motors, and after work, he would help her mother with the restaurant. Chompoo says they “worked hard and were fighters” but neither of them had much education.

“My parents didn’t have a lot of money, but the treasure that they gave to their children is education. That is something you can have until you die.” (audio below)

A significant event in Chompoo’s early memories was when her father became a Buddhist monk. She was seven years old, and Chompoo remembers helping shave his head as part of the ceremony [see the photo below].  Despite being exciting, this meant that her father would be away from the family for three months and Chompoo couldn’t touch him since women are not supposed to touch monks.

Restaurateurs

Her mother started two restaurants – one fast food and one fine dining called “Guarantee” – which started small and grew to almost forty employees. They served recipes passed down by their ancestors. Chompoo and all of her siblings learned to cook from their mother. 

Above: “We have her in our memories. My mom is my role model.”

After high school, Chompoo did a bachelor’s degree in accounting, taking classes at night or in the morning. During the day, she would help her parents run the restaurant. When their parents’ health declined, Chompoo and her brothers decided to get out of the restaurant business. Together they created an import/export business. 

Growing up, Chompoo never thought about moving to the United States. 

“The USA was too far from me. It is the other side of the world. In Thailand, when we were young, we used to joke about drilling tunnels through the globe we would end up in California. I never thought about coming to visit America. I knew Disneyland, Mickey Mouse, and cartoons.” (audio below)

Rob

Chompoo had no idea how much her life was about to change.

Rob moved from California to Alaska in the early 1970s when he was 19. He married, had a family, got divorced, and eventually ended up a content bachelor. One day in 2004, while out shoveling his Anchorage driveway, he got talking to his neighbor, who was from Thailand. She told Rob that she knew someone she would like him to meet. The neighbor passed along Chompoo’s email address. Rob thought it could be fun, talking to someone from a country he knew little about.

When Chompoo found out about Rob, she felt unsure about the whole thing. Her mom and brothers encouraged her, saying, “at least you can practice English.”

On February 5th, 2004, Rob emailed and introduced himself. Chompoo took a while to respond as she wasn’t confident at writing in English. Between using the dictionary and asking her brother for help, she managed to reply. After emailing, Rob sent his picture by mail, and when Chompoo sent him a photo, it was of her whole family. She asked him to guess who in the image was her! They used Yahoo Messenger and Skype – and despite the 15-16 hour time difference, they managed to keep up the communication. Rob would go into work early so he could catch her before his day started.

A lot of Rob’s friends wondered if this Thai woman just wanted to be with him for money or American citizenship. They also doubted that she would ever want to live in Alaska.

“When I went to visit her the first time we had drivers. They have maids. Every morning my clothes were freshly laundered. It was a big step down for her to come live with me!” (audio below)

Meeting in Person

Rob decided to visit Chompoo in November of 2004. Chompoo went to the airport with her mom to meet him. He said he would be wearing a blue shirt, and she said she would wear a butterfly blouse. Rob hadn’t traveled a lot before, and going to Thailand for the first time was quite the adventure. 

“Thailand has a proud culture and national identity. I was learning left and right, which was exciting. It is truly an amazing place. I have never been around people (including my wife) who try and maintain a big smile in their life. It really helps me to look at life through a different set of glasses. It’s been a good journey for me, and I’m still on it.”

Chompoo had the whole vacation planned and was excited to take him to all the beautiful places you go to “impress the foreigner”. It also happened to be during the Loi Krathong Festival. It didn’t take long until Chompoo’s mother grew to love Rob like a son. The next time he visited, they took a boat ride and Rob asked Chompoo to marry him. 

In 2005 Chompoo and her mother traveled to California to visit Rob’s family in Los Gatos, California. They went to Disneyland [see the photo below] and then Alaska – it was April, so it wasn’t that cold. 

Wedding

Rob started reading about Thai weddings, but he didn’t realize that she was Thai Chinese, so the cultural traditions would be a bit different. 

“I was nervous. Not only was I getting married, but I was also getting married in a culture I didn’t know, around a lot of people who didn’t speak my language.”

One of the traditions is that the groom arrives at the house to “claim his wife” [see the above photo on the left]. The children enjoy this as they take strings and put them across the doorway to block the groom from entering. To enter, the groom has to give the children tokens or treats. It’s a time of lots of laughter and giggling. Rob will never forget when he first saw Chompoo sitting there with her mother and how beautiful she looked. (audio below)

Their wedding was at a hotel on the Chao Phraya River in 2006.

“I was supposed to give money to her mother – ‘for her mother’s milk’ – a dowry. So I was nervous about if I give too little, is it going to be an insult and if I give too much can I afford that? I wanted to make a good impression but not say I’m rich.”

Bodhi Leaf

Rob was raised in the Episcopal church and was even a choir boy and an acolyte. Today he considers himself spiritual and Unitarian. Rob would also say he has become Buddhist in his own way, as he has bought into the enlightened philosophy of Buddha. 

At every temple, you will find a bodhi tree that is said to be an offshoot of the original bodhi tree under which Buddha became enlightened. When Rob went to Thailand, they went to a temple and made a special request to take a bodhi leaf back with them to America (usually if you have a bodhi leaf you are supposed to bring it back to the tree). They now have a bodhi leaf in Alaska that they cherish [see the above photo].

After the wedding, as a sort of honeymoon, they went to Seattle so Chompoo could meet Rob’s son.

Alaska

After Seattle, they went to Alaska. She will never forget landing in Alaska and seeing everything covered in snow. It was both exciting, and she also found herself asking, “how am I going to live in this?” She realized that all of the clothes she had packed from Thailand would be useless in Alaska.

Chompoo arrived on a K-1 fiancée visa, so she spent a lot of time at home, waiting for legal documents. They had delayed the legal marriage for three months, as Rob wanted to make sure Chompoo liked Alaska.

Above: “Teeruk” means “my love” or “my darling or honey” in Thai. (audio below)

Middle Way Cafe

While Chompoo was waiting for her legal documents to work, she joined a gym. Her usual routine was to walk to the gym and then have lunch at the Middle Way Cafe. She started thinking about how she would like to work there. Chompoo didn’t want to work at a Thai restaurant because she wanted to improve her English so she could communicate better with local people and her husband. She wanted to challenge herself and be outside of her comfort zone. Chompoo applied in 2007 and started as the cook. After that, she managed “front of house”, and then, she became the general manager.

The experience Chompoo gained managing her family’s Thai restaurant, helps her in her current job managing an American restaurant. One area she lacked knowledge in and needed to educate herself about quickly was cheese.

“I didn’t know about American food – cheddar, provolone. In Thailand, we didn’t have avocado. Tomatoes have varieties!? In Thailand, we just had one kind of tomato! Here you have heirloom, roma, hothouse. Different kinds of olives? Oh my god!” (audio below)

Chompoo likes how anchorage has an Asian market where she can find all the Thai ingredients she needs to cook her mother’s recipes. 

“I get tired of sandwiches, so I bring something to warm up for lunch. When we have a party at work, they always ask me to cook pad thai, chicken curry, tom yam, or green papaya salad.”

Temple

The temple Chompoo attends [see the above photos] is a center that brings the Thai community together in Alaska. For a while, she can speak Thai and perform some Buddhist rituals. They have fundraisers biennially that Chompoo volunteers at where everyone gets together for food, karaoke, and Thai dance. 

Many of the Thai people who attend the temple are still learning English and need help with legal documents. Rob has been a massive asset to the community – helping if someone wants to open a franchise, bring a family member to the US, or if anyone has tax issues. 

“The Thai community here is strong. We help support each other.”

Immigrants & America

Rob says words can’t describe how enriched his life has been by having Chompoo in it – not only his life but the life of so many Americans she has come in contact with since moving there. 

He feels incredibly disappointed, saddened, and ashamed of his country, specifically in regards to the current administration, “shutting down immigration and talking nasty about people that are of different origins. It hurts me. I’m from California, and Mexican Americans are an important part of our culture.” 

Rob knows first hand how hard immigrants work. He worked picking beans in California as a teenager alongside immigrant farmworkers.

“They are working 18 hour days, and you want to call them lazy. These people are the American protestant work ethic!”

Rob is trying to keep a positive outlook on the future, but it is hard.

“[The 2016 election] uncovered the dirt under the rug – what I thought was a beautiful rug. To find out what is under the rug is racism and prejudice. I try not to let it get me down. Chompoo keeps me cheerful.” (audio below)

Future

In the future, Chompoo dreams of having a house in Thailand. She already has the home next door to her brother picked out. 

Above: Chompoo holding her parent’s wedding photo

Rob and Chompoo have been going to Thailand every year, something he promised her when they married. Rob knows how important family is in Thai culture, and how Chompoo would never have left her family if it wasn’t for their relationship. 

Chompoo would also like to move to a warmer climate than Alaska. Rob has a lot of roots in Alaska, so moving would be hard. If they did move, Chompoo doesn’t know what she would do work-wise – probably open a restaurant.

“Don’t take me the wrong way; Alaska is really beautiful. In the summertime, you have 20 hours to enjoy the day, but during wintertime, you get 20 hours of darkness. It feels sad. I like to see the northern lights but seven or eight months of winter and cold! I don’t want to be old and walking on ice.”

No matter where Rob and Chompoo end up living, they know they will have each other.  (audio below)

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Ruth’s Immigration Story – Murehwa, Zimbabwe to Bellevue, Nebraska

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Childhood

Ruth was born in Murehwa, a small rural town 50 miles northeast of Zimbabwe’s capital Harare.

When Ruth came into this world, her mother was still in high school. Nobody knew her biological mother had been pregnant, so from the start, “Gogo” (Ruth’s grandmother), acted as her mom. 

Gogo loved telling folk tales. A lot of her stories, common in Ruth’s culture, were about animals with superpowers. Gogo’s usual tales revolved around a baboon and a rabbit, and in every story, the rabbit outsmarts the baboon. Each time the story was recounted, the details would change a little bit, and she always took forever to get to the point. 

“In America, kids have fairytale books, but for me, it was through storytelling. They forced you to imagine.” (audio below)

When Ruth thinks back to those early days when her grandmother told stories, she recalls the intensity of the stars in the sky. They didn’t have electricity, but there was fire. She would walk barefoot over the red soil to get water from the stream. It was a life of little routines.

Above: Ruth’s late mother holding her late baby sister, Chido.

Tragedies

Despite the positive memories of her grandmother, Ruth’s life had a tragic beginning. When Ruth was five, her mother died by suicide, and one month after that, Ruth’s only sister died from measles. After these tragedies, Ruth moved around between her mother’s siblings. Gogo tried her best to make sure everyone was friendly to Ruth, as she was often treated more like “the help” than a part of the family.

“I knew that I was so loved by this woman. I’ve had so many twists and turns in my life, but the grounding in my grandmother’s love is why I seem to be able to get through whatever.” (audio below)


Above: Ruth (on the right in red) at her cousin’s birthday. “I was serving them food – often treated like the help – exactly like Cinderella.”

Different

Ruth grew up in a culture with clearly defined gender roles, but she didn’t fit the mold. She remembers hearing from relatives that she must be cursed. 

“I was aware from a very early age that I was different in how I liked to dress. I was such a tomboy. They would try to buy me dresses and skirts – but they would be left untouched. I would wear the same pair of shorts for weeks at a time. Family would visit from the rural areas. They would be there for a week without any idea that I was a girl.” (audio below)

Ruth remembers the deep high school crushes she had on women, but it wasn’t something she would ever admit. There was no representation of the LGBTIQ community in Zimbabwe at the time, so being a lesbian wasn’t something she even knew existed. Her aunt had a gay hairdresser, but nobody labeled him as “gay” – he just “existed.” 

United Kingdom

In the late 1990s, Zimbabwe’s economy was collapsing, and many people were leaving. Ruth wanted to get out too, so two days after writing her high school exams in 1998, she was on a flight to England. Ruth thought it was a great opportunity, but when she arrived, the situation wasn’t as expected. She was essentially going to be doing housework for almost zero pay- they were exploiting her.

At 18, Ruth was young and vulnerable. She didn’t know she could have enrolled in Nursing School since Zimbabwe is a former British colony.

“When people lack information, they struggle when they shouldn’t.”

She managed to leave her “job” and went to work at a furniture shop. Eventually, she started doing “care work” – the common form of employment for Zimbabweans in England. Ruth began to send money back to Zimbabwe. She felt rich, but she didn’t feel accepted. 

Nebraska

Ruth’s aunt connected her to a friend, who had a friend, and this is what brought her to South Omaha, Nebraska in July 1999 – on a visitor’s visa, but she didn’t plan on leaving.

Again things weren’t as she expected. This friend of a friend was a “troubled soul,” with a six-month-old baby that she expected Ruth to look after. Ruth felt stuck. Luckily this woman’s sister came by one day, noticed that Ruth wasn’t in a good place, and took Ruth to enroll in classes to become a Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA).  

If Ruth had known, she would have applied to school right away and switched to an F1 Student Visa, or she could have even applied for asylum. Still, instead, her visitor visa expired, and she became undocumented. 

Ruth explains how living in the shadows wasn’t too complicated back then. She recognizes her privilege, explaining how she believes it would have been a lot harder to live “under the radar” if she was from Central or South America, or couldn’t speak English well. (audio below)

After graduating, Ruth started working as a CNA at a nursing home.

Abuse

At 21, Ruth met the father of her two children. It should have been easy for Ruth to have her status adjusted since she married a US citizen, but he didn’t have a birth certificate, which complicated things. Early on in their relationship, there were signs of emotional and physical abuse, and she regrets staying in the relationship as long as she did. “I was young and naive.” 

Audio: Ruth reading from her memoir about the day her daughter Chido was born – “the happiest day of my life”.

At nursing school, Ruth also developed a crush on a woman in her program, and she told her husband about her attraction to women. It was also the first time she had admitted this to herself. In 2007 Ruth graduated as a registered nurse. Ruth wanted to take her children ages one and three, and leave her marriage, but her husband wasn’t going to let this happen.

“I had no idea it would get as horrible as it did. There is nothing he didn’t try to do. When I look back now, it’s very possible he could have killed me because he wasn’t in his right mind.”

Ruth explains how, since all of this happened, her ex-husband was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder while in prison. She believes he is a different, better, person now.

Deportation

Ruth had a restraining order on her husband, forcing him out of the house. In an attempt to have her deported, he reported Ruth to ICE (The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement). She ended up spending a month in jail away from her children.

“ICE agents showed up with guns and bulletproof vests at six in the morning. Luckily my aunt who had raised me from 10-18 was granted asylum. She was able to take my kids, so they weren’t thrown in foster care.” (audio below)

For the next three years, Ruth was in a different divorce or immigration court every few weeks. They finalized their divorce in 2010, and Ruth was granted sole custody. Because of what went through, Ruth was able to file for VAWA (Violence Against Women Act). The Vermont office approved her case, but the local office denied it. She is still in the process of challenging this denial and will be back in court in 2021. For now, she gets a yearly work permit. 

Her “Plan B” is to file for asylum based on the fact she came out after she left her country and homosexuality is illegal and punishable by jail in Zimbabwe.

“I have an amazing team of lawyers who have followed my story. I try not to worry about it because what will that do? In the meantime, I worry about raising happy kids.”

Ruth had been working in health care for a decade. After being arrested and detained, she no longer had a nursing license or a work permit. 

Cleaner

Ruth’s first girlfriend after her marriage had a family cleaning business. Ruth realized it was something she could do on her own after learning the trade from her girlfriend.

In 2011, Ruth bought a cleaning business starter kit for 20 dollars that helped her advertise online and listed the products she needed. Calls started coming in. Today Ruth’s business cleans for commercial buildings and big art galleries in the city. She also has had up to eight employees working for her.

“What’s most rewarding for me about the cleaning business is the ability to provide an income for other women, especially immigrant women.” 

She loves how the business is flexible, and she makes her hours. She also loves how it keeps her in shape. 

“It’s my gym. I love it. That’s how I get to look how I look, and I’m almost 40 – vacuuming those stairs!” (audio below)

Parenting

The divorce and Ruth’s detention were extremely traumatic for the children. She has taken them to therapy and tries her best to give them consistency and stability at home.

“That’s the thing about being a single parent. I have to be the affectionate one, but I also have to be the one who gives structure. My kids started doing their own laundry in second grade and cooking at ages three and four. I read about other people’s teenagers, and I’m like ‘oh, my God!’ – that’s just not my experience. I think all parents are biased, but Chido and Simba are such amazing kids.” (audio below)

“Not having parents gave me a different perspective. It’s almost as if I parent from the standpoint of if I had had a mother, what would I want my mother to be like for me.”

Ruth is starting to work on a parenting book since what she is doing as a single mom seems to be working.

Chido is named after Ruth’s late sister. She dreams of going to Yale, studying medicine, and becoming a “bilingual neurosurgeon.” She is already working on the bilingual part by studying Spanish at school. Chido never thought of herself as particularly athletic, then she medalled in cross-country. Ruth found out that her biological father was a cross-country champion, so maybe it is in Chido’s genes? Someday Chido would love to set up a foundation to help kids in Zimbabwe and buy a house for her mom. 

“I think my mom is really brave. She inspires me to do a lot of things I wouldn’t have otherwise done.”  (audio below)

Simba’s dream is to go to Duke on a basketball scholarship and play in the NBA.

“I like how you get to work with the team. There is no ‘I’ in ‘Team.’” (audio below)

Ruth says he is just as smart as his sister; he just puts in a little less effort. At home, Simba is the “domestic” one, making coffee or vacuuming. One of his favorite things about his mom is that she takes them traveling. 

Ruth’s other child is Hillary Clinton.

“I come from a culture where pets stay outside – cats are evil. If you have a cat, you are a witch. My kids have always wanted a pet because they don’t come from that culture. One client has a farm and the cats had babies. We fostered some cats, and then we decided to get a permanent cat. That’s how Hillary Clinton became a part of our family.”

Above: Thanksgiving Dinner with Ruth’s extended family at her aunt’s house in Nebraska

Racism

According to Ruth, Omaha, which includes smaller surrounding cities like Bellevue, is racially and socio-economically segregated – the north is black, south is Latino, the west is white, and the white liberals live in Dundee. Ruth explains how this segregation relates directly to how well-funded the school districts are.

“One advantage of being an immigrant is that because things have gone wrong in our country and we want the best for our kids, we don’t ask where the black people are, we just move to where the best schools are. Most black and brown people around here [in Bellevue] are immigrants.”

Because she grew up in a country with a black majority, she feels like sometimes she may experience racism in the US and not even notice it. To Ruth, “the system is invisible.”

“When I get pulled over, I am really nice to the cop, and would never think I am being targeted. I know if I were born here, my thinking would be different. In the end, it is a huge advantage. It is almost like I have blinders on.” (audio below)

Activist

Since she was a young girl, Ruth has had a love of writing – an art that seemed to give birth to her activism.

In 2012 she released her memoir: Freedom of an Illegal Immigrant. Her second book, OUTsider: Crossing Borders. Breaking Rules. Gaining Pride (2014) is a celebration of sexuality. Her most recent book is Indelicate Things: A Collection of Narratives About the Female Body Giving and Receiving Pleasure (2015). Today Ruth’s writing focuses primarily on memoir and erotica. 

Ruth has been using her writing skills to help LGBTIQ people who are living in countries where their safety is at risk. In at least six instances, Ruth helped write the testimonials, for individuals granted asylum.

“I try to be really visible as an LGBTQ African.”

Future

Her children recently got their passports, and Ruth is incredibly excited. They have big travel plans – Canada, South Africa, and beyond. They hope to visit a different place every summer. 

“My future dreams are making sure I am supporting and guiding my kids to be best at whatever it is they want to do – to accomplish their goals. Compared to my life, they have no excuses. They have every privilege I never had. I never want them to see themselves as victims in life. They have to take advantage of the opportunities they have. That’s how you help the world.” (audio below)

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Eman’s Immigration Story – Kuwait City, Kuwait to NYC, New York

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Childhood

Eman was born at the beginning of the 1980s to Palestinian parents living in Kuwait.

Most of Eman’s memories of Kuwait involve food. 

“We didn’t have McDonald’s when I grew up – we had Hardees. Pizza Hut is better there. It had an elaborate salad bar. The food was good in Kuwait because that is all we had. They have no other form of entertainment really.” (audio below)

Fleeing Kuwait

Eman was nine when they fled Kuwait in 1990 because of the Gulf War. Eman’s parents had already lived through war as Palestinians and they didn’t want their children experiencing the same trauma they had. The family drove overnight from Kuwait to Iraq. Eman remembers how her parents tried their best to pretend like everything was normal for her and her two younger siblings.

 “We didn’t feel danger or that anything bad was happening. It’s a field trip – eat delicious food and listen to your favorite songs!”

Oddly enough, the one thing Eman will never forget about Iraq is the milk. “It is the best milk I’ve ever had in my life.” Eman remembers how embarrassed her Mom was about the sheer amount of milk her daughter was drinking.  

“Everything in my life revolves around food. I find comfort in food.”

Above: Eman enjoying takeout [top left], toast with zaatar made with thyme and olive oil from Palestine [top right] and a NYC slice [bottom]

Canada

Eman’s father had already started the immigration process for the family to move to Canada. He managed an international fiberglass company and already had business in Montreal, Quebec, so they didn’t stay in Iraq for long. 

“I remember coming off the plane and everybody coming at us with covers to cover us up, since it was really cold, and we were from the desert.”

Above: Eman’s bookshelf

Eman found adjusting to Canadian life reasonably easy. The school she went to in Montreal had other recent immigrants, and many were Arabic speakers – people who spoke the same language and looked like her. Eman explains how even though, as Palestinians, they were second class citizens in Kuwait, their quality of life was better there than in Canada.

Her mother had been a kindergarten teacher in Kuwait, and her father a successful businessman. In Canada, they ran a little muffin and coffee shop franchise called “Treats” in the mall. It was hard work, long hours, with very little return.

The move west had the most profound effect on Eman’s mother, sending her into a depression that has never fully recovered from.

Eman will never forget the happy occasion of her family getting their Canadian citizenship in 1993. Eman’s happiness was overshadowed by one section of her citizenship document. For “country of origin, it read “stateless”. She says this still scars her today.

Comedy

From an early age, Eman had wanted to work in entertainment. She grew up watching American shows and felt like nobody on them looked like her.

“I wanted to dispel negative stereotypes. If I saw people who looked like me, they were always awful terrorists – evil people. I feel like when you entertain someone, they will listen to you a lot more than if you are preaching or teaching.” 

Eman started her work on the comedy circuit in 2006.

“Now when I look back, I wish I didn’t get into comedy. It is such a hard unstable career. If I could turn back time, I would be a professional tennis player [laughing].”  (audio below)

Above: Intruding on a stranger’s photoshoot by the Brooklyn Bridge

Identity

Eman finds that people often have trouble figuring out what exactly is her background. They know she is a woman of color, but not much more than that. Once, she encountered a man on the subway who was shouting out people’s ethnic backgrounds. When Eman walked by, he fell completely silent. (audio below)

Above: A necklace from her parents that reads “Eman” in Arabic

Eman doesn’t feel like she has had to deal with a lot of overt discrimination, which she attributes to not being “visibly gay or Muslim looking.” Although she does think her career would be further along if she had been a regular white guy. 

“I remember when I first started doing stand up in Canada, and I wanted to talk about my identity off the top. My boss would be like, ‘maybe you shouldn’t push that right away because it makes people uncomfortable. Make them laugh with light stuff, then get into who you are.’” 

Audio: Eman opening her set at New York Comedy Club
Above: Eman’s wardrobe with a small Palestinian flag

She has had some strange experiences because of her background. Eman remembers once being called “edgy” for mentioning on the radio that she was Palestinian. She also has been heckled because, as she says, “people don’t like what they don’t know.”

“I did get heckled once by a drunk American couple that voted for Trump and called me a terrorist. The audience was really nice to be like, ‘get the fuck out of here!’ [to the hecklers]” (audio below)

Meeting Jess

In 2009 Eman met Jess, who was born in Montreal, Canada to a Peruvian mother and a Canadian father. They became friends on the Canadian comedy circuit. Eman didn’t think of Jess in a sexual way; in fact, she had never really thought of any woman in a sexual way! 

“My curiosity spiked one night when she was at the club; I looked at her in a different light. She has a line in her stand up about being bisexual, and I was like ‘Oh, my God – I’m totally curious!’ It was always on my subconscious. I thought if I were to fool around with a girl it would be her. I didn’t know I would end up marrying her!” (audio below)

New York

Eman knew that New York City was the place to be for standup comedy. Once a year, she would head down to NYC to do a show. It was perfect when she met Jess because she had the same idea about the city. Both Eman and Jess, as comedians, agreed that New York was a place they could both grow as comedians. Besides, Eman had always dreamed of moving to the US. She grew up obsessed with Beverly Hills 90210 and often fantasized about going to an American college by the beach.

They arranged a trip to New York City for a five-month “trial period”, staying in a small studio apartment. This trip was an excellent test for their relationship, and they passed. As Jess remembers,

“It became clear that we were going to do this together, and we were going to do life together.” (audio below)

Marriage

It also became clear that they wanted to move to the US more permanently. They decided to try and get green cards. Their lawyer suggested that Eman apply, and Jess come as her spouse. This complicated Jess’s plan. She already had the ring, and the proposal all planned out! In the end, Jess still proposed but did end up going to New York as Eman’s spouse.

They married at City Hall in Toronto in 2015. Jess’s father had just passed away, so she was a “complete disaster” emotionally, but is thankful they did it for the sake of the green card. 

“In our wedding photos, it looks like Eman is taking me hostage.”

A year and a half later, they had a proper wedding in Montreal [see the above photo]. Jess’s mom helped throw a beautiful wedding party. It was a “real cultural mishmash,” with Jewish traditions, Arabic traditions, mixed in with Peruvian food and culture. They did the hora and the dabka. As Jess remembers,

“We had belly dancers come out at the end, and my mom got down with them. I may have proposed to Eman, but at the wedding, I was full bride.”

They made the official move to NYC in April of 2016. Eman describes New York City as tough, gross, filthy, but also unique, fashionable, and colorful. 

“Originality is so embraced in New York City. You meet such interesting people who probably left where they are from so they could come here and express themselves fully. It is a beautiful liberal bubble where we think Hillary Clinton is president of this town.” (audio below)

Future

Eman tries to perform every single night, sometimes even more than one show in a night. She gets rusty quickly, so being on stage regularly is her way of staying sharp. Eventually, she hopes to have a stable income from comedy (and fame and fortune of course).

Audio: Eman discussing her and Jess’s relationship on stage at the New York Comedy Club

In regards to America’s future, Eman isn’t too sure. She wants to be an idealist and think that liberal-minded people will win in the end.

“I want to believe this is the last of ignorance, but I look at the future, and I am so worried. I don’t know if evil wins in the end, but I feel like that is what’s winning right now.”

Update: Since the interview, Eman and Jess have a new daughter (puppy) named Esther Honey, their Crave Comedy Special The El-Salomons: Marriage of Convenience launched and they have been creating awesome cartoons about their lives together over on Instagram.

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© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes have been edited for clarity and brevity.